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The most believable (or unbelievable) excuses for not handing in work

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    "Because I woke up at 4:00"

    2 birds killed with one stone, I did actually wake up slightly too late to go to school and hand in work
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    someone in my class told a teacher his dad died over the weekend! he got pulled out of lessons by our head of year who was worried about him. the homework wasnt even important
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    (Original post by Speedbird2008)

    The new classic is: "Oh, sorry - I was un-able to print it off as it was Word 2007." Haha.
    Yeah, this one always works.

    Other good ones:

    It is against my religion.
    Couldn't be arsed.
    I'm a secret agent, and the Government don't want me to get tired by doing too much homework.
    I was busy, drinking beer and playing Guitar Hero.
    Abducted by aliens.
    I dropped it down the toilet this morning. I still have it in my locker, I COULD give it to you..
    Spilt black bean sauce/horse semen/dead baby juice on it. (This will work because it is obscure. If you say 'spilt coffee', it won't wash)
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    My biology teacher last year would believe ANYTHING I said. I had this science project to do and my friend and I were partners. We took pics off the internet [but did cite source] and when he asked about it, I said my friend's father was a professional photographer. What's funny was that he actually believed us. :rofl: Also during our presentation we BSed a story about crops being destroyed by acid rain in the fields of Oklahoma. When we started laughing during the presentation, we told him we were nervous. And you guessed it, he believed us. What a gullible teacher he was! :p:

    We had to turn in a report for all this and I told him I did when I didn't.
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    "My cat ate my printer."

    Said by the most retarded boy in my class, who prefaced this comment with "Damn you (insert name), you stole my excuse!!" (when the previous guy had said his printer broke (:rolleyes:). Needless to say, this did not go down too well with the teacher (as well as the fact he said "damn" in an RE classroom).
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    (Original post by Speedbird2008)


    The new classic is: "Oh, sorry - I was un-able to print it off as it was Word 2007." Haha.

    Hahaha!! I like that one!

    I bet if i said that though, the teacher(s) would just stare at me like i have no brains. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Ang|ophi|e)
    My biology teacher last year would believe ANYTHING I said. I had this science project to do and my friend and I were partners. We took pics off the internet [but did cite source] and when he asked about it, I said my friend's father was a professional photographer. What's funny was that he actually believed us. :rofl: Also during our presentation we BSed a story about crops being destroyed by acid rain in the fields of Oklahoma. When we started laughing during the presentation, we told him we were nervous. And you guessed it, he believed us. What a gullible teacher he was! :p:

    We had to turn in a report for all this and I told him I did when I didn't.
    Lol, that's a good one.

    (Original post by Number6)
    Said by the most retarded boy in my class, who prefaced this comment with "Damn you (insert name), you stole my excuse!!" (when the previous guy had said his printer broke (:rolleyes:). Needless to say, this did not go down too well with the teacher (as well as the fact he said "damn" in an RE classroom).
    Idiot.
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    (Original post by Jayjayjay)
    ....Boards and chalk all the way?
    I was thinking of a wax board and a sharp object.. but then it melted on my way to school.
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    (Original post by HereWithMe89)
    "I already gave it to u, remember?"
    lmao. Transfer blame, I like it :p:
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    (Original post by eDDeboo)
    I was thinking of a wax board and a sharp object.. but then it melted on my way to school.
    Shame on you.
    The gods will certainly punish you.
    No satchel?
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    A friend of mine actually had a really good real excuse. His dog chewed his USB stick to bits.... he even brought the bits in for evidence!
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    I once said I couldn't be bothered to do it. Tutor had nothing to say to that one.
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    'Yeah i gave it to you the other day, honest' is a stone cold classic. Watch them as they look confused, search their desks and tell you they dont have it. While you promise to 'print off another copy' and will have it for the next day. If you're lucky you wont have that lesson the next day, giving a few more days to do it. Ah school.
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    Kat, you haven't handed in your coursework yet.
    *wobble bottom lip, one tear rolls down cheek*
    oh...uhh....i'll see you later about it.

    later:
    what's wrong?
    i couldn't go home after college yesterday to get it because *take a deep breath in and out then pause with eyes closed* i don't really want to talk about it right now. is it ok if I get it to you tomorrow?

    in my defence they actually were troubled times but once i found out it worked all my friends started using it too.
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    "Mr T told me maths was jibber jabber and to stop being a fool"

    This one is real though. (Im at a music college heard some guy say it)

    "I couldnt record my coursework because the boiler isnt working and my fingers are too cold"
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    'I gave it to you the other day' is the best. Teachers have spent weeks searching for coursework of mine because they don't want to get in trouble for losing it. Stupid teachers.

    At college I once pretended to be very upset when a teacher asked me why I hadn't brought it in on a USB. I was like 'how can you just assume everyone has loads of money like you and can spend it on technology... I can barely get the bus to college and eat, let alone buy USB sticks, just wait till my printer works'. This goes hand in hand with my friends constant excuse that her mum hadn't put anymore money on the electricity meter so she couldn't print it out 'im just too poor'.

    Most of the time I just tell them the truth and ask them to be patient.
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    Funny quote from Little Britain:

    Mr Collier: Vicky, it’s been two weeks now and I still haven’t received your essay on Lord Kitchener.
    Vicky: No because what happened was was I was going round Karl’s but then this whole fing happened because Shelley Todd who’s a bitch anyway has been completely going around saying that Destiny stole money out of Rochelle’s purse but I ain’t never not even spoken to Rochelle ‘cause she flicked ash into Michaela’s hair.
    Mr Collier: Vicky, I’m not interested in that. I’m more interested in your coursework.
    Vicky: No because what happened was was this whole fing happened what I don’t even know nuffin about because Ashley Cramer has been going around saying that Samantha’s brother smells of mud but anyway shut up I ain’t never even stole no car so shut up.
    Mr Collier: You know if I don’t get the essay by the end of this week I’m going to have to fail you?
    Vicky: Yeah but Louise Farren emptied a whole bottle of Fanta into Shannon’s bag but anyway Luke reckons he fingered Emma Bateman in the language lab.
    Mr Collier: Vicky, do you want to pass your GCSE?
    Vicky: GSC what? Don’t go giving me evils.
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    1) This one's my favourite:

    "It's in here somewhere... hang on... I promise you I actually did it this time". Then the teacher will hopefully move on to collect everyone else's and just forget about you. Some teachers are annoying and just stand there waiting for you in which case you pull the "Damn it, I can't find it. I'll print it off again tonight and give it to you tomorrow". And you probably won't have a lesson tomorrow and/or they'll just forget.

    My latest improvement on this is to do the homework partially so, for example, if it's a 4 page essay, you do just the first page (you can fill it up with random garbage if need be - just copy and paste any old chunk of text - they won't want to mark an incomplete piece of work). Then when you're ruffling through your bag, you can be like "Oh I found the first page but I can't find the others". If you're printing it, make sure to put in the header of the file "Page 1 of 4".

    2) A lot of teachers collect homework in at the end of the lesson. If this is the case, make sure you come really early and get a seat by the door. As soon as the teacher stops teaching, grab all your stuff and bolt out of there as fast as possible. Worked lots of times.

    3) Another one is the old "You set it for next lesson! Guys, didn't he say it's in for such and such day but we can hand it in today if we wanted to?" and if your class isn't annoying, they should all be like "Yeah".

    3) I also quite like the "Yeah, I think I left it in my locker, I'll give it to you in break time" which stalls it to the next lesson.

    4) If it's something like maths, you can always try the "Yeah I couldn't understand it but I got such and such to help me with it today. I get it now so I'll finish it off tonight and give it to you tomorrow morning". Beware, this can be backfire with "Why did you leave your homework to the last day?". To which you can respond with "Well this other teacher set so much homework + we've got coursework right now which takes up all my time".

    5) One of the ones that usually work really well is the fake honesty approach; "I'm sorry but I COMPLETELY forgot about the essay. I don't want to lie to you so I'm being honest. I promise I'll do it tonight". This is the "fake honesty" approach because you knew damn well that you had to do it but you decided not to :p:.

    A good thing about this one is that if the previous ones fail, you can just throw this one in (without that last line) and hope it works.

    6) You can always try the "Yeah I did it early and put it in your pigeon hole" but it only really works if you've actually handed work in early before.

    7) Another quite nice one, which I haven't ever tried though, is the "Yeah, I e-mailed you it, I promise. You can even check the time stamp when you open it" (alternatively, you can bring a USB stick in). When they check their e-mail, they'll be surprised to actually see an e-mail from you but, when they open the attachment, the file will somehow be corrupted. A good thing about this is that next lesson, your teacher will be like "Your file was corrupted" and so you can be like "Oh, that's weird, I'll print it off tonight and give it to you then" which stalls it for another lesson. So you get 2 lessons to stall the homework.

    8) "I left it at home, no, seriously - you can ask such and such". Make sure "such and such" is a friend who's actually done the work. Then you can be like "Yeah, we did it together because he needed my help".

    You can tell why I got a 5 for effort in my report (effort grades are on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being the best and 5 being very, very bad).
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    I always use 'I left it in my room in the boarding house, want me to get it'
    It works all the time since I live in the boarding house a few metres away. Haha.
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    "OK..OK give me two seconds and I'll have the Wikipedia page for you"

    "Print a page off with your name and the word resubmitting"
Updated: December 1, 2010
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