Rough break up

My ex-GF of 1.5 years broke up with me around 3 weeks ago...

It's not a long time, I know, but I genuinely felt like we loved each other... We had so many great moments with each other...

Because she was an international student, she would have to go back home eventually. Even though we made so many promises to each other that we would stick together, she suddenly started to text me less half way through summer while she was in her home country. When she came back to the UK, she broke up with me... Saying how she couldn't see a future in us. That she wanted to stay in her home country with her parents... She was so worried about whether she would be even able to get a visa to work in the UK, she said even her friend from Cambridge with a first couldnt even get work here...

I had so much on my chest these past few weeks and my heart hurts, so much, it felt so one sided... Like she didn't even want to try and see if we were able to work things out.

However, I have been unemployed for a whole year since graduating, not being able to find a job. After having a look, it's pretty insane that she stuck with me for the one year... I took her for granted and I didn't work hard enough... I understand that I have to fix myself career-wise and my self esteem, so I can stand on my own 2 feet while holding my arms out to support somebody.

It pisses me off seeing that she will fall for someone else, she has so many guys chasing after her. She was so faithful to me, and I couldn't hold my end of the relationship... I can only wish that (IF) after I manage to fix myself emotionally and financially, that she would change her mind and come back...

Even after all of this, I still want to support her and care for her... I hate seeing myself be so selfish...

I feel so helpless, I don't know how to feel anymore knowing that the person who used to support me is gone...

Time will heal, being in another country is very hard. Some people do work out but it takes a lot of effort between two people and if one person isn't willing to put the effort in then it won't work, in this case if she really wanted to work it out then she would have tried at least.