The Student Room Group

Is it normal to lie in bed almost all day everyday?

Hi guys,

I'm a second year university student and I find that when I'm not in lectures or getting food or going out with friends (which is a rare occurrence, it happens once a week if that), I'm just lying in bed for the rest of the day watching Netflix or DVDs. I would say that I'm an introvert but I do like going out occasionally. I would say that I only have a couple of real 'friends' at university, and even they don't seem to want to spend too much time with me as they spend more time with other friends. I don't mind spending the day in bed but sometimes it just makes me realise that it doesn't seem like a normal thing to be doing. Although I do get along with my housemates, I'm not really sure that I see them as friends, just acquaintances that I try to avoid. I don't avoid them for any particular reason, I just feel as though I may have social anxiety, although I've never been diagnosed with it, and therefore I'm always upstairs in my bedroom as opposed to downstairs watching TV or doing stuff with them.
So would you say this is normal? Any advice on how I can get out of bed more? Thanks in advance.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys,

I'm a second year university student and I find that when I'm not in lectures or getting food or going out with friends (which is a rare occurrence, it happens once a week if that), I'm just lying in bed for the rest of the day watching Netflix or DVDs. I would say that I'm an introvert but I do like going out occasionally. I would say that I only have a couple of real 'friends' at university, and even they don't seem to want to spend too much time with me as they spend more time with other friends. I don't mind spending the day in bed but sometimes it just makes me realise that it doesn't seem like a normal thing to be doing. Although I do get along with my housemates, I'm not really sure that I see them as friends, just acquaintances that I try to avoid. I don't avoid them for any particular reason, I just feel as though I may have social anxiety, although I've never been diagnosed with it, and therefore I'm always upstairs in my bedroom as opposed to downstairs watching TV or doing stuff with them.
So would you say this is normal? Any advice on how I can get out of bed more? Thanks in advance.

This is definitely not normal. Try and find other activities to do, your bed is to sleep in not spend the rest of your uni life in.
Try talking to a counsellor or GP about your mental health. It's okay to be introverted and less social but don't just waste your precious time at uni in bed watching Netflix and DVDs all the time. Make the most of your £9000, read books, pick up new hobbies, try reading around your course units, join societies(even though you're not social, try and go once in a while). Think about your future, what are you going to have on your CV when you graduate besides your degree?
Maybe you have an underlying illness or condition. I felt like you a few years ago and suffered for almost two years thinking that I couldn't cope and wanting to stay and and lie down all the time. U actually had a thyroid condition and was also diagnosed with fybromialga and chronic fatigue. My physical health had affected my life to the point where I didn't go out and had no social life but I didn't want one because I had become a recluse. It's taken a while but I've built my life back up and have become to function normally again. The illnesses had come in so slowly I didn't realise how much I had forgone because I had no interest or energy to do anything. It's good to enjoy your own company but are you making a difference with your life and taking the opportunities that come your way. There is more to life than what your experiening and you may become excited again about spending time with others. Don't let your life pass away with regrets.
Reply 3
Thanks for your advice guys.
I think the main reason I lie in bed as opposed to sitting at a desk to do stuff is because I have a bad back and I can't sit in one place for a long time (although this would be rectified if I wasn't spending so much time in my room).
In regards to societies, I always tell myself I'll join some, but there are none at my uni that really interest me. I did actually set one up myself last year but we couldn't get enough members to join so we ended up disbanding it.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for your advice guys.
I think the main reason I lie in bed as opposed to sitting at a desk to do stuff is because I have a bad back and I can't sit in one place for a long time (although this would be rectified if I wasn't spending so much time in my room).
In regards to societies, I always tell myself I'll join some, but there are none at my uni that really interest me. I did actually set one up myself last year but we couldn't get enough members to join so we ended up disbanding it.

I know some libraries and study spaces have more comfortable seating, try doing your work there it should be easier on your back. Hmm, are you doing any volunteering?
Reply 5
Original post by Eternalflames
I know some libraries and study spaces have more comfortable seating, try doing your work there it should be easier on your back. Hmm, are you doing any volunteering?


No, I guess that's something I could get into. As you said before I have hardly anything to put on my CV.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys,

I'm a second year university student and I find that when I'm not in lectures or getting food or going out with friends (which is a rare occurrence, it happens once a week if that), I'm just lying in bed for the rest of the day watching Netflix or DVDs. I would say that I'm an introvert but I do like going out occasionally. I would say that I only have a couple of real 'friends' at university, and even they don't seem to want to spend too much time with me as they spend more time with other friends. I don't mind spending the day in bed but sometimes it just makes me realise that it doesn't seem like a normal thing to be doing. Although I do get along with my housemates, I'm not really sure that I see them as friends, just acquaintances that I try to avoid. I don't avoid them for any particular reason, I just feel as though I may have social anxiety, although I've never been diagnosed with it, and therefore I'm always upstairs in my bedroom as opposed to downstairs watching TV or doing stuff with them.
So would you say this is normal? Any advice on how I can get out of bed more? Thanks in advance.


No it's not normal. It's not actually hugely uncommon though. A lot of people start getting some level of problems when they reach uni (often things like anxiety or depression) and these can often make you want to isolate yourself.
Depending on the level of problem you're facing you might find that some simple lifestyle changes help. I say "simple", but I appreciate that they can be difficult if you're not in a great state of mind or are just generally exhausted. You don't have to try it all at once, just try your best to do something and see if it helps.

You could also have something medically that is making you tired like a vitamin deficiency (very possible due to diet change or not getting as much sun). If you feel that this or a more severe type of mh problem may be a factor go see a doctor and check what's what. This sort of thing can be the sign of legitimate health problems so don't feel embarassed about going. You can check out mind.org and sane.org to learn more about mh issues and see if you think a doctor might be a good call for you. Personally I would say that if you already think you have social anxiety it could help you. It's up to you though.

Anyway back to lifestyle changes. Mind.org actually has some decent advice for lifestyle changes to help depression and these tend to help with other things too, so even if you don't think you have depression, check them out.
Try to get out and see people at least a bit. Even if it's just eating dinner in your living area instead of your room.
Consider trying a society even if you don't think it's a great fit for you. An outdoor society might be a good choice since there's a big mix of people who tend to join and half of their meets will actuall just be social since they can't take trips too often. It could also help you to get a bit of exercise occasionally so it could help in two ways.
That brings me to exercise. I'm not talking about going to the gym or getting yourself all worked up and sweaty. I'm talking go outside, get some fresh air and get your blood pumping just a bit. Maybe take a walk once a week to start with or go to the library to work and enjoy the leisurely stroll there. If you don't think you can manage much of that at least try to keep your window open for some fresh air and step out of your building occasionally. Fresh air and exercise helps you feel less dull and worn out. Light also works in a simmilar way so try to keep your curtains open and your lights on.
See if you can get yourself a good chair or find a comfy place to work. Most unis will have some sort of comfy working area so have an explore and see what you can find. You might also consider seeing somebody about your back. An osteopath could help see where your back issues are coming from and advise you on better posture and things to help you.
Have a shower every day. A nice cool shower can help you feel refreshed and awake. Maybe have a shower then head out for lunch or something to try to get yourself into the day.
Sleep properly. Go to bed at a decent time and allow yourself enough sleep that you feel refreshed when you wake. If this ends up being more than 9 hours sleep you may have something going on that makes you more tired than usual. If you find waking difficult you could also try a light up/ sunrise alarm clock. It's a much more natural way to wake and works supprisingly well. You can find them for like £15 on amazon.
Try to involve yourself a little more with your housemates. Maybe see if they want to have a movie night or a dinner together. If you feel more comfortable with them you'll probably be more likely to spend time out of your room and in the rest of your flat.
Try to find an "active" hobby. Just anything other than netflix basically. It can be something inside or outside, it's just to try to get some variety in your life and get your brain going a bit more. Staring at a screen for so long tends to turn your brain to mush and make you tired.
See if you can spend some more time with your friends. Maybe invite them for lunch or a film or something. Just however much you feel comfortable with.

Hope some of that helps and that you start to feel more comfortable and get out more :smile:
In all seriousness, no. I did that from the age of fourteen right up until I was seventeen. I didn't realise, but at the time I was suffering with depression and I just so happened to have a lazy personality - what a terrible f*cking combination :lol:

It's a difficult rut to get out of, but I have honestly never felt more better. I have more energy, I don't have insomnia, people actually want to hang out with me, etc. If you don't have the motivation to get yourself out the best thing you can do is be around people all the time so you can't sneak under those covers and hide
Original post by ShannyMorrison
In all seriousness, no. I did that from the age of fourteen right up until I was seventeen. I didn't realise, but at the time I was suffering with depression and I just so happened to have a lazy personality - what a terrible f*cking combination :lol:

It's a difficult rut to get out of, but I have honestly never felt more better. I have more energy, I don't have insomnia, people actually want to hang out with me, etc. If you don't have the motivation to get yourself out the best thing you can do is be around people all the time so you can't sneak under those covers and hide


I lay in bed all the time and always feel lazy :redface:
Original post by Anonymous
No, I guess that's something I could get into. As you said before I have hardly anything to put on my CV.


PRSOM
I'm going through the exact same thing! Avoiding my housemates, and not going to lectures. :frown:

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