Is It Fair To Only Be Able To Love One Person?

I think what you said is kind of unfair, but true, have you gone all the way yet with the second girl? if so, that was prolly the reason for the mess being not so complicated, if not, well i definatly think you owe up to your girlfriend to tell her the situation she deserves to kno. and about the second girl, you might want to ask yourself what kind of person she is, she knew you had a girlfriend who loved very much and she still is "coming on?" (that might not be the right term) maybe "loving" on you.

Believe it or not, there are other connections other than physical. The new girl and I have done absolutely nothing but talk. There is not physical there, only mental, thus the problem. If it was physical, it would be easy to understand the complications, but it isn't. I know what people assume when there are two women/men in a person's mind, and that person is quarrelling with him/herself about it. But this time, there is actually no physical. I never intended for there to be, nor has there been. I guess to most that would make the new girl a best friend, but my girlfriend would make any girl that even smiles at me a possible target to steal me away. Don't know if that clears anything up or not, but yeah, its a mental connection, not physical . . .

Believe it or not, there are other connections other than physical. The new girl and I have done absolutely nothing but talk. There is not physical there, only mental, thus the problem. If it was physical, it would be easy to understand the complications, but it isn't. I know what people assume when there are two women/men in a person's mind, and that person is quarrelling with him/herself about it. But this time, there is actually no physical. I never intended for there to be, nor has there been. I guess to most that would make the new girl a best friend, but my girlfriend would make any girl that even smiles at me a possible target to steal me away. Don't know if that clears anything up or not, but yeah, its a mental connection, not physical . . .

What I was meaning earlier - any kind of connection with another person in that sense is cheating. And it makes it worse because the other person has strong feelings for you.

yes but mental connections arent so bad, think about it, the only reason people go out is bcuz they have a certain mental connection and lust.... if he only has the one, I think he's safe. I love all my best buddis, and there guys, so........ maybe you just think its "love" but its not that kind of love, more like less romance and more sister/brother kind of thing.. if that makes any sense

i agree u have to be able to c it from ur girlfriends perspective.although it is how u feel and wat u want which is wat is truely the most important.although it sounds harsh,if ur not completely in the relationship,then there is no relationship!

thank you, I was just pointing out that maybe its friendly love and he didn't realize it....

"Whats a guy to do, when his heart beats for two?"

I have had a girlfriend for over two years now. I love her more than anything in this world. This summer, when she when home (she lives 600 miles away from college), I met a girl at my work, who as far as she and I are convinced is a female replica of myself, with modifications and variations. No two people are the same. She and I can finish each other's thoughts and sentences, and I have only known her for a little over three months. I have grown to love her, not nearly as much as I love my girlfriend, but at the same time she has fallen in love with me. We aren't breaking any physical rules or anything, just mental connection. My girlfriend is back home now, I spend most of my time with her. I talk to the girl at work online and when I work. I think I should call it quits with any form of love, just so I won't risk getting caught by my girlfriend, because she would take any form of attraction as cheating on her. Not sure what to think of the whole thing. All I know is, is that my girlfriend and I are living in the same apartment and plan to do so for at least another year and 7 (give or take) months, until we graduate. Any thoughts or suggestions? (it's open to anyone)

ALL I SAY IS DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST

That's deep.

I feel really sorry for you in your situation and can really relate to the way your feeling. When I was in school, I was completly in love with this guy I went out with and we went out together for 10 months (which was a long time then lol) Then he cheated on me and it all ended quite badly, at the time I was heart broken and devasted but I carried on and moved on. When I left school, I met my new boyf who is totally amazing, supportive, I wouldn't have got through the past two years without him, but although hes lovely, on my part, the relationship has always lacked that 'chemisty', I love him so much and appreciate all he's done but I have always felt theres something missing. Them a few months ago, my ex from school called me up and said he was coming to visit and wanted to get together. I was really confused, and after so much thinking, i decided to meet him and the inevitable happened. There is this amazing chemistry between us, its hard to explain, but Im sure you know what I mean. But now he has gone back home (350miles away) and completly doesnt bother about me. He says it was great but he cant tie himself down. Although I was upset at first and felt used I decided that good had come out of it. I took the opportunity and went for it and found valuable things out about myself. It made me realise that you can confuse lust for love and how much you should value the people that have been there for you. Although there is a mental, physical connection between me and my ex, my boyfriend has show me the most commitement for me, more than anyone. You should appreciate the little things in life. We are still together now and although I feel totally guilty, I now put my all into the relationship and have no baggage or questions, Ive cut the strings. And its a lot healthier.

I know this probably hasnt helped at all, and perhaps I just needed to get it of my chest to someone. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, that although you should go for opportunites and 'connections', commitement and stabilty are so important in your life, and your gf obviuosly loves you so much and has dedicated a lot of her life to you.

Let me no what happens xxx

"Whats a guy to do, when his heart beats for two?"

Thanks for the insight. I'm still not sure what I am gonna do just yet. I know that I am going to stay with my girlfriend no matter what, but I just don't want to blow off the other girl, my "good friend" as someone suggested. She and I want to remain friends, but I wonder if that will only make things even more hairy than they already are. I will definately some critical thinking in the extreemly near future . . .

I feel really sorry for you in your situation and can really relate to the way your feeling. When I was in school, I was completly in love with this guy I went out with and we went out together for 10 months (which was a long time then lol) Then he cheated on me and it all ended quite badly, at the time I was heart broken and devasted but I carried on and moved on. When I left school, I met my new boyf who is totally amazing, supportive, I wouldn't have got through the past two years without him, but although hes lovely, on my part, the relationship has always lacked that 'chemisty', I love him so much and appreciate all he's done but I have always felt theres something missing. Them a few months ago, my ex from school called me up and said he was coming to visit and wanted to get together. I was really confused, and after so much thinking, i decided to meet him and the inevitable happened. There is this amazing chemistry between us, its hard to explain, but Im sure you know what I mean. But now he has gone back home (350miles away) and completly doesnt bother about me. He says it was great but he cant tie himself down. Although I was upset at first and felt used I decided that good had come out of it. I took the opportunity and went for it and found valuable things out about myself. It made me realise that you can confuse lust for love and how much you should value the people that have been there for you. Although there is a mental, physical connection between me and my ex, my boyfriend has show me the most commitement for me, more than anyone. You should appreciate the little things in life. We are still together now and although I feel totally guilty, I now put my all into the relationship and have no baggage or questions, Ive cut the strings. And its a lot healthier.

I know this probably hasnt helped at all, and perhaps I just needed to get it of my chest to someone. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, that although you should go for opportunites and 'connections', commitement and stabilty are so important in your life, and your gf obviuosly loves you so much and has dedicated a lot of her life to you.

Let me no what happens xxx

"Whats a guy to do, when his heart beats for two?"

Thanks for the insight. I'm still not sure what I am gonna do just yet. I know that I am going to stay with my girlfriend no matter what, but I just don't want to blow off the other girl, my "good friend" as someone suggested. She and I want to remain friends, but I wonder if that will only make things even more hairy than they already are. I will definately some critical thinking in the extreemly near future . . .

You should break off your friendship, you've already said this other girl has feelings for you. To do the right thing by here you should back off.

Yes, yes, my heart's breaking. I pity you - having two girlfriends. How unlucky can one person be?