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Mature student with anxiety struggling to feel accepted at Uni

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    • Thread Starter

    I'm posting anon because I'm on an NHS funded healthcare course with other students who use this site.

    For a long time it's been my goal to get onto this course, I've suffered with bad anxiety particularly social anxiety for many years and wanted to do this to help others.

    Now I'm here I am questioning my suitability for the programme, the students are either very loud, confident and assertive, or more reserved and cliquey, and seem not to want to show friendliness towards me, and I feel like perhaps I'm not cut out for such a career.

    I also worry that my awkwardness caused by my anxiety is a big reason for my struggle, and for whatever reason my course mates' can't don't know or don't want to get involved with me.

    When I'm in lecture I feel panic and dread most of the time, and it makes communicating with others really hard, and people seem to be rude to me when I'm in this state rather than supportive 😢
    • Thread Starter


    It's possible that the more reserved people you mentioned are just shy. I wouldn't recommend reading too much into it.

    If this course is your goal, try to remember why you started it. The social stuff is always an extra detail with university, but don't let it put you off your main reason for being there. If you do want to talk to people more, you could try asking questions about the course to start off with and see if you get on with anybody? That's clearly something you're interested in, and they should be too (why else would they be there)?

    Have you got a personal tutor or supervisor you could talk to about this? They might be able to give you more specific advice to fit your circumstances.


    Join clubs or societies? x

    Wow... you do seem to be struggling. You say you're a mature student but don't mention your age - not that it is really relevant but it could be. If you are in your 20's fellow students probably don't see you as 'mature' and your anxiety could be causing you trouble connecting. If you are significantly older then your fellow students probably look to you with respect but don't consider you a peer to just hang out with. If you have anxiety and are seeking out a course so you can use your experience to help others then remember the anxiety is causing you not to see the situation as it really is. You had to apply for your place at uni and the NHS and the uni both felt you were quite qualified. You. can. do. this!! I hope you are receiving your own counseling for your anxiety. Remember those loud students are probably behaving that way to cover their own insecurities and the cliquish ones are probably not as removed as you think but it's understandable why you feel the way you do. Remember what your ultimate goal is here. Whereas it would be ideal if you could make great friends at uni that is just a bonus.... uni is to give you the educations and skills needed to build a career. You, yourself, know the importance of helping others especially ones with anxiety and other struggles. You could and probably will end up being very help and beneficial to others in the future. Please, please don't second guess yourself - you are just as qualified as any student in your course. Anxiety has robbed you of a general peace of mind - it is an ailment like diabetes or heart disease - don't let it rob you of your future and a career where you could really make a difference to others. Go seek counseling and stick to your goals. I truly wish you well!
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