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Don't feel quite right, like I'm not really here. -long post, sorry

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    I just feel like I'm kind of watching everything through a screen. I feel really removed, detached, like I don't quite belong.

    Things happen, really nice things, like when my parents threw a surprise party for me, and all my friends are there, and I smile and laugh because I know its a happy event, and I should be smiling and laughing, but I don't feel it inside.

    I'm not a social recluse or anything, I have lots of friends, I go school, work, I go to a lot of parties, and clubbing and that, but nothing ever feels quite real.

    I feel really alone, I'm sitting here now, and I just have this horrible uncomfortable feeling in my gut, and I can only describe it as loneliness. I feel sad quite a lot, but not for the right reasons. This girl I really really like told me last night that she could only ever like me as a friend, and that makes me feel sad, but only because I feel like I should be with her.

    Thats what it's like, I know how I should be feeling, and I act that way, but I don't really feel it.

    The only thing I can really relate it to is that Dextar TV show, if anyones seen it? Not the killing people part, I don't want to kill anyone, but the not really feeling/understanding anything. Thats what it is like for me.

    I don't know why I'm telling you all this, or what I hope to achieve, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. I don't really know how anyone can help, but you never know.

    Has/does anyone else feel this way?
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    Look up 'depersonalisation'.

    It's commonly related to anxiety and stress. You're constantly worrying about how you look from the outside that you start to feel like you almost are permanently on the outside.
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    Ahhh! That stage, I remember that.

    I decided that it basically was my instinctual hormones telling me that I need to find a mate. Yeah, a little bit crude and something left over from when we were running around on all fours but it definitely had a purpose.

    Basically you have two choices:
    - Find someone that you would consider a 'mate', spend time with them, fall in love with them yadda yadda yadda ... or ...
    - Wait a little while, you'll get used to the feeling (to some extent but it will still be there) and wait until you find someone you feel more comfortable making a future with.

    Really I just decided that my body wanted me to find someone to share all these experiences with because sometimes you can feel as though an experience just isn't an experience unless you have someone to share and remember it with.
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    I swear i've had this before, but only a couple times lasting for a day or two, it sort of felt really weiird more than anything else for me. But because it didnt last long and was agges ago i never looked into it personally. How long have you been feeling like this? Is it all the time? Or if regularly does it often happen after particular events?

    Check out what saffie recomended though, seem like a good start!
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    I've had this sort of thing for years, on and off. The feeling that nothing really seems real. This is why I decided driving would be a bad idea...
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    I feel exactly the same. Except without as many friends or the surprise party.
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    Sorry to hear you're feelign like this..

    I've felt a little bit like that before I think.. kind of like an out of body experience on an emotional level?

    For me it didn't last long.. [literally like a couple of weeks] .. all I can say is you'll get through it!
    Try to spend some time with friends and family.. focus on the great things in your life and hopefully it'll take your mind off things?

    Sorry I can't be of more help!!

    Hope things work out
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    (Original post by punktopia)
    I've had this sort of thing for years, on and off. The feeling that nothing really seems real. This is why I decided driving would be a bad idea...
    Ha! That's partly why I'm not driving, either.

    When I'm stood at the traffic lights waiting for the green man, there's a little voice asking me what's stopping me from walking in front of that double decker bus. Incidentally, I was run over on the last day of year 11 :p:.
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    (Original post by Greatleysteg)
    Ha! That's partly why I'm not driving, either.

    When I'm stood at the traffic lights waiting for the green man, there's a little voice asking me what's stopping me from walking in front of that double decker bus. Incidentally, I was run over on the last day of year 11 :p:.
    Yeah, when I was learning to drive I'd think "is this actually happening? What happens if I crash? Will it feel real then?"

    I think the feeling is partially related to my sleeping pattern... I usually go to bed between 3-6 am and wake up between 12-3 pm. It's almost a form of permanent insomnia, and on top of that, I'm physically detached from "normal" elements of society who go to bed at 10 pm or whatever.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I just kind of want to be happy like everyone else is. Not fake happy, but really happy! I can't even remember what that feels like.

    My parents are going out tonight which kind of scares me, this is the most bummed I've ever felt about it, I really don't want to be alone.
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    Once you get to uni I'm sure you'll get loads of friends


    (Original post by Greatleysteg)
    I feel exactly the same. Except without as many friends or the surprise party.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats what it's like, I know how I should be feeling, and I act that way, but I don't really feel it.

    The only thing I can really relate it to is that Dextar TV show, if anyones seen it? Not the killing people part, I don't want to kill anyone, but the not really feeling/understanding anything. Thats what it is like for me.

    I don't know why I'm telling you all this, or what I hope to achieve, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. I don't really know how anyone can help, but you never know.

    Has/does anyone else feel this way?
    I've seen that show, and it's really good (although I torn as whether to like him as the protagonist seeing as he's a killer :p:)
    I can understand what you mean, and I guess sometimes I feel slightly like this from time to time. It's strange, it's as if my mind is always in gear but my body kid of lags behind as I kind of struggle to feel the reality of what's going on around me. Thankfully it only happens occassionally though. I guess it's kind of a comfort others feel like this from time to time. ;console;
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    I'm pretty sure it's deperesonalisation, as someone else suggested. It's basically what you described - you feel like there's a barrier between you and the world...you could try going to your doctor about it and see someone who can help you? I think I've experienced it before and it's really not pleasant. Definately look in to it though.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalisation
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    Hm, the closest I've come to feeling anything like this is when I get a weird feeling in my gut that's like the world's going to end or something...anyone know what I mean?
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    I don't know if this is the same thing, but I usually get like this a lot at the weekends when I'm at uni & I've got nothing planned with friends - everything just seems weird & unreal...think it's because I'm by myself & thinking about things/life too much. I tend to get very emotional as well. (feels like tonight might be one of those nights...)

    OP, you say your parents are going out tonight & don't want to be alone - is it too late to invite a friend over? Otherwise I'd suggest watching a favourite film to cheer you up, or something good on TV.
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    (Original post by Greatleysteg)
    Ha! That's partly why I'm not driving, either.

    When I'm stood at the traffic lights waiting for the green man, there's a little voice asking me what's stopping me from walking in front of that double decker bus. Incidentally, I was run over on the last day of year 11 :p:.
    :eek: how badly were you hurt?

    I suppose that feeling so detached fom the world can lead you to feeling slightly immortal, which I worry I sometimes do...
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just kind of want to be happy like everyone else is. Not fake happy, but really happy! I can't even remember what that feels like.

    My parents are going out tonight which kind of scares me, this is the most bummed I've ever felt about it, I really don't want to be alone.
    How long have you been feeling like this? In my experience, this is usually the result of not having someone you love. I was kind of in a similar situation to you, and you can feel as though nothing means anything in any true sense because there's something missing. Try spending time with her and just enjoying her company, i think it'll make you feel better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just kind of want to be happy like everyone else is. Not fake happy, but really happy! I can't even remember what that feels like.

    My parents are going out tonight which kind of scares me, this is the most bummed I've ever felt about it, I really don't want to be alone.
    :hugs: I can relate to how you feel. But also, you don't have to feel that everyone's always happy when they seem to be- it's all swings and roundabouts for most people.

    Perhaps phone up a friend and have a really deep conversation about how the world sucks? I find that that helps sometimes, just to know that someone close to you share a similar viewpoint.
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    I get this feeling sometimes. There are times when I should be happy but I just can't feel it, and all of a sudden there will be another me outside my body (or so it feels like) dictating me to be happy, or rather, to pretend to be happy so as to meet the others' expectations. But inside I just feel hollow. On those occasions, external matters just don't affect my emotions at all.
    Maybe it's just a phase? Honestly, I don't really know. :shrug:
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    I thought I was the only one who got this!

    I've experienced it for at least 2 or 3 years, though more on and off than constant.... I don't always notice when I'm experiencing it / am not experiencing it anymore, which is strange...
    Even wrote a blog about it on myspace, thinking I was the only person and strange for experiencing it lol

    The suggestions about getting a partner / love seem to make sense though.... I seem to get it less when I don't feel lonely...

    Hmmm, this post isn't much help, but know you're not alone!

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Updated: March 26, 2008
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