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No longer trust girlfriend of 3 years, please help?

Ive been with my girlfriend 3 years and throughout that time shes had her younger brother pass just after we met and her mum pass away back in june so basically from the start ive been supporting her through all of her grieving. The last couple of weeks ive noticed that she has become quite distant with me and whilst on holiday last week i told her how i felt, and she said that she still loved me and there was no need to worry. The thing is, over the past few months she has been very friendly with a guy she works with.. and on a number of occassions she was going and spending time with just them two, and had spent the night drinking with him and stayed in his flat "and this was after an arguement between us", but wasnt the first time she has stayed at his flat. She says they are just friends and they really click as he has lost his dad, so they can speak easily. I cant help the way i feel and i told her that it makes me feel really uncomfortable them hanging out this way, and would prefer if the just remained friends at work. his reaction to this news was "that he was going to miss her". They are still speaking to each othr privately through social media and when i asked to see a snap he had sent her last night, she wouldnt show me as she was afraid of what he had wrote in it. This ended in an arguement with her admitting to me that she had been feeling distant the last while and basically had to lie to me when i brought it up because she didnt want to ruin the holiday. She said she isnt unhappy in the relationship but isnt happy either. She said that she feels like she has to try to much with me and it should just come natural, i.e affection etc. We talked how it may be her grief making her feel this way and she says she doesnt know, and was crying telling me she really doesnt want to hurt me. This morning she appoligised for lying to me about how she feels and give me a hug. After me saying that im uncomfortable them speaking and the fact shes hiding stuff and lying, i no longer trust her or can believe anything she says. She says theyre just friends and she doesnt look at him in a romantic way but i just dont believe it. Ive had the same thing happen to me in my last relationship so its obviously maken me even more insecure..but i know when i feel like someones drifting away from me and its definitly happening again. I love her, i do everything for her and wish all this wasnt happening but unfortunitly it is. I just need a bit of clarity from someone on how they think i should move forward from now.??

Reply 1

mkap

i don't believe a boy and a girl can just stay friends like that. haters come at me but i think its wrong being so close and personal to someone while your in a relationship. just my opinion i would no way do it or i would feel uncomfortable if i had a partner and he was like that with a girl.

Reply 2

claireestelle

I get what she means about talking to someone else who has lost their parent is much easier (two losses in three years like that is a lot for one person to try and handle especially) and I can understand that it could be making you uncomfortable her spending time with him,but I think either you choose to trust her or you break it off, relationships don't work well without trust.

Reply 3

ikhan94

Sorry for your situation man, it seems to me from what ive read that maybe when she went to his house something happened, maybe a kiss or something so shes become more closer to him but obviously doesnt want to tell you or hurt you because you seem like a nice guy, if hes lying to you about one thing, chances are shes lying about other stuff as well, upto you mate. All the best :smile:

Reply 4

definitelyjuliet

It doesn't seem like she's making much of an effort and leaving you hanging there while she goes and plays. The fact that she has lost 2 people in her life shouldn't be a factor for why you want to still be together, if it isn't working for either of you...maybe it's time to call it quits.