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Finally have somewhat of a sex life but things aren't going too great.

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    #1

    I quickly discovered my boyfriend is a sexual person and I had no issue with this. I have become quite open minded and I was looking forward to experiencing new things with him ( I'm a virgin).

    Things have been moving pretty quickly and I found myself really comfortable in his presence, so I have been giving things a go to try and discover what I like. He actually puts in so much effort to make sure I'm satisfied and he will spend so much time focusing on me. I just don't really get anything out of certain activities, like I imagined oral sex would feel amazing and my toes would curl.however I find myself just waiting for him to finish, he really does love going down and I haven't enjoyed it so far.

    There are a few little bits I have enjoyed and he's picked up on. Most of the time he will focus on this area and during this time it feels great. I think I need to be making out with him at the same time for fully get turned on. I decided to ask what he wanted me to do to him and I went ahead and explored his body and enjoyed watching him get all excited. But when he focused on me again it was very hit and miss.

    He wanted to go all the way and he has never pressured me into anything. I don't even feel like I'm not ready, I'm just worried that it will be a **** experience. From my view point I'm thinking '' imagine I waited all these years to have sex and I'm totally disappointed''😞

    I just want to feel something lol. Maybe I'm not relaxing enough, I don't know? I kinda feel like sometimes I'm just waiting for him to finish what he's doing, when really I should be having the time of my life lol

    Any advice?
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    Have you watched a lot of unrealistic porn?

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    I 8think*you might not be very comfortable with your own pleasure but you seem to get off well by getting him off or watching him feel good so focus on that?

    Maybe you don't get off on just stimulation and you need to actually see him and well during oral he's all the way down there and your eyes are all the way up here maybe during actual sex when you get to see his face/reactions you'll love that? + maybe during making out you actually get to touch him etc
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    well to put it bluntly men's bodies are just simpler than women's... you have to do a pretty **** job to fail to get most guys off (some have more specific need/preferences, but in general) whereas it's quite common for women to have more varying anatomies and need very different things to enjoy themselves

    it's very normal for it to take time to find what works in a new relationship, even if your partner is experienced, this is amplified if you don't know what you like yet as you can't even tell your partner

    what you do need to do is tell him if something isn't feeling great so he can try something else

    also, don't build sex up too much, your first time isn't likely to be mind blowing, it might hurt, it might be awkward, again you won't know what you like - the best stuff comes later
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Have you watched a lot of unrealistic porn?

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    Nah haven't really dabbled in porn in years. It didn't really do anything for me.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I 8think*you might not be very comfortable with your own pleasure but you seem to get off well by getting him off or watching him feel good so focus on that?

    Maybe you don't get off on just stimulation and you need to actually see him and well during oral he's all the way down there and your eyes are all the way up here maybe during actual sex when you get to see his face/reactions you'll love that? + maybe during making out you actually get to touch him etc
    Yeah that's a good idea. He just seems so enthusiastic about oral sex and I am not convinced I want him to go down on me again. I'm yet to go down on him, so maybe I'll end up enjoying that.

    I think you're onto something. I was literally thinking the same thing earlier. Whenever we are doing something and kissing it's 100x better for me and a couple times I felt like I'm close to orgasming. Well time will tell if I'll find what works for me - thank you lol
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    well to put it bluntly men's bodies are just simpler than women's... you have to do a pretty **** job to fail to get most guys off (some have more specific need/preferences, but in general) whereas it's quite common for women to have more varying anatomies and need very different things to enjoy themselves

    it's very normal for it to take time to find what works in a new relationship, even if your partner is experienced, this is amplified if you don't know what you like yet as you can't even tell your partner

    what you do need to do is tell him if something isn't feeling great so he can try something else

    also, don't build sex up too much, your first time isn't likely to be mind blowing, it might hurt, it might be awkward, again you won't know what you like - the best stuff comes later
    Haha yeah I hear that even my boyfriend said the same thing. There isn't much needed to make him tick. He kinda clicked on when I wasn't enjoying certain activities as much and when it was really bad I let him know the deal. I am definitely not looking forward to my first time at all. I have no expectations..
    #3

    you're similar to me, i don't really get off on actual 'sexual' stimulation (e.g vagina focused stuff ) more on kissing, touching, biting i think it's more of a mental thing for me. I know you haven't gone all the way yet but for me sex isn't that physically pleasing however i do find that if the guy is kissing me, my neck, running his hands over me during sex i find that a lot more of a turn on? basically it's just trial and error and you'll probably just have to keep trying different things until you find something that works for you, good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haha yeah I hear that even my boyfriend said the same thing. There isn't much needed to make him tick. He kinda clicked on when I wasn't enjoying certain activities as much and when it was really bad I let him know the deal. I am definitely not looking forward to my first time at all. I have no expectations..
    it's good you talked to him women are so different and I think sometimes people don't realise that liking/not liking something doesn't make them some sort of freak! you can like biting, not like oral sex etc whatever you like, it really doesn't matter... the important thing is to find ways that both partners enjoy sex - whether that is in traditional ways or not...

    OK, you can look forward to it a bit! just expect it to go the same way as everything else - it will take time to work out whether you like fast/slow, what position etc - doesn't mean it can't still be enjoyable in the meantime
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    New sensations can take time to get used to and appreciate.

    Do you know what sort of touches you do like? (In other words 'Do you masturbate?')
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    Stop watching Rom-coms haha.
    Sex is what you make it, it can be good and it can be c**p.

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