The Student Room Group

Help - Confused!

So, about a month ago I met this guy at college (he enrolled late). Basically, we've been getting on really well and have been messaging each other for several hours a day and we've really got to know each other well. We also talk a bit at college too. He has a girl friend who he's been with for a couple of years and I think that he's straight (he hasn't said otherwise). I'm bi, and in the last week or two I've began to develop some feelings. I know we can't know for sure what he thinks/feels, but I've been trying to work out if he feels at all in the same way. I do kinda doubt it though. Here are a few things that have happened:

- He is constantly looking at me in lessons. I'll be writing or something and I'll look up and he'll be already looking at me. We then make eye contact for several seconds and he smiles. I tend to be the one who breaks the eye contact first. This has happened a couple of times.
- We message for hours on end even when he says he's with his friends. It varies who starts the conversation first through messaging. He comes up to me at college.
- He accidentally touched my leg when he reached for his bag when he was sat next to me. (I suspect it was a genuine accident though. Just thought I'd add it because of the other stuff).
- He's asked me numerous times if I've noticed anything about anyone in the class we're both in.
- He once dropped into a conversation that he has gay friends and how he's okay with that.
- I pointed out how he says a certain word a lot and he asks if it annoys me and he'll stop if it does.

That's pretty much all I can think of for now, I'll let you all know if anything else happens / I remember more. I've tried to be as vague as possible incase he uses these forums. Now, I doubt he does think of me like that and I might just be over reading the signs so let me know what you think. Thank you :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
So, about a month ago I met this guy at college (he enrolled late). Basically, we've been getting on really well and have been messaging each other for several hours a day and we've really got to know each other well. We also talk a bit at college too. He has a girl friend who he's been with for a couple of years and I think that he's straight (he hasn't said otherwise). I'm bi, and in the last week or two I've began to develop some feelings. I know we can't know for sure what he thinks/feels, but I've been trying to work out if he feels at all in the same way. I do kinda doubt it though. Here are a few things that have happened:

- He is constantly looking at me in lessons. I'll be writing or something and I'll look up and he'll be already looking at me. We then make eye contact for several seconds and he smiles. I tend to be the one who breaks the eye contact first. This has happened a couple of times.
- We message for hours on end even when he says he's with his friends. It varies who starts the conversation first through messaging. He comes up to me at college.
- He accidentally touched my leg when he reached for his bag when he was sat next to me. (I suspect it was a genuine accident though. Just thought I'd add it because of the other stuff).
- He's asked me numerous times if I've noticed anything about anyone in the class we're both in.
- He once dropped into a conversation that he has gay friends and how he's okay with that.
- I pointed out how he says a certain word a lot and he asks if it annoys me and he'll stop if it does.

That's pretty much all I can think of for now, I'll let you all know if anything else happens / I remember more. I've tried to be as vague as possible incase he uses these forums. Now, I doubt he does think of me like that and I might just be over reading the signs so let me know what you think. Thank you :smile:


Obviously you've summarised it/ we can't get the wording of it, but him saying that he has gay friends and is okay with that could either be a hint or borderline patronising. :s-smilie:

It's difficult because he has a girlfriend but I guess he might be unsure or not particularly faithful...

Like you said, no one can be 100% sure but I'd say from your point of view it seems like there is something there. :smile:
Unfortunately with a situation like this there is no way to know for definite whether he likes you or not apart from actually asking him. All of the things you've said he's done could be signs he likes you, but they could just be him being a friend to you.
Maybe try to find out if he is definitely straight somehow either from him or through a mutual friend, so you can know if you even have a chance.
His having a girlfriend might be cause for concern, because if he does like you then he might be having thoughts about being unfaithful to his girlfriend, and you'd have to ask yourself if you'd want to be with someone like that.
I know for me when I like someone I overexagerate everything they do and twist it to make it feel like they like me, when in actual fact they're pretty indifferent. You should make sure that thi isn't what's happening to you before trying to make a move, because if he doesn't like you you'll be in for a lot of embarrasment and there is the potential of ruining the friendship.

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