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Dating secretly behind my parents back

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    #1

    (Original post by Waki7866)
    Thats correct....a man shouldnt be that way....religion teaches you to respect your women....culture tells you she has to stay at home...so there is the difference....

    Religion isnt the issue...culture and mentality is...
    Yeah you're right :/ it's the backwards culture that's the problem. I think my life would be 1000 worse if I was from an uber conservative family, but even so now I'm still restricted. My mum openly says how even when I'm married or 30 she'll still tell me what to do. She says only she knows what's best for me and even I don't know what's best for me sometimes.
    Countless times, countless times I've argued against her and told her she's wrong and I can't live like that and it goes from one ear and out the other
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bump
    Can't say much other than keep seeing him and if he's the one try to tell your mum, and she may be ok with it if not then decide if you want to please your parents or yourself.

    Goodluck

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    Off topic but aren't most Iranians that live in the West agnostics?
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    (Original post by Edo123)
    Off topic but aren't most Iranians that live in the West agnostics?
    Yeah not the ones I'm related to
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah you're right :/ it's the backwards culture that's the problem. I think my life would be 1000 worse if I was from an uber conservative family, but even so now I'm still restricted. My mum openly says how even when I'm married or 30 she'll still tell me what to do. She says only she knows what's best for me and even I don't know what's best for me sometimes.
    Countless times, countless times I've argued against her and told her she's wrong and I can't live like that and it goes from one ear and out the other
    You sound like a inteligent girl andnow atleast understand its not religion...its our culture thats wrong....im in the same boat...our families rely too much on culture and our ancestors...

    My advice: i know parentd always will be parents...u only have one set of them...they will tell you off even when your 50....thats how parents are...very protective...

    But your a adult...you have to make decisions that you believe are right...and as you grow older...parents back off abit...dnt feel your alone...dont let parents telling off get to you...
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    When your married....and live seperately....you get to do things your way...if your clevet about it...and still keep parents happy...
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    Date him if you want to, it's your life to live not hers.
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    Step #1 - tell parents you are a lesbian
    Step #2 - wait for shock to wear off - a few weeks?
    Step #3 - tell them you realised being a lesbian is not your thang - and you met a nice non-Muslim/non-Iranian boy you have been having sex with.

    Problem solved.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ynyswen)
    Step #1 - tell parents you are a lesbian
    Step #2 - wait for shock to wear off - a few weeks?
    Step #3 - tell them you realised being a lesbian is not your thang - and you met a nice non-Muslim/non-Iranian boy you have been having sex with.

    Problem solved.
    My mother would have a stroke or a heart attack or maybe even both actually if I did that
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My mother would have a stroke or a heart attack or maybe even both actually if I did that
    Just trying to help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My mother would have a stroke or a heart attack or maybe even both actually if I did that
    Just trying to help.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Waki7866)
    When your married....and live seperately....you get to do things your way...if your clevet about it...and still keep parents happy...
    What's so sad in all this though is if he were a doctor or dentist, she'd probably protest half heartedly for a month about me being with him then afterwards say 'fine, it's your life'.
    She worships doctors and literally believes a girls value is only confirmed once she's married a doctor. Maybe it's cos she never became a doctor so now she's obsessed with them idk
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    Well by the sounds of it it doesn't seem like there's much you can do except continue secretly dating him until you're financially independent enough to move out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah you're right :/ it's the backwards culture that's the problem. I think my life would be 1000 worse if I was from an uber conservative family, but even so now I'm still restricted. My mum openly says how even when I'm married or 30 she'll still tell me what to do. She says only she knows what's best for me and even I don't know what's best for me sometimes.
    Countless times, countless times I've argued against her and told her she's wrong and I can't live like that and it goes from one ear and out the other
    You are in England.Not iran.Your parents cannot make you do anything.If they dont like it just tell them where to go (preferably back to iran)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What's so sad in all this though is if he were a doctor or dentist, she'd probably protest half heartedly for a month about me being with him then afterwards say 'fine, it's your life'.
    She worships doctors and literally believes a girls value is only confirmed once she's married a doctor. Maybe it's cos she never became a doctor so now she's obsessed with them idk
    She just wants the best for you i suppose. In her mind that is the best. The parents set themself a vision for the kids and some can become obsessed with it. Dont stress, sometimes they dont have a choice and have to accept it

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