[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 1 year recently broke up with me and I'm not coping too well. He was my first boyfriend (first kiss, first everything!) and my best friend so it's a little strange without him to say the least.
He wants us to still be friends, but I feel like we need a bit of time apart before I can be around him and not be upset.
The problem is, I don't really have any friends. When I got together with my boyfriend, all of my friends were going down the whole "let's smoke weed all day and sit watching tv" route, which they are still doing. Even though I know it's bad, I thought having a boyfriend would be the perfect excuse to start detatching myself from the friends I was already growing apart from.
But now that we've split up, I'm quite lonely and have been looking mostly to my mum for support, but I can feel she's getting a bit sick of me hanging around her!
Making new friends at the moment, while I'm a bit fragile, just seems so daunting and I don't even know how to go about it. I'm not really at the stage where I want to go out and get drunk yet, so that's not really an option.
I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope with this break-up without the help of really deep friendships.
Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anyone?

[Angel83]

The best thing to do is take up a hobby that way you are occupying yourself and meeting new people, it will take a while to make friends but there's no reason why you can't start to get aquainted. Don't go back to the druggies, you did the right thing leaving them

[katerose]

I'm in the same position as you, except I've lost my friends through moving around a lot and I rent a place with my brother, and I work from home so it's hard making friends sometimes. I certainly don't have close friends here.
The way I'm getting through it is just to try to keep myself reasonably busy - I go to dance classes as often as I can and I'm also going to college, so while the people I speak to aren't close friends, they're keeping me social enough that I don't go round the bend. I talk to some close-ish friends from back home on MSN and my brother when he's about occasionally.
It's hard to make friends like you did when you were at school so I think the main thing is to try to keep positive and plugging forward with plans - I'm planning on going back to uni either this September or the next and I'm just preparing for that. I don't deny it's hard, but sometimes you also have to kind of just say yes to everything and consider seeing people that you might not have before - sometimes you can end up having a nice night with the very last people you'd expect. And also just not to force things with people, else you'll seem weird and desperate. Happy films and music and nice pampering things like hot baths, clean bedsheets and fancy chocolate and wine help for those nights where being alone is unavoidable.
Also maybe getting one of your old mates on their own as well - sometimes people just turn into idiots in groups, peer pressure and all that. In the words of the Chairman from Memoirs of a Geisha: "Friendship is a precious thing, Sayuri. One mustn't throw it away". Hope things pick up for you soon!

[little.miss.vicki]

If you were already losing interest in your friends before you met your ex it is unlikely you (or they) are going to want to be friends again now. If I were you I'd start trying to meet new people surely there are peoplein your lectures/classes you can talk to, or try and arrange to go to the pub with a couple of the people you work with, or even try joining a new society/charity so you meet people that you have something in common with. They won't be your best friends immediately but you can get to know them (and they will introduce you to their friends).
Meeting new people when you are upset about your ex must be hard, and I can imagine it's difficult to deal with a break up when you don't have anyone to talk to/ get advice from. If you want to moan etc feel free to PM me
xxxx

[ghostories]

Originally Posted by Angel83

The best thing to do is take up a hobby that way you are occupying yourself and meeting new people, it will take a while to make friends but there's no reason why you can't start to get aquainted. Don't go back to the druggies, you did the right thing leaving them

Yeah, I'm hoping I did. I guess it's just like, making me miss the friendships that were around before this all happened!

[welshprincess]

Do you have any siblings or close family other than your mum?
Any break up is hard, especially when its your first love. When i finished with my ex i turned to my sister and spent loads of time with her and i found it helped. If you have noone at all you can turn to i do think its a good idea to maybe start getting to know new people, i agree with what people are saying about taking up a new hobby. That way you will be preoccupied with something and will have a chance to make new friends. I'm sure your mum isn't getting fed up with you, maybe shes just worried because you havent got anyone else to turn to. It'll be hard to get over the break up but i can assure you that you'll come out a stronger person x