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Told him to leave me alone a few days ago and now I've backtracked

This guy has been a part of my life for a couple of months, we've met a few times, and weve built up a connection. We're not an item, but I'd at least say dating. He started to become distant but still messaged and was his normal self, I could just sense a change. I finally got it out of him that he had some issues going on right now, which we had previously discussed, but he wants me in his life and he still likes me. Because of personal issues, I thought this was an excuse. I could sense something had changed and assumed he didn't really care anymore. I told him that maybe we should move on and he should delete my number, but he refused. A day later I had calmed down after no contact and messaged saying I'm not sure what is going on with us but I don't want to remain hostile. He accepted this, and we were talking. He said he still wanted to see me at the end of the month. Anyway I was too rash after a few words - he made a joke during our conversation which wasn't related to the topic saying maybe he should seek women for 'services' despite it being contrary to his nature. However, I never reacted to this and told him he doesn't need to waste his money and there are plenty of girls out there to give it for free - and he replied with 'nevermind'. I'm not sure if he said this because he was going to weigh up my reaction - yeah it hurt, but I was matter of fact and chill. We then got back onto the subject of meeting and I could sense that maybe he wanted to meet because he promised we would go to this venue, and that he isn't doing it because he wanted to. I said this, he read my message and never replied. The next day he text me saying of course he wants to go with me and he isn't doing it because he feels like he has to. I was really harsh and told him that I didn't want to go anymore, and that I wanted him to leave me alone and let me carry on with my life (despite this not being what I want, I was doing this out of worry and anger), All he replied with was 'I understand' and I never said anything. It's been 3 days now and it's killing me not talking to him. I plucked up the courage to offer an olive branch - I sent a message through social network saying 'I miss talking to you' and he hasn't replied (although he hasn't deleted me and I'm not sure if he has seen it).

I know I've acted rash, but I've had a lot of bad past experiences and my self defense mechanism kicks in and I convince myself he never liked me. He knows I have these issues so I hope he understands. I know it may seem confusing - one minute I am telling him to leave me alone, the next I am telling him I miss him. Is he confused, indifferent or doesn't care? I'm just worried I've messed up. Should I just leave it now? Any advice would be appreciated.
Of course you should leave it, if he understands it's a win because you can restart, if he doesn't, you've dodged a bullet because that'll never work
what skrrt said. Youve made a move and he knows where you are. You sounds like very high maintenance. CHILL OUT.
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Original post by 999tigger
what skrrt said. Youve made a move and he knows where you are. You sounds like very high maintenance. CHILL OUT.


Thanks, I agree that I should wait now, if he doesn't reply I will bombard him with memes because I have nothing to lose. But regarding the high maintenance - I'm far from it, there is more to it. It's hard to chill when my feelings have constantly been trampled on in the past. I can't accurately summarise the inns and outs of the issue on here, so I am aware that I may come across as needy or constantly seeking attention.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks, I agree that I should wait now, if he doesn't reply I will bombard him with memes because I have nothing to lose. But regarding the high maintenance - I'm far from it, there is more to it. It's hard to chill when my feelings have constantly been trampled on in the past. I can't accurately summarise the inns and outs of the issue on here, so I am aware that I may come across as needy or constantly seeking attention.


I didnt think either of the other two just high maintenance based upon the way you explained things. For yourself as much as anyone else.
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He's a guy. Understand that he's not a girl and things like this won't bother him, if he's attracted to you then no amount of retarded behaviour from your side will change that, don't wait and waste time, just tell him the truth, tell him you like him and everything will be much, much simpler.

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