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Secondhand love

I have 2 ex-girlfriend. They were 5 years ago.
And this year I started a new relationship with another girl. I love her very much. I wanted the relationship to last as long as I could possibly do. She is a nice girl, however she gets angry over little things too quickly.

And recently she told me that she had never wanted to find a secondhand guy, and I am third hand. I feel really down, I tried to make her realize that her words hurt and I hope she would take it back, but she didn't.

Yes, the fact is that I am a third hand. I learn from my previous relationship to treasure my significant other more. I love her as much as I could. My love my affection my sincerity doesnt deserved being called a third hand. May I know is being second or thirdhand is less valuable than first hand? Also is there any ways to let her realize?
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Cherish03
Original post by marcuskhoo
I have 2 ex-girlfriend. They were 5 years ago.
And this year I started a new relationship with another girl. I love her very much. I wanted the relationship to last as long as I could possibly do. She is a nice girl, however she gets angry over little things too quickly.

And recently she told me that she had never wanted to find a secondhand guy, and I am third hand. I feel really down, I tried to make her realize that her words hurt and I hope she would take it back, but she didn't.

Yes, the fact is that I am a third hand. I learn from my previous relationship to treasure my significant other more. I love her as much as I could. My love my affection my sincerity doesnt deserved being called a third hand. May I know is being second or thirdhand is less valuable than first hand? Also is there any ways to let her realize?


You would need to communicate this to her if it really bothers you. Being called second/third hand can make you feel like your not good enough or that she has had better. If this is how you feel, then you will have to discuss this with her. If she does not understand how this makes you feel or quickly gets angry after you have tried to explain how her words hurt you, then maybe she is not right for you. But the thing is, she can't change the fact that you're not the first person she fell in love with but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you (or doesn't love you yet). You mentioned that your last relationship was 5 years ago and this relationship just started, so give this new relationship some time as it's still early days. Hopefully, over time she would grow to love you for who you are and maybe love you more than her first/second hand. You seem like you really like her and if you feel your relationship is worth it to you, then try to work things out. But if her words hurt you, you should address this with her.


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