The Student Room Group

I messed up badly

How can I bounce back from this? Met up this girl through a friend and we got talking on FB. She was being really flirty and chatty to me but I thought she was just being friendly. A few weeks later my friend tells me this girl has had a crush on me so I thought I could see where things could go. I kept talking to her in the next few days and then I asked her to hang out with me, but then she says she's not interested in me anymore.

I don't get it, finally when I catch feelings for her, she loses feelings for me and I was so dumb to miss some obvious signs. She is a really nice girl too and I feel that I screwed up so badly to miss out on a girl like that. I don't know what to do; I feel worthless.
Reply 1
carry on talking to her n hanging out with her, and show her some signs that ur interested in her but if she seems to really not be interested then theres no point wasting any more time
Reply 2
and its not the end of the world you're NOT worthless
Reply 3
Original post by lily.b9
carry on talking to her n hanging out with her, and show her some signs that ur interested in her but if she seems to really not be interested then theres no point wasting any more time


Original post by lily.b9
and its not the end of the world you're NOT worthless


hi thanks for your answer.

I don't want to put any more effort because she told me she doesnt' like me anymore. I need help moving on because I feel sick to the stomach on what a complete idiot I have been to miss out on a girl. It''s been about 5 or 6 years since a girl was last interested in me, do you know how much this has hurt me :frown:
Reply 4
she told you straight up she doesn't like you? in that case don't bother chasing her if she's already made up her mind, don't think of it as u screwed up - if she doesn't want you then there's nothing you can do about that but that doesn't mean its all bad news go out chat to new people you're bound to find a lovely girl that does want you :biggrin: if u dont mind me asking how old are you?
Reply 5
Original post by lily.b9
she told you straight up she doesn't like you? in that case don't bother chasing her if she's already made up her mind, don't think of it as u screwed up - if she doesn't want you then there's nothing you can do about that but that doesn't mean its all bad news go out chat to new people you're bound to find a lovely girl that does want you :biggrin: if u dont mind me asking how old are you?


Haha cool I'm 21 though, had a long history of bad encounters with girls so this one obviously hits home really hard
Original post by Anonymous
hi thanks for your answer.

I don't want to put any more effort because she told me she doesnt' like me anymore. I need help moving on because I feel sick to the stomach on what a complete idiot I have been to miss out on a girl. It''s been about 5 or 6 years since a girl was last interested in me, do you know how much this has hurt me :frown:


Pardon me. It's difficult for me to understand why because it's been 5 or 6 years since a girl was last interested in you, that this has hurt you, and not only that, hurt you very much? I can't get my head around that fact. Why?
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Haha cool I'm 21 though, had a long history of bad encounters with girls so this one obviously hits home really hard


ur only 21? wtf i thought u were like 30 haha ik you probably find it really upsetting rn but dont sweat the small stuff especially while you're so young
Reply 8
Original post by Kiritsugu
Pardon me. It's difficult for me to understand why because it's been 5 or 6 years since a girl was last interested in you, that this has hurt you, and not only that, hurt you very much? I can't get my head around that fact. Why?


Because I have low confidence and the fact that girls are rarely interested in me means I don't get many chances like this. I thought this could go somewhere but I messed up, now what, it could be another 6 years before a girl likes me.
Original post by Anonymous
Because I have low confidence and the fact that girls are rarely interested in me means I don't get many chances like this. I thought this could go somewhere but I messed up, now what, it could be another 6 years before a girl likes me.


Hmm... Perhaps the truth has been revealed here. Maybe, because you have low confidence, that you think girls are rarely interested in you. I honestly don't think you "messed up" as such, that badly, because if she was really interested in you she would have held her end too and not sort of "back" out in the last second - on the other hand she may have been following her gut intuition, that because you didn't notice her earlier signs, she got disinterested.

I think you should increase your confidence and show girls that you're interested in them also, without always expecting them to be interested in you (assuming that is what you do, do, to some extent).
Reply 10
Original post by Kiritsugu
Hmm... Perhaps the truth has been revealed here. Maybe, because you have low confidence, that you think girls are rarely interested in you. I honestly don't think you "messed up" as such, that badly, because if she was really interested in you she would have held her end too and not sort of "back" out in the last second - on the other hand she may have been following her gut intuition, that because you didn't notice her earlier signs, she got disinterested.

I think you should increase your confidence and show girls that you're interested in them also, without always expecting them to be interested in you (assuming that is what you do, do, to some extent).


wise words, preach
Original post by Anonymous
Because I have low confidence and the fact that girls are rarely interested in me means I don't get many chances like this. I thought this could go somewhere but I messed up, now what, it could be another 6 years before a girl likes me.


You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on your insecurities and confidence, go to the gym, get a haircut, get some new clothes. If you look good you will feel good and your confidence will improve and girls will be attracted to you. Go out and meet people, this girl was interested in you but girls want boys to pursue them and she wasn't getting signs back from you so moved on thats life.
Original post by Anonymous
How can I bounce back from this? Met up this girl through a friend and we got talking on FB. She was being really flirty and chatty to me but I thought she was just being friendly. A few weeks later my friend tells me this girl has had a crush on me so I thought I could see where things could go. I kept talking to her in the next few days and then I asked her to hang out with me, but then she says she's not interested in me anymore.

I don't get it, finally when I catch feelings for her, she loses feelings for me and I was so dumb to miss some obvious signs. She is a really nice girl too and I feel that I screwed up so badly to miss out on a girl like that. I don't know what to do; I feel worthless.


She liked you because she didnt know enough about you hence a crush.
Once she found out enough about you, then there wasnt enough attractive qualities for her. Too slow, not enough confidence, not communicating well enough.

The bit you dont get is that her feelings werent very strong, thats what a crush is, its more in the other persons head and they dont know you.

Moving on to the worthless thing and feeling sorry for yourself, then the other above have all pointed out what you need to do. Take actions that help you get out of the situation, stop feeling sad and use it as an opportunity to make yourself a more attractive proposition or at least a happier person.
Original post by chikane
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on your insecurities and confidence, go to the gym, get a haircut, get some new clothes. If you look good you will feel good and your confidence will improve and girls will be attracted to you. Go out and meet people, this girl was interested in you but girls want boys to pursue them and she wasn't getting signs back from you so moved on thats life.


Original post by 999tigger
She liked you because she didnt know enough about you hence a crush.
Once she found out enough about you, then there wasnt enough attractive qualities for her. Too slow, not enough confidence, not communicating well enough.

The bit you dont get is that her feelings werent very strong, thats what a crush is, its more in the other persons head and they dont know you.

Moving on to the worthless thing and feeling sorry for yourself, then the other above have all pointed out what you need to do. Take actions that help you get out of the situation, stop feeling sad and use it as an opportunity to make yourself a more attractive proposition or at least a happier person.



Excellent posts.

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