Living with boyfriend at uni

Hi, i know there are other threads about living at home whilst at uni, but i was wondering if anyone on here could tell me what it is like, and do they think it's a good idea?
I live with my boyfriend atm, and i obv want to stay living with him, but we don't want to move because we really like the place we live in. So i would want to drive into uni (about 40 min drive). Is it harder to make friends if you don't live in halls? I'm not bothered about going out all the time or anything (even if i did live in halls i wouldn't go out a lot, maybe 1-2 times a week) but i'd just like to know if other people have done this, and what are their views on it.
Thankyou :smile:

Reply 1

dita_parlo

I live with my boyfriend and I've been fine with making friends and stuff, in my first year we only went out once/twice a week but that was more than enough for us! Obviously, I think it's a good idea cos it's worked alright for me :smile:

If you like the place you live in, and you like being with your boyfriend, then I don't think you need to move to halls, you will make friends, and it doesn't sound like you would be interested in the party all the time lifestyle anyway! Good luck :biggrin:

Reply 2

randomgirl

It's been fine for me.

If you want to make friends just make an effort to befriend people in your seminars/talk to people in lectures etc. Also join some societies if you fancy it. If it's what you want, and things between you and your boyfriend are going well, go for it. :smile:

Reply 3

little_libertine

i plan to do that as well. me and my boyfriend are not liveing together yet. i am worried about missing out on all the uni fun tho...

Reply 4

Callipygian

I'm going in halls in the first year even though its the same uni as my boyfriend, we'll move in together in the second year, but i'd rather go to halls and get to meet people etc it will be fun to have friends who aren't taking my subject.

Reply 5

Peanut42

I plan on living in halls the first year then moving in with my boyfriend, but the problem is although (hopefully!) we'll be at the same uni, we're on different campuses which are about 45 minutes apart. I'm worried about having to travel all that distance each day, and missing out on social stuff.

(all this is 2 years away even if it does happen! I like to worry :smile:

)

Reply 6

FadeToBlackout

You'll need to be very specific, though, about times when you need to work so that he doesn't feel left out (assuming he's workign and you're studying). For example, you'll need to let him know that, sometimes, you'll have to do uni work in the evenings or at other times, or that when it's closer to a deadline you might not be able to see him as much as you'd like. Investigate how much time your travel and study, plus university socialising, is going to take and let him know before you start. He'll need to realise that, sometimes, he'll need to be making you coffee and being supportive.

You might also need to look into the financial side. Assuming he's working, they'll take his income into account when assessing you, and so you might not get as much money as students who are with their parents or who are assessed as individuals.

Reply 7

starsilver

Aw i'm glad to hear from people who've done it and have found it works! Dita_parlo and random girl, how far away from uni do you live? (how long does it take you to get there?)
I would like to join a couple of societies, i think that would be my main way of socialising... depends what they have at the uni, and how often they meet up etc. I know i'll probs have less time with my boyfriend due to work/travel etc but i love living with him, and i think i'd be happier staying with him than being in halls!
When i'm applying for loans etc will they assess me on mine and my boyfriends current combined salary even though when i'm at uni i obv won't have a full time job like i do now?

Reply 8

dita_parlo

I live about 30-40 mins drive away from uni.
With regards to loans, I always assumed that if you have been living away from home for 3 years then they will look at both your combined salarys for the year, if not they look at your parents? But I'm not 100% sure on that fact!

Reply 9

Kidders

I lived with my boyfriend for 3years before stating uni and we decided it would be easier for me to move into halls for the first year to meet more people. I have to say it hasn't been easy and i miss living with him a lot, but i have met a lot more people this way, my course only has 8hrs contact time and that is spent in different groups. Out of all my friends i only really have 1 or 2 i see in seminars and all the rest are from my flat in halls or form the hall itself. It's the best way to meet people and you can always move back with him next year AND there is a lot of holidays so you will be with him then.

Obviusly up to you, but i know i made the right choice, however difficult it gets at times!

Edit: i had huge problems with regards loans, you have to be able to prove that youhave supported yourself for three years... now i had lived away from homefor 3 years, but my boyfriend payed the rent as i was at sixth form... i asked them to take into account his salary and apparemtly this couldn't be done so it had to go on my parents, which was ridiculous as i didnt live with either of my folks and therefore i got the basic loan :frown:

And now working all hours to afford to live

Reply 10

gillipies

Kidders

Edit: i had huge problems with regards loans, you have to be able to prove that youhave supported yourself for three years... now i had lived away from homefor 3 years, but my boyfriend payed the rent as i was at sixth form... i asked them to take into account his salary and apparemtly this couldn't be done so it had to go on my parents, which was ridiculous as i didnt live with either of my folks and therefore i got the basic loan :frown:

And now working all hours to afford to live

Exactly what I was about to say... my boyfriend moved from Nottingham down with me to Birmingham when I came to uni, everyone kept telling me not to, you'll never meet any friends etc etc but it's worked out really well.

If you're not into all the socialising every night etc etc (I'm not either) then you'll be fine :smile:

like people have already said, just get talking to people in lectures and join some societies. I also work part time for the uni and work with other students so I get to see a lot of people that way too.

Uni's what you make it so if you dont fancy all the partying then you dont have to :smile:

Back to the quote thing though... I tried to go down this route. We live off my loan, my boyfriend's wages and what I earn through my part time job. My parents are good enough to give me a little bit every month but even then we can only just get by sometimes.

The loans company want you to meet at least one of a list of requirements which are things like:
No contact with any parent for a year (and if they've signed any uni forms for you that counts as contact), funded yourself for 3 years BEFORE starting uni, be married or over the age of 25. Hardly ANYONE (unless a mature student) going to uni will fulfill these things even if you are in your/my situation. :mad: