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    hey guys can you please read through this letter draft I have for requesting work experience. Is it any good and how can i improve please be critical.
    Also should I keep the stuff about trying for other volunteering in or does this stuff make it too long.

    (my address on right)

    (Their address)


    Dear Doctor,
    I am writing to you regarding a temporary work experience placement at (hospital name) in the Cardiology department.

    I am fifteen years old and attend (school name). At present, I am doing 11 GCSEs and one AS level. My predicted grades for all these GCSEs are A*s. Within school hours, I am a member of the school council and this helps me to exercise my communication skills and build on my teamwork skills. Outside of school time, I volunteer at my local charity shop where I am able to serve customers and contribute to the charity. I would like to be a doctor in the future because it would allow me to work in a team and contribute to saving people’s lives which is very important to me.

    I am dedicated to furthering my knowledge about medicine in order to fully confirm being a doctor as my future career. I am very enthusiastic about medicine and have already been trying to broaden my knowledge about it. I am particularly interested in medical ethics and read around this subject. I am eager to gain experience working with people who have disabilities and have been attending training sessions which will prepare me to help autistic children at my local church hall. I have also applied to work with WRVS as part of their ‘Greeting and Guiding’ scheme in (hospital name). However I believe the best experience for me would be actual work experience in a hospital because I would at first-hand see the work of leading clinicians and I would gain real insight into about the challenges involved in this incredible vocation.

    I would like my work experience to be in the Cardiology department particularly because the heart is a major organ and many of the diseases and conditions of the heart can be life-threatening. However the work is not only challenging because of the importance of the heart but also because of the variety of different diseases related to the heart, resulting in great variety in the type of work a cardiologist might do. I feel that this variety in work and also the importance of the work means that shadowing the work of a cardiologist would be most beneficial.

    I understand what a demanding job being a cardiologist is and therefore would be very flexible about the dates for the work experience. I also hope my letter has shown how dedicated and enthusiastic I am about Medicine as my career choice. I am grateful that you took time to read this letter and would appreciate it if you could allow me to gain work experience in your department. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

    Yours faithfully,
    (my name)

    thanks for reading the letter guys please give me tips on how to improve it
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    (Original post by Candyflosses)
    hey guys can you please read through this letter draft I have for requesting work experience. Is it any good and how can i improve please be critical.
    Also should I keep the stuff about trying for other volunteering in or does this stuff make it too long.

    ~Letter~


    thanks for reading the letter guys please give me tips on how to improve it
    I don't know about other people, but I didn't even properly read the whole thing, instead I skimmed through it, so a lot of its impact was no doubt lost. For me it just seemed waaaay too long. For my WE requests/applications I sent in a brief letter stated what I would like and why. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I'd wait and see what others have to say though, I may well be the exception, but I can't help but feel that it is far too long for people to bother with it :dontknow:

    Sorry if that sounded harsh, just can't think of a better way to phrase what I'm trying to say atm :redface:
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    I agree with Alex, they really aren't going to be interested in your skills or other experiences (except maybe if you've been through aseptic techniques in surgery), just what you want to do, why, who you are, and other similar things.

    Any more is just overkill.
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    Thinking about it, why not put together a CV. Then you can include that with your application letter. Means you get to include all the stuff you want to say, whilst keeping the letter itself concise.
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    (Original post by Candyflosses)
    I would like to be a doctor in the future because it would allow me to work in a team and contribute to saving people’s lives which is very important to me.
    I'd seriously consider dropping that line. A) Medicine isn't the only option if that's all you want, and B) It sounds a tad cheesy and could easily rub whoever is reading it the wrong way.
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    What do people usually send for work xp applications?

    A CV and Application letter/form stating why you want to work there?

    also is it wise to ask for work xp and for volunteering work at the same time/ same letter?
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    (Original post by Norfolk_Enchance)
    What do people usually send for work xp applications?

    A CV and Application letter/form stating why you want to work there?

    also is it wise to ask for work xp and for volunteering work at the same time/ same letter?
    I think ringing them is the best thing to do first. It saves time and hassle and you can get an instant answer about if they give any w.e. If yes, then they might send you an application form etc
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    Thanks everyone, I will definitely be making this letter shorter and dont worry johnnyofengland I have deleted that line and replaced it with: I am seriously considering entering into medicine because the pursuit of knowledge and the preservation of life are two key aspects that I would find fufilling and meaningful. Is that better?

    Thanks again and Alex L it wasnt too harsh I wanted constructive criticism. Thanks

    but im still a bit worried about the reasons for doing it in cardiology these were: I am particularly interested in Cardiology because the heart is a major organ and many of the diseases and conditions of the heart can be life-threatening. However I consider that the work is not only challenging due to the importance of this organ, but also because of the variety of different diseases and conditions that can affect it. I feel that the importance and variety of the work means that I would find shadowing a cardiologist both beneficial and fascinating.

    does it sound ok?
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    I agree with Alex - way too long.

    The letter will most likely not be read by a doctor as well.

    Is it possible for you to phone them up instead?? Makes it a lot easier.
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    Okay I was planning on doing some work experience at my local hospital. I rang them up yesterday and they're fully booked until January 2010! I have to apply this October! What shall I do? The only other things I have is a homework club I help at and I volunteer at an care home. I may also being spending a week at my vets to look at surgery and samples under a microscope and stuff but that's it.

    Surely that's not enough and there's nothing medical there really.
    Help please
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    Apply to other places. I honestly must have applied to about 15 different hospitals when I applied. Many of which were over hour commutes from my home. You can't really afford to be fussy.
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    Why can't you write to doctors directly? That's what I did to get my work experience. Go on your local hospital's website and there should be a list of consultants somwhere. Okay, so it is slightly stalkerish, but I had no other ideas and it seemed to work well for me!
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    Dont worry, you can put in your personal statement that you have work experience coming up, so ring back the hospital and request that they book you in for january. In the meantime call up other hospitals and see what they have available. Volunteering at a care home is good, likewise the week at the vets. Other things i would suggest are see if there are any youth organisations that could arrange for you to help out with people who have disabilities, its a valuable experience and it gives you a greater understanding of the type of disabilites people can have and how it affects them and their families. You could also try dentist surgeries as they have to deal with medical conditions as well as more cosmetic procedures.
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    Try a GP.. terribly mind numbing as it may sound it's better than nothing!
    Also medical research labs such as pathology labs... not quite what you're aiming for I know but in some ways it is all about quantity
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    If all else fails, find out what everyone else has done, and what they have seen, then make it up.
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    (Original post by xXxBaby-BooxXx)
    Okay I was planning on doing some work experience at my local hospital. I rang them up yesterday and they're fully booked until January 2010! I have to apply this October! What shall I do? The only other things I have is a homework club I help at and I volunteer at an care home. I may also being spending a week at my vets to look at surgery and samples under a microscope and stuff but that's it.

    Surely that's not enough and there's nothing medical there really.
    Help please
    QUALITY of experience and what you learned from it, not quantity

    Don't need medical placement

    Hospice/elderly home have plenty. May even get paid job.

    Charity shop, any customer service job, anything.
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    (Original post by Hana.W)
    Try a GP.. terribly mind numbing as it may sound it's better than nothing!
    Also medical research labs such as pathology labs... not quite what you're aiming for I know but in some ways it is all about quantity
    What do you mean mind numbing!!! I loved my GP placement, it was probably my favourite one!!

    Anyway OP just put in your statement that you have work experience lined up, you could always try more hospitals aswell or you could write to individual consultants. Long term volunteering at a care home will probably be worth more anyway since it demonstrates a caring attitude etc...I learned so much more volunteering with the disabled than I did at any of my work experience placements and it gave me much more to talk about in interviews
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    (Original post by piece_by_piece)
    Why can't you write to doctors directly? That's what I did to get my work experience. Go on your local hospital's website and there should be a list of consultants somwhere. Okay, so it is slightly stalkerish, but I had no other ideas and it seemed to work well for me!
    I did exactly the same.
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    (Original post by Candyflosses)
    Thanks everyone, I will definitely be making this letter shorter and dont worry johnnyofengland I have deleted that line and replaced it with: I am seriously considering entering into medicine because the pursuit of knowledge and the preservation of life are two key aspects that I would find fufilling and meaningful. Is that better?
    Sounds a lot better to me. :yy:

    (Original post by Hana.W)
    Try a GP.. terribly mind numbing as it may sound it's better than nothing!
    I actually found my GP experience to be a lot more useful than my Hospital one.

    (Original post by terpineol)
    If all else fails, find out what everyone else has done, and what they have seen, then make it up.
    Terpineol - slowly corrupting applicants one post at a time.
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    (Original post by jonnyofengland)
    Terpineol - slowly corrupting applicants one post at a time.
    Its a tough job, but someone has to introduce them to the real world, and its not pretty.

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