Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Girl only sees me as a brother

Announcements Posted on
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey guys,

    I've been having feelings for this girl I met last term. We seem to be getting quite close together in the last few weeks, but this week she just told me that 'I am the brother she never had'. Is it basically over now?
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    She's told you how she feels. The logical next step is to reciprocate and go from there.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Oh dear. Sorry, but if she thinks of you as a brother she's unlikely to make a pass at you anytime soon.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, I have to agree with above poster. If she mentions it again you could make a joke out of it, saying, 'hahah that's all?' To see how she responds, but, I wouldn't expect too much. Sorry.
    • 24 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    There is still a chance. Tell her how your feel this valentines day and see how she responds. If you like her then surely it is worth that risk?
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by randdom)
    There is still a chance. Tell her how your feel this valentines day and see how she responds. If you like her then surely it is worth that risk?
    Unless the girl is into incest, I disagree entirely with the above. You have launched yourself straight into the infamous 'friend zone' (do not pass Go, do not collect a lot of sex). I can actually picture some of the conversations you have had: some guy she fancies and she wants your opinion, helping her decide what clothes she should wear, so and so amongst her friends is being really bitchy, etc etc. A lot of very sweet, advice-giving, ear-lending, but ultimately boring conversation that has about as much chance of making her attracted to you as a hefty bout of genital warts. Sorry, looks like it's going to have to be brother and sister. Indeed, the very fact that she has taken the time to liken you to a sibling suggests to me that she knows you fancy her and wants to pre-empt and avoid any rash and embarrassing confessions of love on your part.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by randdom)
    There is still a chance. Tell her how your feel this valentines day and see how she responds. If you like her then surely it is worth that risk?
    We've already planned to go on Valentine's day together. But she was asking me questions such as 'what if some other guy asked me to spend time with him?'.... :'(
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've already planned to go on Valentine's day together. But she was asking me questions such as 'what if some other guy asked me to spend time with him?'.... :'(
    QED.
    • 24 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by englishstudent)
    Unless the girl is into incest, I disagree entirely with the above. You have launched yourself straight into the infamous 'friend zone' (do not pass Go, do not collect a lot of sex). I can actually picture some of the conversations you have had: some guy she fancies and she wants your opinion, helping her decide what clothes she should wear, so and so amongst her friends is being really bitchy, etc etc. A lot of very sweet, advice-giving, ear-lending, but ultimately boring conversation that has about as much chance of making her attracted to you as a hefty bout of genital warts. Sorry, looks like it's going to have to be brother and sister. Indeed, the very fact that she has taken the time to liken you to a sibling suggests to me that she knows you fancy her and wants to pre-empt and avoid any rash and embarrassing confessions of love on your part.
    Have to disagree there. Just because she seems him as a friend now does not mean that this view can't change. If she has no idea that he likes her then finding this out could change her opinion.

    Keeping the fact that he likes her to himself is not really healthy. If he has a really big crush the best way to get over it is to talk to her. If she feels the same or thinks she could do then great there is a chance there. If she doesn't the atleast he has had that confirmed and can work on getting over her. Otherwise part of him maybe forever wondering what if I had said something would it have made a difference.
    • 4 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Might want to make sure she doesnt think you're gay...

    Just because I went to see Over Her Dead Body and it can sometimes be assumed a guy is gay and it can go on for years so you're best to make some sort of statement letting her know she's your umm... target market?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Get it on with another girl and see what happens. Make her jealous yeah!
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Maybe she's into incest?
    • 35 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by englishstudent)
    Unless the girl is into incest, I disagree entirely with the above. You have launched yourself straight into the infamous 'friend zone' (do not pass Go, do not collect a lot of sex). I can actually picture some of the conversations you have had: some guy she fancies and she wants your opinion, helping her decide what clothes she should wear, so and so amongst her friends is being really bitchy, etc etc. A lot of very sweet, advice-giving, ear-lending, but ultimately boring conversation that has about as much chance of making her attracted to you as a hefty bout of genital warts. Sorry, looks like it's going to have to be brother and sister. Indeed, the very fact that she has taken the time to liken you to a sibling suggests to me that she knows you fancy her and wants to pre-empt and avoid any rash and embarrassing confessions of love on your part.
    Yeah. This.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    no please dont do anything for the sake of your friendship. i was really good friends with a guy and i saw him as my brother becasue we were so close, but a while ago he told me he had feelings for me and it has not been the same ever since. i felt bad because i started to think that i had led him on, and he was really embarrased. i feel no different towards him but our friendship has completly changed as he hardly talks to me anymore. only say something if you are sure she feels the same way.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    englishstudent is right. the fact she has told you that she sees you as a brother, and as you said asked you what to do if another guy asks her out for valentine's night shows that she probably has picked up on the fact you like her in a non platonic way and is trying to diffuse the situation in a manner that will preserve your friendship and avoid any awkwardness from you pouring your heart out. girls are good like that. she would not have said both things by accident, and the brother thing is a coded, carefully worded way to let you know how the ground lies.

    start looking elsewhere if you're after something more than just friendship would be my advice, and don't tell her your feelings unless you're prepared for the whole friendship thing to become really messy.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Man, be happy. That type of friendship has much more meaning than a little 'bang' and it can last for so much longer.

    If you're just after 'some', then maybe you're looking in the wrong place.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    'I am the brother she never had'
    Ouuuuch, kiss of death! That's code right there. Not only does it mean it's not going to happen - it means she's realised how you feel, and is telling you that it's not going to happen.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Re: Best mate planning to ask me out

    (Original post by Tagit)
    Tell him he's like a brother to you/really good friend next time you see him, thats the ultimate cock block.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    This thread would be much more interesting if she was your sister.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    For me at least, if I say that someone is like my brother, the thought of being with them romantically repulses me as much as it would with my actual brother, however much I like the friend. However I know that girls like to play what is percieved as mind games sometimes, and so there may be hope for you yet (we haven't observed the situation, so we can't say for sure). Maybe she likes you, but has given up hope that you like her and so came out with that comment because she thinks you've picked up on her liking you and wants to save face, I don't know. That's the only reason I can think of i'd use that line and not mean it.

    So i'd lean towards yes, it is pretty much over in that sense, but keep your eyes and ears open.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: February 11, 2008
New on TSR

Halloween 2014

Spooky tales from this year's fright night

Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.