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I don't like living in halls

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    I'm a fresher, it's been 2 days but I don't like it. I hate the bed, it is rock hard, I don't like having a communal kitchen, it makes getting my food awkward as I have to wait until whatever else is cooking is done. I feel self concious about everything. My flatmates are nice, but we aren't connecting. It probably has something to do with the fact I don't like drinking or clubbing.I live a 40 minute train ride away and I am considering ending the contract to come home and commute because I am really unhappy. I have had an introductory talk for my course and I have tried talking to people but they all walked off and ignored me when I tried to speak to them. I just feel so unhappy, no-one has had more than a 5 minute conversation with me and they always seem to be finding excuses to get away from me. I'm gonna go home at weekends, but I;d much rather be a fulltime commuter. I called my parents in tears as I am so unhappy. They want me to try out for at least a term, but preferably the whole year and that I can commute from 2nd year and for 3rd year. Has anyone else been through this too?
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    My head of year always says that you should stick it out, don't come home at the weekends as you'll miss out on important socialising and making friends!!!! Try and look at it positively, if you have it in your head you hate it, you'll never see the good in it.
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    It's really up to you. Don't stress too much about it. It's not the end of the world if you don't make friends with everyone, and of course there are people that don't like clubbing/drinking you are not the only one. Don't panic, it's not the end of the world. As your parents said, you can commute if it's too horrible for you, but you might as well stick around a little bit longer since you have the option? It's a new experience haha so why not.

    I commute to uni it takes about an hour to an hour and a half and I have no problem with it can just listen to music it's nice. I think 40 minutes commute is good, if it comes to that for you. Again, not a big deal. It's a myth but you can still make friends very easily even if you don't live in halls (I never did I live in shared housing). You still have time to make friends on your course, and if somehow no one wants to talk to you still after much effort, you can join clubs and societies as well as other things. Don't give up it's your first year and it will turn out well if you are positive surely. If you are positive, good things will happen no matter what.
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    Don't worry, people are probably in the same situation as you. I went on a taster course once at a uni, and the accommodation was so awful I realised I really didn't want to go to that uni any more, so I understand the impact bad accommodation can have, especially if you haven't been away from home much before. With a 40 minute train ride it's probably reasonably easy to get in and out of uni, but if it were me, I'd take your parents advice and stay a bit longer. With the kitchen, a routine will probably start to happen, and everyone will sort of fall into it. And just keep trying to talk to other people, like if you sit next to someone in a lecture, try and get to know them. But anyway, I'd stick it out a bit longer.
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    OP I'm going through the exact same thing. I moved into halls 2 days ago and I'm absolutely hating every second of it. My flatmates are all drinkers and they are really loud at night, laughing and banging things etc. Because I don't do any of that they've already formed a group and go out together and stuff (right now they are having a meal together). I don't click with any of them at all and today I called my mum crying because I couldn't take it anymore. I hate having to creep when no one else is in the kitchen to get my stuff and not being comfortable enough to leave my things in the fridge. I honestly want to leave uni as I don't think I can hack it. The uni I'm at is so far away from home and all unis where I live are absolute cr*p so I'm stuck.

    Sorry for ranting but in short I'm going through the same thing. What I'd advise is just hang on in there like your parents are saying and if you really can't hack it then I guess the best thing to do is to commute. You don't want your unhappiness to affect your results you know? It's what we're all going to uni for, to get a degree.

    Best of luck OP
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    You been there TWO DAYS.

    Calm down, relax, and start thinking about bigger things than how you cook your dinner.
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    (Original post by clueingforlooks)
    OP I'm going through the exact same thing. I moved into halls 2 days ago and I'm absolutely hating every second of it. My flatmates are all drinkers and they are really loud at night, laughing and banging things etc. Because I don't do any of that they've already formed a group and go out together and stuff (right now they are having a meal together). I don't click with any of them at all and today I called my mum crying because I couldn't take it anymore. I hate having to creep when no one else is in the kitchen to get my stuff and not being comfortable enough to leave my things in the fridge. I honestly want to leave uni as I don't think I can hack it. The uni I'm at is so far away from home and all unis where I live are absolute cr*p so I'm stuck.

    Sorry for ranting but in short I'm going through the same thing. What I'd advise is just hang on in there like your parents are saying and if you really can't hack it then I guess the best thing to do is to commute. You don't want your unhappiness to affect your results you know? It's what we're all going to uni for, to get a degree.

    Best of luck OP
    Sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. I have started having irregular eating times, having meals when no-one is in there and things I can cook quickly. I have a George Foreman grill that I can cook chicken and fish in about 5 minues with and I have microwavable frozen veg so it's all done quickly. I've moved all my kitchen stuff and cutlery and crockery into my room as already they have been taking it. I have moved my squash drink into my room as they've been drinking it and my cereals and snack foods as they've been taking it.
    I really hate it!

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    (Original post by returnmigrant)
    You been there TWO DAYS.

    Calm down, relax, and start thinking about bigger things than how you cook your dinner.
    I have social anixety and autisim. It bothers me, I can't help it! If I could be different I would. I don't enjoy being like this!
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    damn OP i feel exactly the same, i live about 50 min train ride away from home and i'm contemplating on commuting in the second and third year. i think we should just stick it out until the end of the year. Have you joined any societies?


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    (Original post by returnmigrant)
    You been there TWO DAYS.

    Calm down, relax, and start thinking about bigger things than how you cook your dinner.
    not just two day, OP was probably there for freshers week as well


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    What uni do you go to? Not even kidding, having the same problem and im not even living out xD Tbh i think the culture in freshers is just to party cos even though I've spoken to quite a few people, it quickly transitions into talking about parties and clubs, which i have no interest in. It could just be because of the general mode of freshers week having everyone hyped, so maybe stick it out cos it may improve after the introductory week is over?
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    (Original post by maryling1997)
    I'm a fresher, it's been 2 days but I don't like it. I hate the bed, it is rock hard, I don't like having a communal kitchen, it makes getting my food awkward as I have to wait until whatever else is cooking is done. I feel self concious about everything. My flatmates are nice, but we aren't connecting. It probably has something to do with the fact I don't like drinking or clubbing.I live a 40 minute train ride away and I am considering ending the contract to come home and commute because I am really unhappy. I have had an introductory talk for my course and I have tried talking to people but they all walked off and ignored me when I tried to speak to them. I just feel so unhappy, no-one has had more than a 5 minute conversation with me and they always seem to be finding excuses to get away from me. I'm gonna go home at weekends, but I;d much rather be a fulltime commuter. I called my parents in tears as I am so unhappy. They want me to try out for at least a term, but preferably the whole year and that I can commute from 2nd year and for 3rd year. Has anyone else been through this too?
    Hello ,

    I'm sorry to hear that your experience hasn't started off in the best way. To start off with; I agree with your parents. It's best to wait a term and just see how things go; they may improve. It has only been two days and yes, they haven't been the two days for you but again, things may improve.

    With your room and your bed, talk to your accommodation officer. Sometimes they'll have different rooms you may be able to swap too - I'm not guaranteeing it but it could happen, if not, buy a mattress topper - they are SUPER comfy. A little money but so so so worth it! The communal kitchen thing is a literally horrible but just plan your meals around times when people aren't in there - at the same time, you don't have to wait until they have finished with their meals. You could hang around in the kitchen and get talking to your flat mates and it may help you feel more settled. Not drinking and clubbing has NOTHING to do with your ability to make friends and connect with people - no one is that shallow to judge you on that. They will respect you and your decision. Just give it a little bit of time.

    I doubt people were finding excuses to walk away and not talk to - I'm sure people just had plans and were busy and their heads were everywhere - as every students is when they first start! Just give it a chance and once your course gets under way it may start to move you forward with people! Things change once everything has settled down!

    If at the end of term you are still REALLY unhappy then move away. Halls isn't for everyone and it's worth giving it a try instead of just two days.

    Best of luck
 
 
 
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