I wrote here a year ago about my issues of being alone/isolated/depressed starting uni. There has been good news in that I became good friends with my coursemates and hung out a lot with them which is certainly much better than the alternative of just being a complete loner and I'm definitely grateful for that and aware I'm lucky.
However, I still don't feel like I improved as a person. I'm still as shy as ever and it's still as difficult to make new friends and have conversations with strangers as it ever was. This especially applies to the opposite sex as I was hoping to have a girlfriend by now, but it still seems utterly impossible...
I hate being lonely but I've also never been very sociable. Over the course of last year I fought against my unsociable nature by going to a ton of uni social gatherings/pubs/clubs/flat parties and I never said no when my more sociable friends wanted to go out, even if I really didn't want to friggin go. If you've seen the movie Yes Man it was pretty much like that. I did this in the hopes that over time I would become more socially adept and friendly and start actually enjoying socialising with strangers and grow out of my loner shell.
This hasn't happened and I'm still very awkward and insecure and my self confidence is extremely low...
As I said I'm happy to have made friends with my coursemates and that was enough for a while but I had bigger goals than a handful of friends over lifetime (and zero girlfriends).
I just wanted to put this out there, share your thoughts if you like.
All the best
At the end of my rope
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