Sorry if you sort of see this as a rant, but I just want to get this feeling out of me.
First of all, people are avoiding me. For no absolute reason. I'm literally breaking down in the middle of school classes and having to go to the bathroom so I wouldn't be embarrassed into crying in the middle of class. Since I have anxiety issues, this just makes it harder for me to focus on studies.
Next, you've got the family who hardly understands you. My family is multilingual between Cantonese and English, however even though Cantonese was my first language it is much worse than my English and it's hard to communicate with parents who don't speak that much English sometimes. So I kinda have no where to share my feelings but here.
And then finally, this one person who I really admired started giving so much attention to others and suddenly not really talking to me is a bit hard on me. Like I broke my own pencil when I thought of these three things together (I'm sorry Mr. Pencil).
I haven't done anything wrong that I can think of, and I'm just walking around school looking pitiful (which I hate) and lonely, and then teachers ending up asking me what's wrong or what's happened recently. Of course, I don't really tell them anything because I don't speak to teachers too often (I'm sorry, but many teachers bother me in a way that they sometimes threaten using your grades and reports as a punishment for doing something personally wrong).
I really have no idea what to feel or what to do.
I'm just in a spiral of mixed feelings.
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