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I forget a lot and it makes me incapable. Just wanted advice

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    sorry I created this thread earlier but posted it in the wrong section plus it was hard to read as I didn't split it up into paragraphs, I tried to edit but as anonymous it wouldn't let me, so maybe the mods can delete the other thread.

    Anyway, I just wanted to post about a problem I have. I work weekends as a mental health nurse assistant on an elderely ward for people with dementia. I did qualify as a nurse but chose not to work as a qualified as I changed my mind about a career and am now studying something else. A problem I have though is that I struggle with certain things including remembering things clearly. I appear dopy all the time and don't know why I'm like this. I go to a sports club and one of the coaches there said that he was going to ask me about a blood pressure issue he had but that a woman (who I train with) had told him not to ask me as I wouldn't know. This same women even said to me once 'I'm not being funny but if I came on a ward and you was there I'd just walk out and go somewhere else'.

    I was fine academically during my training but felt that I lacked in certain areas on placements. All my mentors said I was fine/good apart from the last placement. I struggled and my mentor had no faith in me, said my knowledge lacked and various other things. There were things I didn't feel were fair but one of them was I was put on phone duty. I volunteered to do it as I wanted to make a good impression and answering phones is a secret fear of mine and I wanted to try to get over it.

    Anyway I received a call from someone in the finance department asking for someone's gp number. I looked on the computer but couldn't find it (I'm bad with computers) so I told her this and said that I'd just be a moment while I get help off a college. She said 'well how do you look up patients numbers yourself'. I got nervous and said 'sorry about this I can't remember how to do it I will just get some help'. I asked a collegue and he told me what to do (but didn't get up and show me). I was still unable to do it so politely told the women and went back to the nurse/colleague panicking. He told me to put her through to admin. I went back to the phone but with it being my first time on the phones I didn't know how to put through so I gave her the number to admin. She said 'you should be able to put me through really, very unprofessional' I said 'ok sorry thanks' then she just went/hung up. I got upset and being the wimp I am went to the toilets and secretly cried lol. I need to be stronger somehow.

    My mentor found out about the call and told me that she said I left the phone off the hook and that I grunted on the phone :/. As far as I was aware I was polite and didn't grunt. If the situation was reversed and I spoke like she did I'm sure I'd be classed as in the wrong. I told my mentor that I am bad with computers and get nervous on phones sometimes but that I did my best and was polite. My mentor said that 'I showed you how to look up go numbers last week on your first day' I told her what the women said and my mentor said 'I mean I don't always know how to put calls through but I think she was just taken aback that you couldn't do it'. So she didn't mark me off as passing the 'communication with colleagues' element of my assessment.

    I was also required to teach a student how to give an injection so I spent the night before revising how to. On the day I showed the student in front on my mentor but there was a twist lol. My mentor had secretly told the student to prepare some questions to ask me. Some of them I couldn't answer including a medication dose as I'd forgotten the max dose for that particular medication. I said that I would refer to the med guidance book that is kept in ever clinic but it wasn't good enough she said she was worried. The student said that she was told not to tell me about the questions. I wish I'd have been informed that there would be questions on the med so I could recap/go over my notes I thought I was just teaching the technique but I guess I should have thought better lol.

    I passed eventually but I still don't seem to be as sharp as most people. For example last weekend I was on a ward that I'd been on once before but I didn't know the patients. One of the patients urinated on the floor and whilst another staff helped them I went to get the bucket to clean it up. The nurse in charge said ' who did it'. I couldn't remember so said 'I'm not sure I don't know the patients. She said 'did you see the patient do it. I said 'yes I helped pull their trousers up then went to clean it up'. She said 'you don't know names but do you know who it was facially. I thought about it but just couldn't remember so just said 'sorry I didn't notice'. She just said 'oh ok'shook her head then walked off. I asked the other staff who was with her which patient it was he knew so I went and told her afterwards. It's just things like this, I just want to be normal but the fact is I forget a lot and make mistakes in front others. I don't really remember things clearly in my head. Just wanted advice. 0
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