The Student Room Group

Don't know what I want out of us or even if she likes me

I'm 18, a virgin and I have worked with a girl for about a year and over the last few months I've developed a crush on her and in the last few weeks especially I've felt really close to her. She is a few years older than me but that doesn’t bother me at all.

At work I got asked to move to a new store as a promotion and said yes. The girl said she would miss me and added me on Facebook then text me to say we need to arrange a send off drink. I bought her flowers as a thank you for everything she's done for me and she hugged me and I don't think I've ever felt as close to someone as I did that moment. It was a really beautiful moment that can’t be put into words. Later on she gave me a card signed by all my colleagues and everyone signed it but unlike everyone else she left me a really long message saying she'll still be there for me and is just a phone call away. She also gave me a present and said it was from everyone but I feel like it was more from her personally as she put effort into it as it was a very specialist sort of gift based off one of my hobbies.

Anyway circumstances changed and I have been told I could stay and she would have to move. I got her a card and said in it to promise not to be a stranger and she said she would never be a stranger and hugged me again.

She left last week and she hasn't mentioned this drink that we were supposed to have and hasn't messaged since she left. I messaged her once but she took ages to reply and didn’t reply at all to one of my texts I’m hoping maybe it’s just with the stress of the new job. Although I picture myself with her sexually now and again I am very close to her and even if we are just friends I think I would be happy with that though I would like to progress our relationship. She’s a very independent woman which is a big part of why I like her. I often over think things and think I am doing same here. Does it sound like she's not interested I mean maybe she's busy with new job but I don't know? Thanks.
Reply 1
Original post by Foo.mp3
Who wants to be long distance pen pals with the girl we want to root? A: No-one

Foo-o-meter of Love: 70% probability she's not interested, but you may as well suggest that drink and see if owt comes of it, save spending God knows how long mulling/regretting never having had a crack :yy:


Its not long distance she lives in same town just moving workplace. Judging from your answer though I dont think I'll get a serious reply.
Reply 2
Original post by oZombiex2
Its not long distance she lives in same town just moving workplace. Judging from your answer though I dont think I'll get a serious reply.


You posted the same thread yesterday which had serious replies, can i ask after reading this again was she just nice to you after finding out you were leaving? and was she acting nice/over friendly before she knew you were leaving?

I'm asking because if its the former maybe she wanted to make you feel special cause you were leaving and as she is a senior colleague you probably were one of the best employees and she wanted to show you that she cared for your hard work maybe that is why she was being nice? and when she was the one leaving she wasn't as friendly maybe as when she thought you were? she could just be showing you she cared in a professional way i don't know.

Did you feel there was a vibe or hints from her that she was interested?

I would say the same thing message her again and ask her about meeting up for a drink say how you appreciated her efforts when you thought you were leaving and you wanted to return the favour as you respected her alot etc i think she will find the message sweet and thoughtful and won't ignore it (hopefully!)
Reply 3
Original post by chikane
You posted the same thread yesterday which had serious replies, can i ask after reading this again was she just nice to you after finding out you were leaving? and was she acting nice/over friendly before she knew you were leaving?

I'm asking because if its the former maybe she wanted to make you feel special cause you were leaving and as she is a senior colleague you probably were one of the best employees and she wanted to show you that she cared for your hard work maybe that is why she was being nice? and when she was the one leaving she wasn't as friendly maybe as when she thought you were? she could just be showing you she cared in a professional way i don't know.

Did you feel there was a vibe or hints from her that she was interested?

I would say the same thing message her again and ask her about meeting up for a drink say how you appreciated her efforts when you thought you were leaving and you wanted to return the favour as you respected her alot etc i think she will find the message sweet and thoughtful and won't ignore it (hopefully!)


She's always been really friendly with me I posted this again but with slight details that I had left out. I would say she was very friendly and work and we used to flirt at work but I don't think any of us knew if we were ever serious when we did it. She used to always compliment my eyes and if she ever asked me to do something I now and again used to say "you know I'm only doing this because i love you" and we often made comments like this about each other.

It's only very recent that's she been distant.
Reply 4
Original post by oZombiex2
She's always been really friendly with me I posted this again but with slight details that I had left out. I would say she was very friendly and work and we used to flirt at work but I don't think any of us knew if we were ever serious when we did it. She used to always compliment my eyes and if she ever asked me to do something I now and again used to say "you know I'm only doing this because i love you" and we often made comments like this about each other.

It's only very recent that's she been distant.


Sounds like she was interested if she was flirty and complimenting you i dont understand how you both didnt do stuff outside of work even 'hey want to grab lunch' or would you want a coffee? even adding her on fb and you would have got to know her a bit more and have more stuff to talk about.

Just try once more if she ignores it then leave it and its up to her whether she replies back dont keep messaging as it shows clingyness.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by chikane
Sounds like she was interested if she was flirty and complimenting you i dont understand how you both didnt do stuff outside of work even 'hey want to grab lunch' or would you want a coffee? even adding her on fb and you would have got to know her a bit more and have more stuff to talk about.

Just try once more if she ignores it then leave it and its up to her whether she replies back dont keep messaging as it shows clingyness.


I've only sent one message and that was a few days ago I'm worried about being clingy.

I never asked her out outside of work mainly because I worried what people would think and it's only recent that we've got this close.It's hard to know if it was proper flirting since it was happening all the time and I think we both took it as just workplace banter but maybe we both feel the same i don't know. I'm friends with her on facebook now though so balls in my court as they say so up to me to make it happen I guess. Thanks for all your help.
Reply 6
Original post by oZombiex2
I've only sent one message and that was a few days ago I'm worried about being clingy.

I never asked her out outside of work mainly because I worried what people would think and it's only recent that we've got this close.It's hard to know if it was proper flirting since it was happening all the time and I think we both took it as just workplace banter but maybe we both feel the same i don't know. I'm friends with her on facebook now though so balls in my court as they say so up to me to make it happen I guess. Thanks for all your help.


Where i worked in retail there were people hanging out with supervisors and no one batted an eyelid they were friends. What message did you send her? if she isnt replying back then the ball is in her court yes you can ask her out for drinks but its up to her to accept or even reply.
Reply 7
Original post by chikane
Where i worked in retail there were people hanging out with supervisors and no one batted an eyelid they were friends. What message did you send her? if she isnt replying back then the ball is in her court yes you can ask her out for drinks but its up to her to accept or even reply.


It was work related my text. I text asking for rota then few minutes later text back saying not to worry I had found it and I put a lol at the end. I was sorta expecting her to reply with a haha or something at least. I'm gonna a text her tomorrow though and ask her how the job is going.

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