[Anonymous]

I just dont know how to cope with all this pain im feeling.

my boyfriend of 2.5 years and i went to separate unis in september.

it didnt last, i couldnt cope with the distance. i kind of felt like it was easier to be not going out at all than being so upset about being without him in the term times. i know it doesnt sound like it makes sense, but i also felt like it wasnt a proper relationship any more because of the distance.

so we split up a few months ago. since then ive kissed a couple of guys, there is one i really like. it hasnt worked out with him, but i have had a bit of attention off other guys.

as nice as these guys are, they really really dont match up to my ex. everything was so perfect between us, he is so lovely, treated me like a princess..... i couldnt fault anything. we didnt argue, we were best friends and to sound soppy, we just were so amazing together.

now im at uni, i am at such a loss at what to do. if we go back out, i just cant cope with the times we are apart. if we dont i am going to lose him to someone else, he is so nice he is bound to find someone else. i also dont want our relationship to turn "dead" so to speak, as the long distance does make you seem more like best friends.

its so heartbreaking..... at home in the holidays i feel so lost because he is not there any more. at uni it has been so much easier and less upsetting when we didnt go out... out of sight out of mind so to speak .

he is still waiting for me to go back out with him, but i dont know how i can as i find it so hard in the term times. plus there is the added fact that i really like someone else, even if nothing happens between us its not fair to go back out with him if i like someone else. i know i said that the guys i had met dont match up to my ex, there is one that just sticks out. i dont know why i like him, i just really do, there is just something about him.

thanks so much for reading, i would just love some advice please, especially off of people who have been through something similar.

[Maiden]

My advice would be don't go back out with him.

My Bf's been away for almost 3 months now, and as much as I hate being without him, and we had the closest we've ever come to fighting over gmail, and basically its been really upsetting though I shan't bother with the other details, I, We still feel that its better to be together and be upset/sad/lonely for now than not to have each other in our lives.

And if you don't feel like that, and you do like this other guy... it could kinda be stringing along your ex to go back out with him.

Just my feelings

[FadedJade]

It is hard when you go to uni and they aren't there any more. But if the relationship is worth it then you do it anyway because you love them! Come and have a chat in teh LDR society, there are many people in there that understand your situation.

[daryush]

If you were upset with the distance before, what's to say you wont be upset again?

Although there's nothing to say you guys can't be LD and try make it work? How often did you two see / speak to each other? Perhaps if you restart your relationship with him you can do things like that more often? You do sound like you were really fond of him so maybe it is worth it.

Hope I could help

[***amy***]

I would personally stick with him! but don't draw it out if your heart's not in it.
Can you not see each other more often whilst at uni? How far away are you from him/ how long's the journey to go and visit?

[iloveyou_xx]

Originally Posted by Maiden

We still feel that its better to be together and be upset/sad/lonely for now than not to have each other in our lives.

And if you don't feel like that, and you do like this other guy... it could kinda be stringing along your ex to go back out with him.

Just my feelings

i kind of agree with you.

my boyfriend and i are in an LDR and i know how hard it can get. but at the end of the day, i'd rather be with him in this way than not be with him at all. the time i spend with him is more than worth how much i miss him when he's not here. so if you don't feel like you'd rather be with him sometimes than not at all, it can't work sweetie.

but if you feel like he's the nice guy that you say he is, you love him and you want to make it work, you can. throw yourself into uni when you're there, spend time with your friends and have fun. the key to LDRs is not to spend your time moping about and missing them all the time. you need to have your own life otherwise the hurt will become unbearable. as long as you keep communicating with him and see him whenever possible, it could work. you just have to decide whether you want it to.