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cant cum (male)

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    #1

    Hey sorry about the details
    i'm not very sexually experienced. I haven't had a long term relationship where i'm regularly having sex with the same person. In my time i have had 3 one night stands and have now had sex twice with my new girl friend. As the title states, on each occasion i have never cum. For one, the reason could be drunkeness, but for the rest there doesnt appear to be an obvious explanation. For the record I've always remained hard throughout and have never had trouble getting it up. I never get particularly nervous or self conscious so i dont think its that. Also ive been attracted to each of the girls. I just never seemed to derive that much pleasure from it all. When i masturbate i can always cum, obviously thats pretty standard. I have had a history of depression so maybe it relates to that.

    any thoughts
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    Technique? Have you varied it?
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    very likely to be psychological it actually has a section about this in a medical book I have. It says that guys will generally experience these problems with partners but not when they are alone and going it, because they are worried [even if they dont feel worried] and so it makes them hold back.
    Just relax a little more and don't always rush into things if you do, build up to it more to give yourself time to relax a little. Be with a partner you really like so there's less pressure on you to be good or to do whatever..Don't get yourself upset about it.
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    yea sounds more like nerves/being uncomfortable then something physical to me.
    also if it doesnt happen a few times with someone else you worry about it happening again, and so it does.
    make sure in future youre fully relaxed and comfortable. and think it will happen.
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    i always thought that its always easier to cum during masturbation than in sex..

    anyone can clarify this?
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    ^I find it easier to cum during sex than masturbation.

    Anyway;
    Maybe you need a bit more foreplay or to try different positions.
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    (Original post by yonanz)
    i always thought that its always easier to cum during masturbation than in sex..

    anyone can clarify this?
    Despite not having sex, I would agree. During masturbation you control things, and you know what feels good. At the age of most students, I doubt that many have become sex Gods.
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    My bf certainly doesn't have this problem :cool:

    Like other people have said, it is a nerve issue, having sex and masturbating are two very different feeling, perhaps you have grown so used to masturbating that you have become desensitised a little? Perhaps you could just lay off it for a while before you see your girlfriend, and when you do take things easy.
    #2

    Can you feel everything good and stuff? I remember not really cumming the first time because I didn't really feel much when doing it, my nerves were to blame.
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    Plenty of foreplay, a bit of alchol to relax your self, not so you get brewers droop tho! and hold off ham shanking for a while before you see the missus.
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    are you using condoms? are you using the extra thick ones, or ones with a numbing agent in them?

    Maybe try those featherlite ones, they will probably make it feel better.
    #3

    My boyfriend had a similar problem whereby he had a very specific technique for himself, which made it really hard for me to produce any 'results' with him. We later found out that he had a severe case of phimosis, a condition where the foreskin is very tight. Naturally, he feels less friction and is less sensitive as a result, so on Tuesday he'll be going in for a partial circumcision. We're just hoping this will help...

    I'd google the following two conditions, phimosis and frenulum breve. He wasn't aware that having a completely static foreskin was abnormal until we went to see the doctor, so have a good read on men's health forums to see if anything matches what you describe.

    (Mods, please don't de-anon as the bf is understandably quite sensitive about this issue)
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    Bro i am in the same sitiouation right now im trying the not masterbating thing at all.

    From what I have gathered it sort of "de-sensitizes" the penis, so you have to let it become sensitive again by well, not doing anything with it.
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    well when i was around 15 my mates use to ask to see my pubic hair and i was'nt much of a hairy young boy, so i would refuse and they would all show theirs and laugh, and i thought that was a bad thing, once or twice we were with all the girls one of them would ask on behalf of her, could she go down my trousers, and i would'nt of had a problem with having sex, it was just i never had much pubic hair, so i refused to go much further than kissing, ended up finishing with a lovely girl then went down the wrong road getting up to mischief, my face scared, so i had no confidence when talking to girls, for four years, i was in and out of juvenile hall, had sex at 20 and it was the most beautiful exprience, and i belive i would of cum if i wernt interupted, went back to prison till 2002 came out had lots of sex met new girlfriends who i stayed with but i could never cum inside her, now i am 30 and im learning more and more every day with amazing people who help. any suggestions, THANKS................
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    up your standards a bit then fella x
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    stop fapping as it desensitises you.
    concentrate on giving your new gf a good time for now. if sex is quite prolonged make sure you stop if she's getting sore.
    you'll be able to relax and enjoy it more with increasing experience.
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    Re the depression, are you medicated for it with SSRI's or similar?

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