The Student Room Group

Can you love someone but want to be single?

Boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me saying he doesn't know what he wants.. kinda wants a relationship but kinda wants to be single. But he also said he loves me? I don't get it?
Reply 1
Is it possible to love someone with whom you aren't romantically involved? There's your answer: he loves you, but he's no longer in love with you.
He's probably going through some stuff and confusing him, give him some time to get bread together. He might just need some time alone.
Reply 3
Of course. He either loves you but feels too pressured or stressed to be with you right now, or is telling you he loves you still because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Even when you break up with someone you loved (unless they did something awful), you still love them in your heart.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me saying he doesn't know what he wants. kinda wants a relationship but kinda wants to be single. But he also said he loves me? I don't get it?


Hey,

Love (intimate) relationship first of all. It's weird though because if you are 'in love' with someone you want to be there, in a relationship and you know, all the mutual intimate stuff that comes with it.

What the person has put you in is a bit of a paradox - he wants to feel something but not be close enough to feel it. I think he wants to break up but doesn't want to hurt you. Also, maybe saying what he did makes it that all the more romantically complex.
How old are you if you don't mind my asking? and is this your first relationship? I think you are maybe 18 and you are in your first or second relationship.

You haven't given much more information so I'm really trying to read what's going on but emotions can be complex and a lot of variables in this equation are missing.

But to answer your question ' Can you love someone but want to be single?' - Yes. Love is total selfLESSNESS. You want to give all that you can for that person's betterment and that doesn't have to be a relationship. I hope my opinion helped :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by sm757
Hey,

Love (intimate) relationship first of all. It's weird though because if you are 'in love' with someone you want to be there, in a relationship and you know, all the mutual intimate stuff that comes with it.

What the person has put you in is a bit of a paradox - he wants to feel something but not be close enough to feel it. I think he wants to break up but doesn't want to hurt you. Also, maybe saying what he did makes it that all the more romantically complex.
How old are you if you don't mind my asking? and is this your first relationship? I think you are maybe 18 and you are in your first or second relationship.

You haven't given much more information so I'm really trying to read what's going on but emotions can be complex and a lot of variables in this equation are missing.

But to answer your question ' Can you love someone but want to be single?' - Yes. Love is total selfLESSNESS. You want to give all that you can for that person's betterment and that doesn't have to be a relationship. I hope my opinion helped :smile:


Thanks for your reply. I am 22 and he is 25, this is his first serious relationship... before me he had been used to the single life. I've had a few relationships but none that have lasted all that long.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for your reply. I am 22 and he is 25, this is his first serious relationship... before me he had been used to the single life. I've had a few relationships but none that have lasted all that long.


Hey again, Miss Anonymous,

Thanks for writing back.
snap, I'm 22!
If you don't mind my asking, why do you think those relationships didn't last? What are the foundations of the relationship and were its adhesive properties sufficient for holding the relationship together? The answer isn't for me to hear but for you to see if there is a trend that leads to the relationships going sour :smile:.
I'm not saying that the next example is true but consider, for example, I met my significant other (SF) on a night out and we slept together and got in a relationship. The foundation of that relationship in on and around sex. But a relationship is comprised of communication, compassion, (healthy) conflict, affirmation, encouragement, teamwork, friendship and trust and so many other ''needs''. Some needs work better than others as foundations. Is your foundation solid?

Okay regarding the man in your life. I think it could be that he his nervous or not quite ready - what are you looking for in this relationship? You used the word ' serious', is he after the same thing? If not, there is the tendency for one party to feel pressured which is never healthy :smile:
IMO, make sure you aren't projecting too much on him... love isn't forceful.
" flowers are beautiful but you hold it too tight and it can get crushed "
- someone famous
Reply 7
Girls do it all the time by friendzoning guys, so yes it's possible
(edited 7 years ago)

Quick Reply

Latest