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What to say to someone terminally ill?

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    I was told this week that someone I grew up with only has a few weeks left (Brain tumor). He's 21, I used to be in school with him, see him every day when I was younger... I can't get home for a couple of weeks, and so my mum has suggested I send him a card. I found an absolutely lovely one in Clintons, with the perfect verse. But I went to sign it.. And I don't know how. Is just saying "Robert, love Kim" enough?? Should I put something more personal in there? He means alot to me, always has, and I'm struggling with this.
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    "I wish you all the best"?
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    "That's a bit **** mate" or similar.

    I try to avoid trite comment (^) or overwhelming sympathy. A bit of cynical realism seems to work.
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    Well if it already has the perfect verse on it, just something like "thinking of you" or something? I don't know :/
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    (Original post by FoeGeddaBowDeet)
    well, at least it's not the aids!
    ooooooooooooooooooh someone will neg rep you for that!:eek:


    "Heard the **** news. If you ever need to chat, hears my number/email addy."
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    How about "I'll be there for you, if you need to someone to talk with give me a ring and I'll be right over?" If the verse is perfect enough you probably won't have to write anything much at all.
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    (Original post by FoeGeddaBowDeet)
    well, at least it's not the aids!
    lol

    I didnt know we could get cards for the terminally ill.
    Stuff the card, what are you spose to say "have a happy death"?

    Why dont you go meet him and do some reminiscing or something not so morbid, forget about the fact he may die anyway, just act normal. I'm sure the last thing he wants is ppl acting weird around him.
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    He can't walk, he can't talk, I've no idea how much worse he's got over the past couple of days. The hospital is closed to visitors at the moment who aren't immediate family because of a virus going round, and due to deadlines I can't leave uni anyway (its a 5 hour journey home). It's the only way I feel like I can contact him. And as for "cards for the terminally ill" there was about 2 cards in Clinton's with cardboard tabs saying "suitable for the terminally ill", rather than a "get well soon" card.
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    i hope youre doing ok.
    this is really hard. i think the only thing i could think of is - you will always be in my heart?
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    leave a quote....

    to cheer him up. or have hope.
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    say how brilliant you've always thought he is. or something religious if suitable.
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    I will really miss you, mate, and I say that with all honesty. If you need to talk I'll be here for you. God bless.

    Or something?
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    hmmm... hard one. I'd say something like, 'I wish you all the best".
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    I'm rubbish at these sorts of things- one of the hardest things I've ever had to do was send a card to my friend's parents after he died. I'd just put 'thinking of you' and send your love, then visit hom if you can when you get home.
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    Just think how you feel, and write it down?
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    OK, so the verse is perfect?

    I'd write:

    Dear Robert,

    [Verse bit]

    I will always remember you, and I am glad I was lucky enough to know you.

    Love always, Kim.

    Even if he is unable to read it, it will be conforting to his family to know that he was loved by other people and his peers.

    How very very sad.
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    some of your proposed comments are just ridiculous.

    "I wish you all the best" wtf :rolleyes:

    "that's a bit **** mate"

    "i hope you're doing ok"

    wish him all the best, for what?

    yes, i'm sure he is fully aware of how '****' is current predicament is and looks..

    yes, he's doing ok, he's only 21 and has only a couple of weeks left to live :rolleyes:

    come on guys, you can't be serious.

    To the OP. Evidently you're not 'that' close to the unfortunate bloke in question, as you can't get home to him, hence only being able to send him a card. If you were close, you'd see him in person. So do really need to be particularly personal with regards to a comment in the card? I would keep the comment, perhaps, conservative, just say, "although we have drifted apart since our high school years, i have fond memories of our time spent during school, in which i was fortunate enough to get to know you well on a personal basis. Lots of love....xxxx

    something like that?

    but 'hope you're doing well' - i mean, ffs :rolleyes
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    (Original post by piiiink)
    there was about 2 cards in Clinton's with cardboard tabs saying "suitable for the terminally ill", rather than a "get well soon" card.
    Hm... didn't know they made those. What do they say?
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    You know, the best thing you can say and do is think about times you were both happy together and write about that. A card doesn't have to have a 'greeting' on it, as it were, but in a situation like that anything that might fall into a 'greeting' category seems so uncomfortably trite as to seem useless. Write how you feel and remember the good times. It gives at least your connection with the person some reason and purpose. That, I think, is important for the pair of you?

    Best of luck with whatever you choose.
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    (Original post by piiiink)
    He can't walk, he can't talk, I've no idea how much worse he's got over the past couple of days. The hospital is closed to visitors at the moment who aren't immediate family because of a virus going round, and due to deadlines I can't leave uni anyway (its a 5 hour journey home). It's the only way I feel like I can contact him. And as for "cards for the terminally ill" there was about 2 cards in Clinton's with cardboard tabs saying "suitable for the terminally ill", rather than a "get well soon" card.
    should there be a "get well soon" card for a terminally ill person?

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Updated: December 9, 2007
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