The Student Room Group

My family completely ignored my coming out

So, I am gay. My parents have known for a while, and most of my friends know, but I had a hard time coming out to the rest of my family. They are not extremely religious or anything, but they are a bit more on the traditional side. Still, I felt I should and didn't want to hide my girlfriend anymore. I decided to do it on Facebook, because it seemed easiest, and my family is very active on social media. I kept it lighthearted and upbeat (because it does not have to be dramatic).

The result was total silence.

I posted something else a few days later, a bit more serious this time, with a picture of my girlfriend and I, and still nothing; no messages; no likes.

I know it is just Facebook but it's hurtful to see everyone liking my cousin's random food-instagrams and stories about their new IKEA furniture, and everyone ignoring my posts. My family has a history of avoiding painful topics, but this is ridiculous.

I now want to spam their walls with rainbows until they acknowledge me. Thoughts?
They have acknowledged it, they probably just don't care. Looks like it's just not as deep as you thought, why the need for so much attention.
they probably hope it's just a phase
Reply 3
no one cares about your sexual orientation, people got work to do
Reply 4
Ah yes the infamous problem of hiding your sexuality for a long time, revealing it and then realising that not many people care anymore in 2016.
Isn't it a good thing they are ignoring it? I mean they aren't being abusive virtually or in real life, they simply seem not to care. Maybe you could say it to their faces and just see their reactions.
Reply 6
It is a big deal to me.

Yes, I need attention from the people I care about when it comes to something which is huge to me, even if they cannot relate to it. I congratulate them on their pregnancies even though I don't want babies myself - I know it matters a huge deal to them and it is just what you do.

Also, what my uncle had for breakfast is not a big deal, and yet people have plenty to say about that.
Reply 7
Because it's actually not a big deal. The world has changed now, more people are open to homosexuality so they're not surprised when someone comes out.

Would you have preferred if they insulted you, called you horrible names or disowned you?

You should watch this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgHwF4CNiJA
Reply 8
Original post by UWS
Because it's actually not a big deal. The world has changed now, more people are open to homosexuality so they're not surprised when someone comes out.

Would you have preferred if they insulted you, called you horrible names or disowned you?

You should watch this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgHwF4CNiJA


LMAO I WAS THINKING OF THE EXACT SAME VID WHEN I POSTED EARLIEr.

Goddamnit wish I'd posted it now.
To be honest I'd be annoyed you didn't feel it was important enough to tell me in person. I understand if you're worried about it but if it's that important to you then it should be a face to face conversation.

If I was you're family I'd be hurt and annoyed. Facebook is not a way to tell people news that is life-changing. It's an impersonal website filled with people I used to work with and 1/2 friends. I'm fairly sure that's true for everyone. In their eyes (at least the ones that care) you don't consider them important enough to have told them before telling the guy you met on a night out once that you added on Facebook because you were "BFFs" after a few beers.

The other option is that they just don't care. That's not a bad thing. I tend to ignore people's relationship stuff on Facebook.
(edited 7 years ago)
Maybe they already had an inkling that you were gay?
Original post by UWS
Because it's actually not a big deal. The world has changed now, more people are open to homosexuality so they're not surprised when someone comes out.

Would you have preferred if they insulted you, called you horrible names or disowned you?

You should watch this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgHwF4CNiJA


Thats not the world.What you mean is parts of the west.Go to russia,Africa,the entirety of the middle east,the carribean,Asia or southern USA and you will find that actually its not really accepted at all.In 76 countries its illegal to be gay and even in the countries where it is legal its not exactly welcomed is it? It doesnt sound like her family are ok with it anyway,it sounds like her family are ignoring it in the hopes it will go away.
Reply 12
aww diddums, what were you expecting - a massive coming out party, a fanfare and a letter from the president?
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by ELVsLP
aww diddums, what were you expecting - a massive coming out party, a fanfare and a letter from the president?


I was expecting "Greats" or "Cools" like what happened in the College Humor video. A simple "like" would have done. I didn't get that - I got the silent treatment.
Original post by ELVsLP
aww diddums, what were you expecting - a massive coming out party, a fanfare and a letter from the president?


:teehee:
it's 2016, what if they don't care? shouldn't be a big deal anymore. or it's like you want it to be a big fuss and dance :s-smilie:

Quick Reply

Latest