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Boyfriend had sex with me when I'd passed out.

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Anonymous

Yeah but he's my boyfriend, we have had sex many times, so I don't know he just assumed I'd say yes if i were awake.

Plus he was very drunk (not as bad as me but nearly) plus he's really stressed with exams and sexually frustrated. I can't help it if i don't want sex when he does! :mad:

But yeah he's usually a good guy and respectful and i do love him.

I wouldn't call the police on him ohmygod! :s-smilie:

You say that as if its a valid excuse, its not.

Theres no point going to the police. Only a very small number of rape cases win anyway. You should talk to him, make him realise what he did and hopefully you will see he is a dick and dump him.

Reply 41

Kalashnikov

Call the police. Seriously.

Reply 42

LaurenFah

Anonymous

He was very smashed. I do too.

Yeah it is odd, he never usually pulls stunts like this. I'm just worried I can't trust him anymore.

You think people are over-reacting, but you can't trust your own boyfriend not to rape you?

Ok, do what you want. Stay with him and allow it to happen again and again, him constantly treating you with no respect. Enjoy.

Reply 43

Anonymous #1

Also the whole Police thing - How would i prove he raped me? These cases rarely end up and i wouldn't want to drag my family, his family through all of this for one mistake.

Saying that I still feel really upset I keep crying & all :frown:

I can't just stop loving him :frown:

Thing is he's not even sorry. I rung him and said "What was last night all about?? What were you thinking? I can't believe you'd just take advantage like that" He just got all stressed out with me. :mad:

Reply 44

Purasuchikku

please, get rid of him!

Reply 45

Donald Duck

That's officially rape, although I wouldn't get the police involved. I would seriously rethink the relationship though, although if he was very drunk, it might have really affected his judgement or even remembering you saying that.

Reply 46

Jimny

Date-Rape, simple as, confront him.

Reply 47

eggy 123

confront him, on the phone or whatever, just say how you feel, evan if he does interupt.

Reply 48

PianoMan1

u shud cut off his dick :-D

Reply 49

RosiePosiePuddingAndPie

Tell him it's really upset you, talk to him about how you feel, and get him to apologise. Hopefully, once he's done that, and is sincere, you'll feel better and can start to trust him again :smile:

Don't break up with him if you think you can (and want to) work through it :smile:

. It was a nasty thing for him to do, but if you love him, breaking up might seem too much. I know I would be so angry with my boyfriend, but I also wouldn't dump him over it. Maybe I'm a pushover, but I'd expect some serious apologies and grovelling, then I'd forgive and we'd move on :smile:

rape

technically i think that is rape considering you said no and he held your wrists thus forcing you

stand up to him, see if he apologises, if he doesn't then dump his sorry arse

Reply 52

Wenzel

I agree with the others, except for the police thing. It'd be pointless, cause her unnecessary stress, and get no where. How would she prove that he did anything to her?

Reply 53

Tipitman

Dump, mind that would never stand up in court, the fact that you were both drunk from clubbing is enough but then also it could end up being one word against anothers and the defense may arguge that you were so drunk that your no may of not come out audiable and he may of been so drunk as not to hear it.

In summary, dump the guy. But cops might be more hassle than anything.

Reply 54

butterfly_girl_5

Anonymous

But yeah he's usually a good guy and respectful and i do love him.

I wouldn't call the police on him ohmygod! :s-smilie:

what??

what he did was disgusting- not the same as being sober and getting violent,

but he treaded you like an inflatable doll, no one who isnt utterly mindless would ever do that. anyone with any (self!)respect would never do that however drunk they were- the fact that he did this tells me there is something seriously wrong with him, and the fact he carried on and held your wrists shows he did it despite knowing you didnt show an active desire to do it.

Theres no way some perfectly decent guy who never does anything shameful when drunk would do this- anyway, no one with o.1% potential to do something like that should get off their face.

and I cant believe you said, maybe he assumed you would say yes if you were awake- this is just absolutely wrong- he sounds completely mindless and shamelessly thinking about sex like just getting a fix.

you shouldnt ever have to make excuses for why you dont want to have sex with your boyfriend- if you dont want to you dont want to- no reason necessary. If he has a need to have sex because he's stressed he should damn well just go and pay for it and not bother having the pretext of having a girlfriend

Reply 55

QI Elf

Yeah, I agree with the above posts.

He raped you.

Reply 56

Christian_j

I'm surprised nobody has suggested that this might be classed as rape [sarcasm]

:biggrin:

Reply 57

rummang

Jamin

That is utter ******** and wherever you read that is wrong, in fact i'd love to see the source of this information.

The definition of rape is sex without consent. Disregard relationship/marital status, in any situation if a man has sex with a woman without her consent it is rape.

I just did a quick search and found that the defense has been used in many cases and has won. But you're right, it's not something set in stone by laws and it doesn't always stand in court.

Reply 58

Awesomnia

Boys will be boys. :rolleyes:

Reply 59

LouLou815

He raped you. No means no. He has no right to get all stressed out with you when you mention it.

Talk to the police, or at least dump him.
I'm sure you can find someone who will treat you with much more respect.