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My flatmate doesn't know how to wash up.

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At least hes doing the washing up! The other girl in my flat leaves her pans for days, uses other peoples and leaves them too. Then complains about the smell in the kitchen (from her pans) or criticises other peoples cleaning! You'd expect better from a postgrad thats been in the halls situation before. She did finally wash them up when we cleaned everythin but her pans in the kitchen and constantly referred to how long the kitchen cleaning had taken - took a few hours for it to register still!

Reply 21

ellabella

OP - if i were you i'd ask him not to use my stuff, if he doesnt mind eating off dirty plates that's his own problem

Reply 22

Eubacterium

The Strangest Quark

Yes, let's randomly start having a go at people. I love the internet.

You're not one to talk by always having a go at your flatmate, you should learn to mind your own business and leave him alone. I couldn't stand to live with someone like you. Anyway I wasn't having a go at you, I was criticising you, but by your behaviour towards your flatmate I can see you're someone who likes to think they're always right.

Reply 23

Eubacterium

made_of_fail

eubacterium is just a reetard. she got a 2:2 see

tsr is pretty innocuous actually.

Yes I got a degree and proud of it. A lot better than being made of fail and calling random people re*tards If you're going to criticise people come up with something more intelligible.

Reply 24

Freckely Tim

Just tell him that women find a man who can wash up well really sexy(could someone female back me up on that, to avoid looking like a total berk?!) . He'll be buying textbooks on it then.

Reply 25

Celifein

Freckely Tim

Just tell him that women find a man who can wash up well really sexy(could someone female back me up on that, to avoid looking like a total berk?!).

It's something about the marigolds. Ooooh, and the bubbles.

Seriously, no, it's not something girls typically consider sexy.

Reply 26

loopymeg

Freckely Tim

Just tell him that women find a man who can wash up well really sexy(could someone female back me up on that, to avoid looking like a total berk?!) . He'll be buying textbooks on it then.

I wouldn't say that it's sexy.... Although it can definitely be seen as a good thing! The guy would definitely earn some brownie points ;yes; :wink:

Reply 27

Vohamanah

I do sympathise. My boyfriend is a domestic flop as well. He thinks running something under cold water means it is clean and was rather bemused when I bought disinfectant to clean the kitchen surfaces.

But you do come across as being rather snobbish. I mean, limescale rings?!

when asked what he thought would happen if it was left covered in cheese, looked totally blank

It is patronising to ask that, surely. Just tell him that if it doesn't get cleaned it will go mouldy. You don't need to spring a pop quiz on him.

Reply 28

fuzzyduck

peninsula

ffs! how is this affecting u??? u seem very stuck up to be honest. if him not washing dishes correctly is such a hugeee problem then buy your own and let him get on with his own thing. god. bully.

It affects her because the kitchen is filthy, and if she's paying accommodation fees which include the use of a kitchen, it's not fair of other people to leave it in a state.

I think the only thing you can really do is carry on doing what you are doing. Some people have accused you of being patronising, but seriously, I think people like that deserve to be patronised! He's clearly had his mother do everything for him all his life. Guys like that think they can go straight from being looked after by their mothers to being looked after by their wives, but women nowadays are not going to want to be with a guy they have to constantly look after. So if you can reform him into some vaguely functional human being by the end of the year, you'll be doing him and yourselves a massive favour.

Don't just give up and do it for him though, because then you'll be doing it all year.

Reply 29

fuzzyduck

Freckely Tim

Just tell him that women find a man who can wash up well really sexy(could someone female back me up on that, to avoid looking like a total berk?!) . He'll be buying textbooks on it then.

My ex is much better at housework than me. He thinks me and my housemates are lazy because we have a dishwasher. I definitely used to make sure the kitchen was clean when he was coming over!

Reply 30

CheesyBeans

HJV

Alternatively, she could just leave the dirty dishes on the side of the sink, not inside it. I always leave my dishes on the table after eating and wash them up in a few hours, when I feel like it. Everyone in my flat does this...

It's not like you should expect people to wash every single plate and glass and spoon and fork and bowl and knife and cup and pan and pot straight after using them.

The longer you leave plates though, the harder it is to clean them (depending on what you've eaten of course)

I used to always leave it a while before doing my washing up but now, unless I'm in a rush, I will wash my plate etc soon after I have finished eating. It's better than leaving it and having to scrub hard, left over bits of foo off everything later on when I can be arsed to do it.

A couple of us in my house complained to another about him leaving his dirty plates everywhere and in the end he just started putting dirty plates back in the cupboards :rolleyes:

Reply 31

The Strangest Quark

toothpastecrazy

Leave the guy alone!

Does it really matter? I mean ... honestly, limescale rings on the plates?! The tragedy of it! Perhaps you need to get in touch with reality yourself? :wink:

You making a big deal of it probably makes the guy feel bad. Have you never been in a situation where you don't know how to do something?

There's no need to "impose" anything on him, surely? If it's his washing up liquid and his plates then can't you just let him get on with it? If you're sharing things ... then ... well, it's a hazard of communal living, isn't it?

Besides, isn't it kind of unrealistic to expect every studenty boy to care about hygeine?

I'm not meaning to have a go at you, by the way ... I just seem to have gone on a bit!

I'm probably sensitive because I usually wash up by squirting individual things with washing up liquid and then running them under the tap ... sometimes using my hands rather than a sponge. To be fair, I'm half forced into it because my flatmates leave so much stuff in the sink ... but ... you know.

I find it weird that everyone assumes I'm nagging the poor guy. I try not to have to confront him about it but it's sometimes pretty difficult, like when last week he asked me how you cook rice. I tried to explain and show him, but also didn't want to seem patronising because tbh cooking rice is fairly self-explanatory, as well as there being instructions on the packet, only to come back a little later and find him stood by the cooker looking worried next to what turned out to be a pan of burning rice. With cooking, it usually suffices to keep half an eye on him so he can ask for help when something catches fire, or preferably before.

One of my other flatmates sometimes loses patience with him though, it was him who had a go at him about mouldy cheese.

It's really perplexing because he must be fairly bright to be at Oxford, but all of his knowledge seems to be totally abstract. Talking to him is also almost impossible, as he tends to respond to most attempts at conversation with either a monosyllabic answer or a volley of 'sorry, thankyou, sorry, thankyou'. Except, oddly, a few days when he has leapt into the living room shouting 'Hi guys!' and proceeded to bounce around grinning, then flicked bits of carrot across the table whilst eating dinner with strange glee. Odd fellow.

Reply 32

Lulu87

lol, i know you're looking for advice but this made me laugh as i have a housemate who's SO similar to the person you described. at the end of the day he'll end up having to eat off dirty plates and stuff all the time, and as time goes by he will learn. as for the mess he makes all over surfaces just keep asking him to do it. as peopl have probably already said on here he's probably used to someone doing everything for him. he'll soon learn that at uni no one's gonna do that for him.