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i don't like that my bf has had sex with girls before me?

hey
so i am 18, my bf is 22. i lost my virginity to him, and we have been together almost a year. i knew that he has had sex with 3 people before me (which isn't a lot for a 22 year old i guess?) but i feel weird because yesterday i asked him who they were. the first was his ex gf, which i already knew. but the second was a girl from tinder and the third a girl he met on a night out. i don't know why but i just cant imagine him doing that or being sexual with another girl, i feel really weird and cant stop thinking about it. it makes me sad that he's been like that with someone else. and even though it was before he even knew me, i just really don't like it and i don't know how to explain it other than i just feel weird. is this normal? i know i need to accept his past but i really don't know how. why do i feel like this? thanks
Original post by Anonymous
hey
so i am 18, my bf is 22. i lost my virginity to him, and we have been together almost a year. i knew that he has had sex with 3 people before me (which isn't a lot for a 22 year old i guess?) but i feel weird because yesterday i asked him who they were. the first was his ex gf, which i already knew. but the second was a girl from tinder and the third a girl he met on a night out. i don't know why but i just cant imagine him doing that or being sexual with another girl, i feel really weird and cant stop thinking about it. it makes me sad that he's been like that with someone else. and even though it was before he even knew me, i just really don't like it and i don't know how to explain it other than i just feel weird. is this normal? i know i need to accept his past but i really don't know how. why do i feel like this? thanks


If you don't like it then no one's forcing you to be with him.
Original post by Anonymous
hey
so i am 18, my bf is 22. i lost my virginity to him, and we have been together almost a year. i knew that he has had sex with 3 people before me (which isn't a lot for a 22 year old i guess?) but i feel weird because yesterday i asked him who they were. the first was his ex gf, which i already knew. but the second was a girl from tinder and the third a girl he met on a night out. i don't know why but i just cant imagine him doing that or being sexual with another girl, i feel really weird and cant stop thinking about it. it makes me sad that he's been like that with someone else. and even though it was before he even knew me, i just really don't like it and i don't know how to explain it other than i just feel weird. is this normal? i know i need to accept his past but i really don't know how. why do i feel like this? thanks


I m afraid I wouldn't consider that to be normal behaviour,he's choosing to be with you now that's what matters.
Reply 3
Avatar for RomNoob
RomNoob
15
Original post by Anonymous
hey
so i am 18, my bf is 22. i lost my virginity to him, and we have been together almost a year. i knew that he has had sex with 3 people before me (which isn't a lot for a 22 year old i guess?) but i feel weird because yesterday i asked him who they were. the first was his ex gf, which i already knew. but the second was a girl from tinder and the third a girl he met on a night out. i don't know why but i just cant imagine him doing that or being sexual with another girl, i feel really weird and cant stop thinking about it. it makes me sad that he's been like that with someone else. and even though it was before he even knew me, i just really don't like it and i don't know how to explain it other than i just feel weird. is this normal? i know i need to accept his past but i really don't know how. why do i feel like this? thanks


I guess i can somewhat understand what you are saying, no one like thinking baout someone they like with another person. But at the end of the day tough **** not much you can do about it. If you really like him you'll come to terms with it and forget about it if not then just break up.

If you stay with him and resent him for what hes done (even though he told you about it before hand) it'll be pretty selfish of you.
Reply 4
Avatar for Sarahsez
Sarahsez
1
Are you Asian by any chance??
Reply 5
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by RomNoob
I guess i can somewhat understand what you are saying, no one like thinking baout someone they like with another person. But at the end of the day tough **** not much you can do about it. If you really like him you'll come to terms with it and forget about it if not then just break up.

If you stay with him and resent him for what hes done (even though he told you about it before hand) it'll be pretty selfish of you.


hahaha i defo wouldn't break up with him about it christ! but yeah i need to just accept his past
My ex didn't like that I'd had girlfriends before her. It really hurt my feelings that she felt that my past relationships (which were absolutely none of her business whatsoever) affected our relationship. I found it really intrusive and inconsiderate tbh.
He's 22 years old, the chances of him having slept with someone before he met you were pretty high.
Original post by Anonymous
hey
so i am 18, my bf is 22. i lost my virginity to him, and we have been together almost a year. i knew that he has had sex with 3 people before me (which isn't a lot for a 22 year old i guess?) but i feel weird because yesterday i asked him who they were. the first was his ex gf, which i already knew. but the second was a girl from tinder and the third a girl he met on a night out. i don't know why but i just cant imagine him doing that or being sexual with another girl, i feel really weird and cant stop thinking about it. it makes me sad that he's been like that with someone else. and even though it was before he even knew me, i just really don't like it and i don't know how to explain it other than i just feel weird. is this normal? i know i need to accept his past but i really don't know how. why do i feel like this? thanks


I'm a guy and i would feel the exact same way as you towards a girl, its not unnatural in my opinion, its just down to how close you both are that is why it affects you, he decided to be with you now which matters, and if he knew you previously he would never have done those things i presume,
Original post by Anonymous
hey
so i am 18, my bf is 22. i lost my virginity to him, and we have been together almost a year. i knew that he has had sex with 3 people before me (which isn't a lot for a 22 year old i guess?) but i feel weird because yesterday i asked him who they were. the first was his ex gf, which i already knew. but the second was a girl from tinder and the third a girl he met on a night out. i don't know why but i just cant imagine him doing that or being sexual with another girl, i feel really weird and cant stop thinking about it. it makes me sad that he's been like that with someone else. and even though it was before he even knew me, i just really don't like it and i don't know how to explain it other than i just feel weird. is this normal? i know i need to accept his past but i really don't know how. why do i feel like this? thanks


I don't think it's particularly unusual to feel that way, but there isn't anything you can do about it. Things have happened in the past, and you can't change that.

I would say, you'd better decide as soon as possible whether you can come to terms with it, or if it's going to bother you too much.

If you can't deal with it, then end things now rather than later, and perhaps wait until marriage because otherwise next time you get into a relationship, you'll be the one with the "past" that potentially bothers your partner.

However, I don't really think you can blame him - he wasn't with you at the time, and was entitled to do whatever he wanted without worrying about some unknown person he might meet in the future might think about it. He's done his part, which is to be honest about it. Again, if it bothers you too much, end things sooner rather than later because he doesn't really deserve to have his time wasted.
(edited 7 years ago)
You shouldn't have asked. Never talk about previous partners, especially if you're the jealous type.
Can't really tell you how to get over it; but realise it's normal, there's nothing you can do about it, and that it's a waste of energy being annoyed at it for no reason.
(edited 7 years ago)
I get what you mean, OP. My boyfriend has slept with another person before he met me though I had never had sex before him. I'd rather he hadn't slept with anyone before, but mostly I don't think about it. (Sometimes I even forget he's had sex with anyone before me.) I think the best thing for you to do is to talk to your boyfriend about you feeling weird about the fact (nicely, not accusingly). Maybe he can reassure you that you're no less special just because he's had sex before. I'm sure over time you won't think as much about it.
Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha, I'm sorry but hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Reply 13
Avatar for Scott.
Scott.
2
Oh now. You know what? I bet your boyfriend has slept with more people than he said he has :s-smilie:
I can see where you're coming from and I understand that it can be quite an uncomfortable thought but he's with you now so don't let it get to you
I guess whats disturbing here is that you lost your virginity to someone but they didnt lose it to you, so you're irrationality has taken over. Id recommend you wait it out to see if it gets better or just leave him.
Reply 16
Avatar for FYYS
FYYS
1
Yeah I understand that. maybe because my culture- Asian. so it might make me feel different about sex and stuffs. And my bf is my first also, and his past does bother me a bit. I try to get over it and remind myself that those past build him up and become who he is right now that I love. But yeah, it’s an unpleasant feeling to think about the past

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