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Feeling down

I've moved around 200 miles for university so I know literally no one. I'm studying music and have been talking to a large group of people also studying music during the break before university started. I get on well with them all but I'm still feeling down and unincluded.

I'm living off campus because that's what I was given and I don't want to move however everyone I've been talking to is on campus. They're also all doing a different course to me, and my course on has one other person on. Because of this I'm feeling really down and like I don't really belong in the group.

I know that it's only been a week and that it's probably partially down to homesickness but I don't know what to do.

I find myself on my own with nothing to do because everyone else has made plans in person so I'm never asked to do anything. All of my flat mates, although they are great guys and we're planning to live together next year, are all on different courses to me so have different timetables.

I don't know what I'm asking for, but just some advice would be good :frown:
Hi :smile: so now is the time when alot more people than you realise are feeling this. Just put into perspective that this is probably the biggest change you've had in your life so far, and you're doing it alone. It is very natural to feel like this! In terms of socializing, do you think anyone has made firm friends after 1 week? The answer: No. People latch on to each other because they're too afraid of feeling what you're feeling, however they're still strangers to each other and when they go to bed at night i bet many of them stare at the ceiling thinking 'what am i doing??'.

My advice is: Talk to student support, they will be VERY experienced with dealing with the things you are feeling and will have good advice.

Consider joining a sport or society, that way you'll definitely have people to socialise with.

Don't pressure yourself to be having the ultimate freshers experience, not everyone is the same and you can't be expected to fit into the mold of the perfect fresher.

I hope that helps somewhat. You'll probably notice many people writing the same things as you on here so that might make you realise how normal your feelings are. Don't give up just yet, let yourself feel what you are feeling, seek help and let life flow.
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iThrow
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if i was you i'd find where the nearest gym is and try encourage a few of the house mates to go with you a few nights a week or so. you sometimes have to be the ones to make plans and invite others
Well I have started a new sixth form and right now I have a free period in the library so there are so many people around me and its loud and they're in their groups as well. I really do feel unincluded in my subjects especially and its awkward trying to find the people I know who have already made friends.

I've just been talking to all my friends back at my old school everyday, even during school, I also talk about it to my sister and that's what keeps me company and feel like I do have a lot of people who care about me. Plus its uni, you will be more alone and you have to experience that for when you move out and live on your own. But then again go outside and have some fresh air and talk to people with similar interests as you like music and what instruments you want to play.

I hope I was somewhat of help :smile:
Original post by EdwardBarfield9
I've moved around 200 miles for university so I know literally no one. I'm studying music and have been talking to a large group of people also studying music during the break before university started. I get on well with them all but I'm still feeling down and unincluded.

I'm living off campus because that's what I was given and I don't want to move however everyone I've been talking to is on campus. They're also all doing a different course to me, and my course on has one other person on. Because of this I'm feeling really down and like I don't really belong in the group.

I know that it's only been a week and that it's probably partially down to homesickness but I don't know what to do.

I find myself on my own with nothing to do because everyone else has made plans in person so I'm never asked to do anything. All of my flat mates, although they are great guys and we're planning to live together next year, are all on different courses to me so have different timetables.

I don't know what I'm asking for, but just some advice would be good :frown:


Hello :smile:,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down at the beginning of your university journey. A lot of it can be contributed towards the homesickness - it gets you in a 'funk' where you feel down, over think everything and generally have a crappy time.

My question is, have you tried making an effort with them? Have you tried making plans with them, arranged a meal out or some time to study with them? If you want to stay close with this group ensure that you are making the effort and planning or ask what they are doing and see if they involve you.

Make the most of your course - even if there is only one other person, at least you two could become good friends.

In regards to your flat - it doesn't matter if you have it doesn't matter if you have different timetables, you can still cook together in the evenings, go for meals, go to the pubs or go studying.

Good luck, stay positive! :biggrin:

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