She feels uncomfortable around me?

Hey all.

Long story short i met a girl around 6 weeks ago, she came down to see me around 4-5 times since then, we got along really well but she was in a long distance relationship with someone half way up the country.

When we were together in the pub i would touch her hand, kiss her on the cheek at times, stroke her arm and she would never, ever pull away or show any sign to me that she felt uncomfortable with these things...and after a few drinks she would come sit next to me and put her head on my shoulder and cuddle up to me on the train taking her back home now.

Anyway moving forward, her LDR collapsed and i thought i was well in..turns out i was wrong she had sex with a guy up north and as i have now found out is interested in him..i genuinely thought she saw me as more than a friend.

Anyway, apparently she doesn't...we met up last week and i admit i had a tough time with just being a mate and nothing more and i was blunt and pretty much a prick the whole time, she hated it and messaged me to say it's the right time to say i felt uncomfortable around you a lot during our meets..but since then we are back on terms with each other.

So i arranged to meet on my birthday this week, she wants to which is all great but she dropped this to me today "Oh btw on Friday, i would appreciate it if you remember what i said about being uncomfortable or i will just go home"

Now this made me feel like an awful person, i'm not..at all and i am offended that she said this and i'm now debating about seeing her.

What do you guys think? i genuinely believed she didn't mind how i was with her, there was in my eyes no indication of awkwardness..no pulling away and no telling me to stop.

She probably felt uncomfortable because you were blunt and acting rude to her which she didn't like maybe that's why she said that. Also think you should also stop touching her as she is with someone else I think she was being polite by not pushing you away but as she isn't interested you should back off.

I should clarify, when she said she felt uncomfortable she was talking about our previous meets where everything went fine..she met up with me on 4 separate occasions and always came to me..she could not of felt that uncomfortable or she would not keep seeing me.

Yes i admit i was being a bit unfair touching her when she was in a LDR but i can't read her mind, she never pulled away or said anything, but after this argument we had in the pub she messaged me a few days later listing the things that made her feel uncomfortable "touching my hand, kissing my cheek"

I'm now debating about seeing her in a few days, she has made me feel like a pervert or a bad person when i'm really not.

Pffffft if she really did feel uncomfortable then she wouldn't have leaned her head on you and whatnot.I don't blame you for being pissed off after all that stuff tbh. It sounds like she was just stringing you along. But then again maybe she's just like that? As in, it's just in her nature to be all up close and personal with people. How is she with other guy friends? Does she cuddle up to them as well?

And I guess it's up to you whether you wanna see her on your birthday. I mean are you sure you wanna be around someone like her? Idk it must be pretty hard if you like her. Sorry about your situation

I'll be honest I would tell her to do one ask her why she never said no and why she kept meeting up with you.
You want more than friendship she doesn't so just tell her to stay away you don't need her bringing you down.

To be honest with you i have never seen her around other guys so i have no point of reference there, we have always met one on one and even though she was in a long distance relationship at the time i was convinced she was interested in me.

i mean don't get me wrong, when she has had a few drinks this is when she would lean her head on me and stuff like that so i would not say it's pure sober behaviour, i was a bit of a **** to her on our last meet because i felt like someone else was chosen over me..petty it was but i was that sure she was into me and it got to me.

Ever since then we have not been the same, after i found out she had sex with that guy up north i told her how i felt about her..i personally thought she knew but she said she didn't..i'm sure i was pretty obvious.

At first she turned down the meet with me as she was upset with me and wasnt sure about seeing me again after what happened last time, yesterday she randomly messaged me to say she can meet if i want and then tonight i get that message from her..it just made me feel like a bad person and i'm unsure of meeting her now, i can take just being friends but i did not like that message, she told me once i did not need to be reminded.

I say if you can put your feelings aside and still be mates and you're both okay with that then it's cool. But if you're gonna have feelings for her while she's with someone else it's just gonna be torture for you. I thought that message she sent was quite harsh at first, but as a girl myself I can actually understand that she's just trying to be clear and straight up with you (although she could have said it in a nicer way).

It's important to remember women are social - cunning - creatures; they don't warm to you, they warm to the reactions you provoke in other people. If other women want you, she wants you. Here's your issue: she doesn't want you, she wants you to want her.

1. It's already finished. It was finished the moment she slept with someone else, and you couldn't - rightly...biologically - get over it. You want to have sex with her...you're programmed to want to have sex with her. After decades worth of exposure to Hollywood films, gender feminism and mainstream media propaganda, you're about to convince yourself you can 'just be friends.' You can't be, you shouldn't be, you never will be.

2. She knows how your instincts work (all women do) and she knows what these signals mean, and she toyed and teased them. She will declare innocence (they often do, or turn it around on you), but you don't lean on a single guy, or cuddle a single guy, without being aware of what it means. Since the age of 13 she has, alongside her friends, been studying everything men do; she knows the dynamic, she knows what she's doing.

Do you want me to sum up what she's doing? It's called attention.