Ex-Student/Teacher Friendships/Relationships
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When I was in Yr 9 I fell in totally in love with a student science teacher that was doing his PGCE teaching practice at my school. It was love at first sight for me, but unrequited. After he finished his PGCE he went travelling for a year and kept in touch with our tutor group, sending postcards etc. I emailed him quite a lot.
He came back to the school for our Yr 11 so as to do his NQT year. During that year we moved on from a teacher-student relationship. I told him my feelings just after my 16th birthday, we consummated our relationship a few months after that. It was very hard work staying discreet, but luckily my parents knew and supported it. He was 24 then, so an 8 year age gap. My parents met at a similar age and also have an 8yr age gap.
One erotic event I remember was when he did a presentation for Yr 11 assembly. As a popular teacher, I knew quite a few of the girls fancied him. I however, had spent the previous night with him, but no-one knew!
We used to do silly things like wear matching socks to school or he would let me choose his tie in the morning. We were always very close, but very discreet.
The school was quite a bad school with many students not getting their potential, mainly due to too many teachers staying for a few terms and going. Many students had poor motivation. My relationship helped me reach my potential. I ended up with 10A*'s and 2B's at GCSE (he also passed his NQT fortunately). I think many students could also attribute their grade to the good motivational relationship he had with the whole year group.
After school he stayed one more term there, so as to get his 5K golden hello, I went to college to study Bio, Chem, Phys and general studies. That Christmas the golden hello paid for our first ultra romantic holiday to Paris and Rome ;-)
He started a PhD in Biological Sciences while I finished college. Our relationship went from strength to strength and I am now at University doing medicine. We plan to get married next year.
Its funny, I sleep with the man who taught me in Yr 9, Yr 11, gave me extra home tutoring for my A Levels and still occasionally teaches me at Med School, when he is a lab demonstrator for the bioscience modules!
Had this affair been made public, while we were at school, he would have been arrested and my heart would certainly have been broken.
Sure, some of the young PE teachers at school were pervy, indeed I know two girls who had "snogging sessions in the cupboard" with one of them. My science teacher wasn't like that, totally professional - we just both fell totally in love.
I think there are creepy teachers who should be stopped, but in the case of genuine respectable love, where is the harm?
I simply couldn't imagine life with out "my sir"
He came back to the school for our Yr 11 so as to do his NQT year. During that year we moved on from a teacher-student relationship. I told him my feelings just after my 16th birthday, we consummated our relationship a few months after that. It was very hard work staying discreet, but luckily my parents knew and supported it. He was 24 then, so an 8 year age gap. My parents met at a similar age and also have an 8yr age gap.
One erotic event I remember was when he did a presentation for Yr 11 assembly. As a popular teacher, I knew quite a few of the girls fancied him. I however, had spent the previous night with him, but no-one knew!
We used to do silly things like wear matching socks to school or he would let me choose his tie in the morning. We were always very close, but very discreet.
The school was quite a bad school with many students not getting their potential, mainly due to too many teachers staying for a few terms and going. Many students had poor motivation. My relationship helped me reach my potential. I ended up with 10A*'s and 2B's at GCSE (he also passed his NQT fortunately). I think many students could also attribute their grade to the good motivational relationship he had with the whole year group.
After school he stayed one more term there, so as to get his 5K golden hello, I went to college to study Bio, Chem, Phys and general studies. That Christmas the golden hello paid for our first ultra romantic holiday to Paris and Rome ;-)
He started a PhD in Biological Sciences while I finished college. Our relationship went from strength to strength and I am now at University doing medicine. We plan to get married next year.
Its funny, I sleep with the man who taught me in Yr 9, Yr 11, gave me extra home tutoring for my A Levels and still occasionally teaches me at Med School, when he is a lab demonstrator for the bioscience modules!
Had this affair been made public, while we were at school, he would have been arrested and my heart would certainly have been broken.
Sure, some of the young PE teachers at school were pervy, indeed I know two girls who had "snogging sessions in the cupboard" with one of them. My science teacher wasn't like that, totally professional - we just both fell totally in love.
I think there are creepy teachers who should be stopped, but in the case of genuine respectable love, where is the harm?
I simply couldn't imagine life with out "my sir"
@lucy.science - Hi, I'm just curious and I hope you don't mind me asking, how did you tell him about your feelings towards him?
Thanks
Thanks
Original post by musicprincess
@lucy.science - Hi, I'm just curious and I hope you don't mind me asking, how did you tell him about your feelings towards him?
Thanks
Thanks
No problem. I didn't tell him at school - not the most romantic place to do that! Lol.
He was a young teacher, myself a very keen student - basically we became friends. We just talked about everything at school, well not quite everything but we spoke a lot. I used to go to study after school in his lab/classroom pretty much most days in year 11 and even if I didn't go or have his class that day I would find away to speak with him. If I was off ill, then I would text one of my best friends who would pass on a message and a message would come back via my friend. Nothing at this stage just, like friends.
It was a very very strong friendship - still is. We have been together 8 years now, I have known him for 10-11 years. Like soul mates!
If it's going to happen you will find a way!
PS I have PM'ed you the full story (which has been posted elsewhere)
This is my story:
I had a relationship with a science teacher at my secondary school. We are still together now, 7 years after first meeting and 5 and a half years after our first kiss!
My secondary school was in the south of England, in the suburbs of one of the large cities. In the county league tables it was mid ranking, so is far from perfect with issues ranging from pupil motivation levels, behaviour issues and poor staff retention. The school did have a few key redeeming features, most notably a strong bond between students, that often lasted long after leaving school.
In Year 9 (aged 14) I had a student science teacher take my class for the spring and easter terms. I had always liked science at primary school, but due to too many bad supply teachers or regular teachers who would stay only long enough so as to secure a reference for a better job else where I had lost interest and motivation.
This new student teacher, aged 22 at the time, changed everything for myself and the whole class. He worked under our regular teacher, Mr Smith, who was actually a really good teacher - close to retirement but we had given him a hard time simply because as a class we had become disaffected with school. I think Mr Smith was also a lucky break for this new teacher, being old school his philosophy was "what ever worked". I think had our student teacher been mentored by a more modern younger career type, as liked by government inspectors, he may not of been so confident to inspire us all, in the way he did.
This student teacher had recently finished a biology degree and was really keen on dissection and freakish stories about what weird parasites can do to you. Totally off syllabus but his lessons seemed to capture the imagination of the whole class. Even some of the boys who "hated school" often bunking science lessons, suddenly wanted to come along. In the minds of us girls, some of the young male PE teachers were "fitter" in the traditional sense of the word, but this young science teacher 5'9" blonde hair, blue eyes, who obviously who used a gym lots and kept himself in shape, had an amazing sense of humour and was just so kind. Quite a few of my class fancied him, or certainly liked him in a way you like a big brother or member of the family. We all worked for him, we all wanted to do our best for him. I however, very much fell in love with him. Looking back the moment he walked into S9 (our science lab) I felt something I never had felt before, or will ever feel again.
As a 14 year old, I was becoming aware of my body - and this student teacher was always very professional, but that didn't stop me taking the opportunity to brush myself against him if I could, or stay behind at the end of a lesson to ask him questions. I had a group of girlfriends that together we would always try and talk to him if he was on duty in the playground. He volunteered to help the cross country team, of which I was a member. I vividly remember the time we had a cross country competition and he was in the back of the minibus with the students (the other two teachers in the front) and I sat next to him. Both of us in shorts, his bare legs against mine, It felt electric.
He was a popular teacher, he took some year 9 and year 10 classes during his training - I think 99% of the students through he was great. He use to joke about with the boys, playing practical jokes on some of the naughtier ones so as to win them around. I know my close friends knew I fancied him, but in the mix is was a very private thing. When he finished his teaching practice part of his PGCE, half way through the summer term and told us he would be leaving the school, the collective cry from the class was was substantial. I myself, nearly burst into tears. Every day I had come to school, positive and motivated. Just seeing my favourite teacher enter or leave the staff room, walk down the corridor or even hear other teachers or student mention his name would send my heart beating. This was a dark, day - how could this happen? (Little did I know that this was how teachers were trained, and he had to go back to University to complete some assignments). The next day at school, he wasn't there anymore - gone! I bunked school and went home and cried, like I had never done before. I had had a few "boyfriends" before, and the breakups had been hard, but this was an emotional fall of everest proportions. He wasn't even a boyfriend, he was just one of my teachers.
I stopped doing my school work, lost motivation, stopped eating - even to the point of my mother noticing. My mother eventually coaxed out of me what was wrong and I told he exactly what I felt. Surprisingly, my mother was really understanding about it. She even managed to say, "well he can't be that much older than you, your father is 9 years older than me, it's not that strange, maybe your paths will cross again, maybe they won't" We talked and talked, and my mother let me own my feelings and not feel embarrassed about them. I am so glad she listen to me a spoke with me like that. For the next few weeks, I managed to hold my emotion, but so as to be positive about my true love, I took every opportunity to get myself close to him by reading science books and watching science TV shows that I am sure he would have been watching. I did find out later that he preferred western movies, anything with Clint Eastwood in, rather than David Attenborough natural history documentaries. Had I know, I would have been watching western movies too!
That summer we had a science/geography/leisure and tourism field trip to North Wales. Nearly thirty percent of my year group were going, about 90 students in total. For such a trip there would be a need for quite a few teachers. I didn't realise it at the time, but that student science teacher was also a qualified Mountain Leader and outdoors enthusiast. The school had asked him to help out!
It was during this 10 day field trip that I really got to talk to this teacher and I got the slightest of hints that any feeling wasn't just one way. On the climb up Mt Snowdon, my favourite teacher was the group back marker. I let myself fall back so that I could talk to him the whole way. He was such a gentleman and held my hand over styles and gave me the confidence to try some of the trickier rock scrambles. All the students on this trip loved talking to this teacher and I think the other staff really appreciated that he had a way with everyone. If he asked, even the naughtiest boys to stop mucking about they generally would oblige. He just commanded such respect. There was also another fit young male PE teacher on the trip as well as 5 other older teachers. This PE teacher was also really popular with everyone, many girls fancied him too. In a way I think the other teachers were perhaps most concerned, if there was any concern, about the PE teacher. The young science teacher, who was often talking about different species of birds and animals and looking for fossils, perhaps came across as too sensible to raise concerns.
On our last evening of the field trip we had a big barbecue and students were allowed to stay up late and party. We could also go for walks around the local area, so long as we stayed together on paths. The science teacher decided to form a small group to go off to look for bats later at dusk, so myself and 2 other students (my best girlfriend and a boy from our class) decided joined him. We went looking for barbastelle bats, which occupy the ecological niche that swallows do in the day time, notably over rivers and bodys of water, catching the insects that fly there. This walk alongside the stream into the woods was romantic, to say the least. At several points we crossed small streams using stepping stones. This gave me an opportunity to hold the hands of my true love quite a few times as he helped me across. We had flashlights and two bat-detectors so we could form 2 groups of two. I stayed with the teacher, the other two - who seemed to forming a relationship of their own, were happy to fan out. There was a full moon that evening, with just the sound of the stream and the gentle rustle of the trees it was a beautiful night. I spoke to the teacher about his plans and found out he would be taking a year out to travel. I was excited for him, with his plans of visiting China, Chile, Russia and Japan. On the other hand I was scared I would never see him again. I told him then, that we was the best teacher ever and he must come back to teach me. I told also him he was my favourite person. He told me I was his favourite student because I asked lost of questions, and sometimes argued with him!
The coach trip back to school was long. Luckily I got to sit next to my true love and he had an iPod (real luxury back in 2003!) with double headphones. I listened to his music all the way back. The songs, on that iPod have in effect become the soundtrack to me life. During the last evening I had managed to tell as many other students as possible about the teachers plans for travel. Just before the bus we were on, got back, not sure how it happened, the whole group of students started chanting "we want Sir, we want Sir!" Making it totally obvious that my year group wanted him as our teacher!
At school, when I got off the bus, I was met by my father. I insisted we waited until the teachers had finished supervising the unpacking of the busses and seeing the students on their way. I took the opportunity to introduce my father to my favourite teacher. I couldn't be sure my mother had told my father what I had told her, but either way my father instantly took a like to him. My father said nothing when I went to hug my teacher goodbye. I think there was a tear in his eye too. Totally unprofessionally, my teacher gave me his iPod, said he wouldn't need it on his travels. Teachers aren't supposed to give students presents, but he made it kind of OK by saying that I was to use it to download and listen to sciency podcasts! I asked him again to come back, to our school he said he would try. We said goodbye and as he walked towards his car, I watched through the tears in my eyes. I went back with my father, he didn't say a word, nor did I. It was the loneliest walk of my life.
On the last day of the holiday I was shopping in town with my mother and providence may have it, my favourite teacher was also in town. He was in the Boots store stocking up on stuff for his travels. He looked gorgeous in his travel shorts, with stubble and muscles. I introduced him to my mum and they had a chat about school and where he was travelling to. I will love my mum forever for this: she suggested we swap email addresses so we could stay in touch. That we did. We exchanged quite a few emails, he sent me photos by email of really wonderful places (this also helped move my Geography predicted grade form a B to an A*). We spoke on Skype twice, once when he was in Australia and once when he was Chile. On my birthday, he sent a kimono, fan, chocolates and other souvenirs from Japan. This wasn't total favouritism - the whole class got a postcard from all his destinations (the tutor group notice-board looked pretty amazing by the end) and at least two parcels of souvenirs. Awesome teacher.
I am not sure, even now if this was done to surprise me or out of professionalism, my true love hadn't told me he would be back at my school for my Year 11 so as to do his NQT year. Fortuity had it, that not only was he to be my science teacher for 6 lessons a week but he was also my form tutor!!! Year 10, had been boring at school, I had worked hard because I had promised I would, but there was no real passion. Too many temporary teachers, who didn't connect with the kids. I think it fortuitous, perhaps even for many in the year group, that he returned. I hadn't taken too much care in the morning of the first day of that term, I wasn't expecting anyone to impress, my makeup was functional. To have my true love waiting for us at the start of tutor period on the first day - he was wearing a brand new suit, looked very smart - yet had not necessarily aged, looked wider, worldly, very sexy, authoritative. If I could have, I would have grabbed him, kissed him, given my body to him there and then. I wanted to - instinctive, but I just shyly smiled at him as I walked through the door.
Science lessons were fun, we all learn't lots. My true love, was due to inexperience, probably not technically the best teacher in the school, for his style was really quirky - he did hold students attention through interest. We did more practicals that we had ever done before, friends with other teachers seemed to do far less. His charm was that he respected us all, trusted us to learn by exploring. He set us lots of work, stuff to learn, mini tests, presentations to prepare. For me it was a labour of love. For the rest of the class, even the laziest boys, wanted to be praised by this man. On his trips he had taken thousands upon thousands of photos, pictures that he used in his lessons. Snakes in Australia, scorpions in Africa, plants from Japan and always pictures of something crazy he had seen for fun. Tutor time was good too, much less serious than other tutors groups. Best of all, my favourite teacher stayed late after school every day to help any student who wanted help with science (or any subject). Many from our tutor group took advantage of this, including myself. It was often during this informal sessions in the afternoons and early evenings that I really understood again why I loved this man, in a way that I was certain no other year 11 girl could understand. Often it was just myself and maybe another student or two. This extra help we got, allowed myself and many other student to push grades to their potential and beyond. If there was a crazy or even rude way to remember something, this teacher would know it.
As the autumn term progressed my true love would confide in me during our after school study sessions, nothing personal, but professional things. He explained the stress he was under trying to finish his NQT year. He explained that when there was another teacher in the room he was being observed, like a driving test. He had passed all theses assessments with our class but was worried about a Yr. 8 class he was taking, due to the behaviour issues in the class. It was quite apparent the Principal of the school liked this teacher, he was popular with the kids, thus popular with the parents… The Head of Science, however, was a late 30's very officious lady. Maybe she had originally fancied my true love, but it was apparent she did think highly of him now. She was insiting he be formally observed with the behaviourally hardest kids in the school. The head of science didn't like his style, wanted him to use more government approved methods (which in my opinion meant boring lessons). When I understood the implications, that should my true love fail 2 lesson observation his chances of staying with us for the most important year of our school lives would be diminished. Not least that it would be hard to see the man I loved, I had to act. Together with some friends, their siblings, from across the school in many year groups, we schemed. How could we get those year 8's to be as good as gold for our teacher? I had one very promiscuous friend of mine in year 11 offer to sleep with the boys, should they tow the line, to some of the boys suggesting offering them free cigarettes and booze to help out! In the end we organised that the class of year 8's (who behaved more like a street gang outside school) would meet us at a recreation group near the school one evening. The toughest year 11's, myself and some others gave them a pep talk. A deal was struck, if year 11 heard that I was happy with that year 8 class, they would be given "privileges" in school by year 11, as would they if they gave the head of science hell in her lessons with them. Should the counter be true, then Yr. 11 would find reasons to make their stay at school and in the areas around town where they liked to hang out, hell. Simple; carrot and stick.
In late November of that year, I spoke with my true love at one of the after school revisions sessions in his lab and we discussed the year 8's. He couldn't understand how all of a student they had become putty in his hands. Their books were exemplary, most did their homework, yet for other subjects they did none and he had been observed by the Principle and County Inspector with them and had passed with flying colours. I let it slip, some of our scheme. The look, my favourite teacher gave me, I will remember for the rest of my life. After this, my favourite teacher became year 11's favourite teacher, and we were his favourite kids. One and the same. Teacher and students, when it is like that it is almost a sacred relationship.
At Christmas, we were separated. I gave my true love a christmas card on the last day of term and CD with my favourite tracks on it. He gave both the tutor group and the whole class a small box of sweets each. I hadn't been forgotten, I was given a small parcel, obviously a book. It turned out to be Jostein Gaarder's "Sophie’s World" - it really got me thinking about knowledge and how we look at the world. It remains one of my favourite books to this day.
I had been first kissed by a boy when I was in Yr. 8. Nothing memorable, more he grabbed me and thrust his tongue into my mouth. In the early part of Yr. 9, I had been to a few parties with friends at boys houses and had been kissed with boys trying to put their hands down my top and elsewhere. One two occasions during years 8 and 9 I had had relationships with a few boys that had lasted a few weeks. Usually just meant they had exclusive rights to grope me at house parties! I had often fancied boys, often ones older than myself, but this fancying would come and go. I guess even in Year 8, I had realised what many of my peers were doing, wasn't reality for me, my heart wasn't in it. Seeing that student teacher just after Christmas in Yr. 9 changed everything. My dreams, every night, became intimate, passionate, emotional. In my heart, he was always with me. There could be no-one else.
My 16th birthday was in late January. My parents wanted me to have a large party, to celebrate the special occasion. Of-course, if there was to be a guest list of only one, I knew who exactly that would be! I openly discussed this with my mother, who helpfully suggested we ask all my close friends from Yr. 11, together with some of the most popular young teachers from the school. She would of-course, make this above board and get the Principal's consent. In the end I had my true love, one of the male PE NQT's, a female NQT from geography a female music teacher and about 70 or so of my best friends form Yr. 11. We used the village hall, with disco, food, games and every one in fancy dress. I understood the teachers would probably spend some talking with my parents and the other adults, but also with us. I danced a bit with the PE NQT and as much as I could with my true love. I did my best to not make it obvious, but I made sure his hand brished my breasts at least once and hold my bottom quite a few times. During the slow dances I held him close, I was starting to feel 16.
Back at school, my emotions were getting too much. Sometimes it felt like I was playing baseball, sending my feelings out, getting no return. I needed tennis, love set and match. Most of Yr. 11, would have not said a thing if I had been overtly seeing that teacher. Most of the guys by now considered him a friend first, their teacher second. The girls all thought he was lovely. He was one of us. I did realise that maybe I should continue to be discreet with expressing my feelings publicly but somehow I needed to get the direct message to my science teacher, how exactly I felt about him. I spoke with my best girlfriend, who was in my tutor group but had a different, less awesome, science teacher. I got her to speak to him directly, act as the messenger. She did, but the result was not what I wanted to hear. The message I got back that he was flattered, but couldn't and didn't want to be with me. My world went black.
Maybe as revenge, maybe out of madness, the following week, the first time since I was in Yr. 9 I went on date with a boy. I went to town with a guy from college ( a year older than me) who had gone to the neighbouring school. He was a friend of a friends brother. I enjoyed the film, I enjoyed talking. We kissed, which initially was OK, but when his hands started to wander and he tried to place my hands where he wanted them, I jolted. This was certainly not where I wanted to be, I need to be honest with myself. Had my dreams of the past two years meant nothing? Hurting this guys feelings, maybe, I had to leave quickly and end that relationship before it had even started. I would try directness this time, with no messenger, I would say what needed to be said.
The following day was a Friday. Revisions session on Fridays, as could be expected were not well attended. I would be alone. As my true love marked books, I spoke with him. I told him about the previous night, what had happened - not expressing my feelings yet - I wanted to see his reaction. Nothing was said, but I could tell in his eyes, I am sure I could, of perhaps a pang of jealousy or was it that he just wanted to protect me? I asked him what did he feel. He didn't answer. He just explained that because he was a teacher, in a position of trust, even if I was 16 it was illegal with the threat of imprisonment, for him to have any type of non professional relationship with me. It would be borderline legal if he was at a different school, more acceptable if he wasn't a teacher at all. He didn't want to go to jail and he wanted to be around to see Yr. 11 get their GCSE's. He did agree that we needed to talk about this, but felt school wasn't the right place. He said I could join him hiking the following afternoon if I wanted. He gave me a time and a place to be, I promised I would be there.
When I got home, I spoke with my mother. She felt his words about the law and responsibility were correct. She felt he was a gentleman, very professional, she felt many weaker teachers, perhaps suggesting the NQT PE teacher that was at my party would probably not be so hesitant towards a direct invitation like I had been giving. She felt it was something I should be grateful for, that I should be prepared to wait. It would only be 6 months more before I had my GCSE results and was no longer his student. True as it maybe, I wanted him so badly, now. My mother gave her blessing to me meeting him on the hike, indeed, she would give me a lift there.
There is large oak tree on the village green in the neighbouring village, it was under here that I was to wait. I was dropped off a few minutes early, so from under that great tree I could watch my true love walk down across the neighbouring hill, towards the village and towards me. When he arrived I ran to him, put my arms around him and hugged him. We then walked westward towards the woodland on the next hill, saying little as we walked. After about an hours brisk walk we arrived at the footpath that leads along the river. Despite it being a saturday, on a clear day in mid February, there were few people about. The path led into some wooded land beside the river, a secluded spot, bound by nature and the serene stillness of that English chalk stream. It was here that we stopped on a park bench, set into the bank at the edge of the river. The seat was dedicated to an Arthur and Rose, who had passed away some thirty years before with their epitaph simply stating that time and tide await no one.
I told, my teacher, in my own words that since Yr. 9, the moment I saw him, all I could hold in my heart was him. I told him that I might be young, but at 16 I was sure this was what I felt and I was sure this was a feeling that time wouldn't change. He stated that when taking my Yr. 9 class he had picked me out as special, there being something connecting us, but had done nothing because he felt it was untimely to act. We held hands, with tears welling in my eyes due to emotion I hugged him. I told him I loved him and that I always would. We kissed. I have always regard this as my first proper kiss. It was intoxicating, every part of my nervous system tingled, my heart raced. It was perfect. I can still taste that moment now, his breath, his scent, the texture of his checks against mine. It must have been a good hour we spent, in the tranquility of that afternoon holding, caressing, kissing.
We walked on for another two hours, towards another rustic southern English village and into a back street lined with small Victorian terraced houses. This is where he lived, it was smaller and cosier than my parents house but inviting nonetheless. Inside his house, the lounge had all the toys of a single male: large TV, piles of DVD's, piles of books and magazines, radio controlled cars, game consoles. The dining room had piles of school science exercise books, including mine! The kitchen was simple, not messy, but I was already thinking how I would make it more homely.
I guess we both knew what we were doing was right, in the spiritual or human sense of the word. We embraced again, and lowered ourselves onto one of the large couches in the lounge. We kissed more insistently and unlike with my previous experiences it felt natural when my hands started to explore his body, and his began to explore mine. We undressed, slowly - I had no embarrassment, it felt totally natural. With his lips and fingers he bought me to orgasm, the biggest of my life, thus far - sensations I never knew were possible. I kissed him all over, he was, like me, totally naked, there was nowhere I didn't kiss and caress. This was very much a first time for me, but it was lead by passion. I took him into my mouth, and he climaxed there and I swallowed without a second thought. Having listened to some of the conversations of my friends in Yr. 11, I knew lots of things even if I hadn't tried them for myself. This wasn't a physical experience, however, it was more emotional, metaphysical. The collision of two souls.
As we relaxed in our mutual post orgasm repose, we talked. We discussed sex, I wanted to do it there and then, but he suggested we wait. I think he must have gathered, without me saying anything, that I was still technically a virgin. He felt it was something you only lost once and we had plenty of time and we should make it ultra special when it did happen. We also discussed how we should be. He told me, we mustn't get caught and it had to remain a secret for another 5 months. I swore not to tell anyone about this. Since I did appreciate the risks he was going to and that I had waiting all my early teens for this moment, to have it and hold it like this was, it felt romantic. We spoke about how at school he must still be the teacher, and we would have to find imaginary or secretive ways of expressing our love in public. For a moment, this covert love seemed a challenge, when compared to some of my class mates who spend every break time and some lesson time holding hands with their other half. Thinking about it there as I rested my head on his muscly chest, the furtive messages would actually be a lot of fun.
We took a shower together, and ate some food, then he drove me home. I invited him to speak with my parents, hesitant at first he relented. Over tea and cakes we talked about our walk and his collection of western DVD's (something he instantly had in common with my father) and school. Of course we didn't mention what we did on the couch, but we didn't need to; It was our moment in time. After my true love had left my mother and father both said what a lucky person I was. Later that evening my mother suggested she make an appointment for me to see the doctor, now that I was 16 and getting more independant I should be on the pill.
At school, with 3 months until the commencement of the GCSE's final exams all of Yr. 11 were working hard. On Friday and Saturdays I would often visit the one I loved. We would go hiking, then I would do my coursework for other subjects while he marked work or planned lessons. I even was taught how to mark exercise books. Not sure some of my friends would be pleased that I had first marked their work! We ate together, watch TV, played games, and got naked together. At school we found fun ways of letting each other know about our love. Sometimes we would have matching socks, or he would in my lesson use alternate colours of whiteboard pen for the letters in the lesson title, or try and mention the Great White Shark 13 times in a chemistry lesson. Only I knew why he was really doing this. I would often try and walk past his lab, even if it meant taking a detour when I went between lessons, we just found fun ways of secretly communicating what we felt. Probably more fun than being overt and letting everyone know.
During the Easter vacation, we had GCSE revision camp the first week - to which I went and so did he - more time together. In the second week, we went camping on the Isle of Wight for 4 days. Under the covers of a 3 season sleeping bag, in the mild dampness of early April, we made love for the first time. Waiting had been good, overlooking the beauty of Tennyson down, our bodies merged. For most of those four days we made love. The first time, was like I expected, somewhat painful, thereafter, when we were joined and he filled me with his warmth, I felt complete. I think with the magnetic attraction that was between us, my mother was wise to get me on the pill. Though honestly how I felt then, getting pregnant would not have bothered me. My man had a job, and income a house. I was infinitely better off that some of my girlfriends who had become pregnant by other Yr. 11's.
During the exam's in June, I slept at my lovers house the night before each exam. he would give me a lift into school, dropping me off in a side road so we didn't appear together. I was massaged and made love to the night before each paper. I was totally relaxed and prepared. The school prom was fun. We agreed it was the last big get together for all my friends and year group so I should have fun. My lover was also a very popular, teacher for all Yr. 11, it was also his chance to say goodbye to all. We danced and partied as a big group. Our love was still a big secret. By mid August when the exam results were out, we had two bits of good news: he had passed his NQT and I had got 10 A* and 2 B's at GCSE. This was far better than the school was expecting, but many in my lovers tutor group and science classes exceeded expectations. When pupils have the love, of the teacher, and there are many types of love and when the teacher has the love of the pupils great mountains can be moved. My man had inspired many to get C's in the their GCSE science or other subjects when they had been written off in years past. My parents were ecstatic, but had I not found this man in Yr. 9, what personally, would I have got; what would my outlook be?
In the September of that year I went to college, to study Biology, Chemistry, Physics and General Studies - with a little prompting from the one I love. He stayed at the school for one more term, so as to consolidate his teaching practise and teach without any helpful Year 11's around who can sort out unruly Yr. 8's. At Christmas he collected his Golden Hello (which paid for, among other things, our Christmas vacation to Paris and Rome) then rejoined the University so as to start a PhD in biological sciences. With a PhD student on hand, to help, my A Level's become good fun. I ended with two A's and two B's which were sufficient for me study medicine. That is where I am now, in the 3rd year of medical school, at one of the top UK universities, living with the man who I have loved since I was nearly 14, who has taught me as a Yr. 9, Yr.11, tutored me as an A Level student. Now I am a medical undergraduate he is even helping me in lab practicals for bioscience modules!
I am now 22, he is 29 and starting to lose his hair. I love him like no other. We plan to marry next year - I think some of the golden hello from his teaching even helped pay for the engagement ring! My parents adore him, his family love me. His PhD best buddy, has a girlfriend eighth years older than him. When we go out as a four, does age really matter in the grand scheme of things?
Had the letter of the law of the land, known and intervened, my man could be in prison, my world destroyed and I would most certainly not be where I am now, nor would many of my compatriots form school be achieving as they have been. I suspect the Principal of the school had suspicions, but said nothing because it was private and he was old-school. My parents were wise enough to see the virtue in this not the media induced fear. There are most certainly predatory males out there amongst teaching staff, but my man certainly wasn't one of them. I could not imagine life any other way, my story is probably unique but not unusual.
There is a folklore story from Japan, about life partners being connected by strands of red silk. Most people take a lot to unravel their destiny. How lucky am I, at aged 14 to find mine?
Trust you instincts, trust your heart and be single minded, there is love in the classroom.
I had a relationship with a science teacher at my secondary school. We are still together now, 7 years after first meeting and 5 and a half years after our first kiss!
My secondary school was in the south of England, in the suburbs of one of the large cities. In the county league tables it was mid ranking, so is far from perfect with issues ranging from pupil motivation levels, behaviour issues and poor staff retention. The school did have a few key redeeming features, most notably a strong bond between students, that often lasted long after leaving school.
In Year 9 (aged 14) I had a student science teacher take my class for the spring and easter terms. I had always liked science at primary school, but due to too many bad supply teachers or regular teachers who would stay only long enough so as to secure a reference for a better job else where I had lost interest and motivation.
This new student teacher, aged 22 at the time, changed everything for myself and the whole class. He worked under our regular teacher, Mr Smith, who was actually a really good teacher - close to retirement but we had given him a hard time simply because as a class we had become disaffected with school. I think Mr Smith was also a lucky break for this new teacher, being old school his philosophy was "what ever worked". I think had our student teacher been mentored by a more modern younger career type, as liked by government inspectors, he may not of been so confident to inspire us all, in the way he did.
This student teacher had recently finished a biology degree and was really keen on dissection and freakish stories about what weird parasites can do to you. Totally off syllabus but his lessons seemed to capture the imagination of the whole class. Even some of the boys who "hated school" often bunking science lessons, suddenly wanted to come along. In the minds of us girls, some of the young male PE teachers were "fitter" in the traditional sense of the word, but this young science teacher 5'9" blonde hair, blue eyes, who obviously who used a gym lots and kept himself in shape, had an amazing sense of humour and was just so kind. Quite a few of my class fancied him, or certainly liked him in a way you like a big brother or member of the family. We all worked for him, we all wanted to do our best for him. I however, very much fell in love with him. Looking back the moment he walked into S9 (our science lab) I felt something I never had felt before, or will ever feel again.
As a 14 year old, I was becoming aware of my body - and this student teacher was always very professional, but that didn't stop me taking the opportunity to brush myself against him if I could, or stay behind at the end of a lesson to ask him questions. I had a group of girlfriends that together we would always try and talk to him if he was on duty in the playground. He volunteered to help the cross country team, of which I was a member. I vividly remember the time we had a cross country competition and he was in the back of the minibus with the students (the other two teachers in the front) and I sat next to him. Both of us in shorts, his bare legs against mine, It felt electric.
He was a popular teacher, he took some year 9 and year 10 classes during his training - I think 99% of the students through he was great. He use to joke about with the boys, playing practical jokes on some of the naughtier ones so as to win them around. I know my close friends knew I fancied him, but in the mix is was a very private thing. When he finished his teaching practice part of his PGCE, half way through the summer term and told us he would be leaving the school, the collective cry from the class was was substantial. I myself, nearly burst into tears. Every day I had come to school, positive and motivated. Just seeing my favourite teacher enter or leave the staff room, walk down the corridor or even hear other teachers or student mention his name would send my heart beating. This was a dark, day - how could this happen? (Little did I know that this was how teachers were trained, and he had to go back to University to complete some assignments). The next day at school, he wasn't there anymore - gone! I bunked school and went home and cried, like I had never done before. I had had a few "boyfriends" before, and the breakups had been hard, but this was an emotional fall of everest proportions. He wasn't even a boyfriend, he was just one of my teachers.
I stopped doing my school work, lost motivation, stopped eating - even to the point of my mother noticing. My mother eventually coaxed out of me what was wrong and I told he exactly what I felt. Surprisingly, my mother was really understanding about it. She even managed to say, "well he can't be that much older than you, your father is 9 years older than me, it's not that strange, maybe your paths will cross again, maybe they won't" We talked and talked, and my mother let me own my feelings and not feel embarrassed about them. I am so glad she listen to me a spoke with me like that. For the next few weeks, I managed to hold my emotion, but so as to be positive about my true love, I took every opportunity to get myself close to him by reading science books and watching science TV shows that I am sure he would have been watching. I did find out later that he preferred western movies, anything with Clint Eastwood in, rather than David Attenborough natural history documentaries. Had I know, I would have been watching western movies too!
That summer we had a science/geography/leisure and tourism field trip to North Wales. Nearly thirty percent of my year group were going, about 90 students in total. For such a trip there would be a need for quite a few teachers. I didn't realise it at the time, but that student science teacher was also a qualified Mountain Leader and outdoors enthusiast. The school had asked him to help out!
It was during this 10 day field trip that I really got to talk to this teacher and I got the slightest of hints that any feeling wasn't just one way. On the climb up Mt Snowdon, my favourite teacher was the group back marker. I let myself fall back so that I could talk to him the whole way. He was such a gentleman and held my hand over styles and gave me the confidence to try some of the trickier rock scrambles. All the students on this trip loved talking to this teacher and I think the other staff really appreciated that he had a way with everyone. If he asked, even the naughtiest boys to stop mucking about they generally would oblige. He just commanded such respect. There was also another fit young male PE teacher on the trip as well as 5 other older teachers. This PE teacher was also really popular with everyone, many girls fancied him too. In a way I think the other teachers were perhaps most concerned, if there was any concern, about the PE teacher. The young science teacher, who was often talking about different species of birds and animals and looking for fossils, perhaps came across as too sensible to raise concerns.
On our last evening of the field trip we had a big barbecue and students were allowed to stay up late and party. We could also go for walks around the local area, so long as we stayed together on paths. The science teacher decided to form a small group to go off to look for bats later at dusk, so myself and 2 other students (my best girlfriend and a boy from our class) decided joined him. We went looking for barbastelle bats, which occupy the ecological niche that swallows do in the day time, notably over rivers and bodys of water, catching the insects that fly there. This walk alongside the stream into the woods was romantic, to say the least. At several points we crossed small streams using stepping stones. This gave me an opportunity to hold the hands of my true love quite a few times as he helped me across. We had flashlights and two bat-detectors so we could form 2 groups of two. I stayed with the teacher, the other two - who seemed to forming a relationship of their own, were happy to fan out. There was a full moon that evening, with just the sound of the stream and the gentle rustle of the trees it was a beautiful night. I spoke to the teacher about his plans and found out he would be taking a year out to travel. I was excited for him, with his plans of visiting China, Chile, Russia and Japan. On the other hand I was scared I would never see him again. I told him then, that we was the best teacher ever and he must come back to teach me. I told also him he was my favourite person. He told me I was his favourite student because I asked lost of questions, and sometimes argued with him!
The coach trip back to school was long. Luckily I got to sit next to my true love and he had an iPod (real luxury back in 2003!) with double headphones. I listened to his music all the way back. The songs, on that iPod have in effect become the soundtrack to me life. During the last evening I had managed to tell as many other students as possible about the teachers plans for travel. Just before the bus we were on, got back, not sure how it happened, the whole group of students started chanting "we want Sir, we want Sir!" Making it totally obvious that my year group wanted him as our teacher!
At school, when I got off the bus, I was met by my father. I insisted we waited until the teachers had finished supervising the unpacking of the busses and seeing the students on their way. I took the opportunity to introduce my father to my favourite teacher. I couldn't be sure my mother had told my father what I had told her, but either way my father instantly took a like to him. My father said nothing when I went to hug my teacher goodbye. I think there was a tear in his eye too. Totally unprofessionally, my teacher gave me his iPod, said he wouldn't need it on his travels. Teachers aren't supposed to give students presents, but he made it kind of OK by saying that I was to use it to download and listen to sciency podcasts! I asked him again to come back, to our school he said he would try. We said goodbye and as he walked towards his car, I watched through the tears in my eyes. I went back with my father, he didn't say a word, nor did I. It was the loneliest walk of my life.
On the last day of the holiday I was shopping in town with my mother and providence may have it, my favourite teacher was also in town. He was in the Boots store stocking up on stuff for his travels. He looked gorgeous in his travel shorts, with stubble and muscles. I introduced him to my mum and they had a chat about school and where he was travelling to. I will love my mum forever for this: she suggested we swap email addresses so we could stay in touch. That we did. We exchanged quite a few emails, he sent me photos by email of really wonderful places (this also helped move my Geography predicted grade form a B to an A*). We spoke on Skype twice, once when he was in Australia and once when he was Chile. On my birthday, he sent a kimono, fan, chocolates and other souvenirs from Japan. This wasn't total favouritism - the whole class got a postcard from all his destinations (the tutor group notice-board looked pretty amazing by the end) and at least two parcels of souvenirs. Awesome teacher.
I am not sure, even now if this was done to surprise me or out of professionalism, my true love hadn't told me he would be back at my school for my Year 11 so as to do his NQT year. Fortuity had it, that not only was he to be my science teacher for 6 lessons a week but he was also my form tutor!!! Year 10, had been boring at school, I had worked hard because I had promised I would, but there was no real passion. Too many temporary teachers, who didn't connect with the kids. I think it fortuitous, perhaps even for many in the year group, that he returned. I hadn't taken too much care in the morning of the first day of that term, I wasn't expecting anyone to impress, my makeup was functional. To have my true love waiting for us at the start of tutor period on the first day - he was wearing a brand new suit, looked very smart - yet had not necessarily aged, looked wider, worldly, very sexy, authoritative. If I could have, I would have grabbed him, kissed him, given my body to him there and then. I wanted to - instinctive, but I just shyly smiled at him as I walked through the door.
Science lessons were fun, we all learn't lots. My true love, was due to inexperience, probably not technically the best teacher in the school, for his style was really quirky - he did hold students attention through interest. We did more practicals that we had ever done before, friends with other teachers seemed to do far less. His charm was that he respected us all, trusted us to learn by exploring. He set us lots of work, stuff to learn, mini tests, presentations to prepare. For me it was a labour of love. For the rest of the class, even the laziest boys, wanted to be praised by this man. On his trips he had taken thousands upon thousands of photos, pictures that he used in his lessons. Snakes in Australia, scorpions in Africa, plants from Japan and always pictures of something crazy he had seen for fun. Tutor time was good too, much less serious than other tutors groups. Best of all, my favourite teacher stayed late after school every day to help any student who wanted help with science (or any subject). Many from our tutor group took advantage of this, including myself. It was often during this informal sessions in the afternoons and early evenings that I really understood again why I loved this man, in a way that I was certain no other year 11 girl could understand. Often it was just myself and maybe another student or two. This extra help we got, allowed myself and many other student to push grades to their potential and beyond. If there was a crazy or even rude way to remember something, this teacher would know it.
As the autumn term progressed my true love would confide in me during our after school study sessions, nothing personal, but professional things. He explained the stress he was under trying to finish his NQT year. He explained that when there was another teacher in the room he was being observed, like a driving test. He had passed all theses assessments with our class but was worried about a Yr. 8 class he was taking, due to the behaviour issues in the class. It was quite apparent the Principal of the school liked this teacher, he was popular with the kids, thus popular with the parents… The Head of Science, however, was a late 30's very officious lady. Maybe she had originally fancied my true love, but it was apparent she did think highly of him now. She was insiting he be formally observed with the behaviourally hardest kids in the school. The head of science didn't like his style, wanted him to use more government approved methods (which in my opinion meant boring lessons). When I understood the implications, that should my true love fail 2 lesson observation his chances of staying with us for the most important year of our school lives would be diminished. Not least that it would be hard to see the man I loved, I had to act. Together with some friends, their siblings, from across the school in many year groups, we schemed. How could we get those year 8's to be as good as gold for our teacher? I had one very promiscuous friend of mine in year 11 offer to sleep with the boys, should they tow the line, to some of the boys suggesting offering them free cigarettes and booze to help out! In the end we organised that the class of year 8's (who behaved more like a street gang outside school) would meet us at a recreation group near the school one evening. The toughest year 11's, myself and some others gave them a pep talk. A deal was struck, if year 11 heard that I was happy with that year 8 class, they would be given "privileges" in school by year 11, as would they if they gave the head of science hell in her lessons with them. Should the counter be true, then Yr. 11 would find reasons to make their stay at school and in the areas around town where they liked to hang out, hell. Simple; carrot and stick.
In late November of that year, I spoke with my true love at one of the after school revisions sessions in his lab and we discussed the year 8's. He couldn't understand how all of a student they had become putty in his hands. Their books were exemplary, most did their homework, yet for other subjects they did none and he had been observed by the Principle and County Inspector with them and had passed with flying colours. I let it slip, some of our scheme. The look, my favourite teacher gave me, I will remember for the rest of my life. After this, my favourite teacher became year 11's favourite teacher, and we were his favourite kids. One and the same. Teacher and students, when it is like that it is almost a sacred relationship.
At Christmas, we were separated. I gave my true love a christmas card on the last day of term and CD with my favourite tracks on it. He gave both the tutor group and the whole class a small box of sweets each. I hadn't been forgotten, I was given a small parcel, obviously a book. It turned out to be Jostein Gaarder's "Sophie’s World" - it really got me thinking about knowledge and how we look at the world. It remains one of my favourite books to this day.
I had been first kissed by a boy when I was in Yr. 8. Nothing memorable, more he grabbed me and thrust his tongue into my mouth. In the early part of Yr. 9, I had been to a few parties with friends at boys houses and had been kissed with boys trying to put their hands down my top and elsewhere. One two occasions during years 8 and 9 I had had relationships with a few boys that had lasted a few weeks. Usually just meant they had exclusive rights to grope me at house parties! I had often fancied boys, often ones older than myself, but this fancying would come and go. I guess even in Year 8, I had realised what many of my peers were doing, wasn't reality for me, my heart wasn't in it. Seeing that student teacher just after Christmas in Yr. 9 changed everything. My dreams, every night, became intimate, passionate, emotional. In my heart, he was always with me. There could be no-one else.
My 16th birthday was in late January. My parents wanted me to have a large party, to celebrate the special occasion. Of-course, if there was to be a guest list of only one, I knew who exactly that would be! I openly discussed this with my mother, who helpfully suggested we ask all my close friends from Yr. 11, together with some of the most popular young teachers from the school. She would of-course, make this above board and get the Principal's consent. In the end I had my true love, one of the male PE NQT's, a female NQT from geography a female music teacher and about 70 or so of my best friends form Yr. 11. We used the village hall, with disco, food, games and every one in fancy dress. I understood the teachers would probably spend some talking with my parents and the other adults, but also with us. I danced a bit with the PE NQT and as much as I could with my true love. I did my best to not make it obvious, but I made sure his hand brished my breasts at least once and hold my bottom quite a few times. During the slow dances I held him close, I was starting to feel 16.
Back at school, my emotions were getting too much. Sometimes it felt like I was playing baseball, sending my feelings out, getting no return. I needed tennis, love set and match. Most of Yr. 11, would have not said a thing if I had been overtly seeing that teacher. Most of the guys by now considered him a friend first, their teacher second. The girls all thought he was lovely. He was one of us. I did realise that maybe I should continue to be discreet with expressing my feelings publicly but somehow I needed to get the direct message to my science teacher, how exactly I felt about him. I spoke with my best girlfriend, who was in my tutor group but had a different, less awesome, science teacher. I got her to speak to him directly, act as the messenger. She did, but the result was not what I wanted to hear. The message I got back that he was flattered, but couldn't and didn't want to be with me. My world went black.
Maybe as revenge, maybe out of madness, the following week, the first time since I was in Yr. 9 I went on date with a boy. I went to town with a guy from college ( a year older than me) who had gone to the neighbouring school. He was a friend of a friends brother. I enjoyed the film, I enjoyed talking. We kissed, which initially was OK, but when his hands started to wander and he tried to place my hands where he wanted them, I jolted. This was certainly not where I wanted to be, I need to be honest with myself. Had my dreams of the past two years meant nothing? Hurting this guys feelings, maybe, I had to leave quickly and end that relationship before it had even started. I would try directness this time, with no messenger, I would say what needed to be said.
The following day was a Friday. Revisions session on Fridays, as could be expected were not well attended. I would be alone. As my true love marked books, I spoke with him. I told him about the previous night, what had happened - not expressing my feelings yet - I wanted to see his reaction. Nothing was said, but I could tell in his eyes, I am sure I could, of perhaps a pang of jealousy or was it that he just wanted to protect me? I asked him what did he feel. He didn't answer. He just explained that because he was a teacher, in a position of trust, even if I was 16 it was illegal with the threat of imprisonment, for him to have any type of non professional relationship with me. It would be borderline legal if he was at a different school, more acceptable if he wasn't a teacher at all. He didn't want to go to jail and he wanted to be around to see Yr. 11 get their GCSE's. He did agree that we needed to talk about this, but felt school wasn't the right place. He said I could join him hiking the following afternoon if I wanted. He gave me a time and a place to be, I promised I would be there.
When I got home, I spoke with my mother. She felt his words about the law and responsibility were correct. She felt he was a gentleman, very professional, she felt many weaker teachers, perhaps suggesting the NQT PE teacher that was at my party would probably not be so hesitant towards a direct invitation like I had been giving. She felt it was something I should be grateful for, that I should be prepared to wait. It would only be 6 months more before I had my GCSE results and was no longer his student. True as it maybe, I wanted him so badly, now. My mother gave her blessing to me meeting him on the hike, indeed, she would give me a lift there.
There is large oak tree on the village green in the neighbouring village, it was under here that I was to wait. I was dropped off a few minutes early, so from under that great tree I could watch my true love walk down across the neighbouring hill, towards the village and towards me. When he arrived I ran to him, put my arms around him and hugged him. We then walked westward towards the woodland on the next hill, saying little as we walked. After about an hours brisk walk we arrived at the footpath that leads along the river. Despite it being a saturday, on a clear day in mid February, there were few people about. The path led into some wooded land beside the river, a secluded spot, bound by nature and the serene stillness of that English chalk stream. It was here that we stopped on a park bench, set into the bank at the edge of the river. The seat was dedicated to an Arthur and Rose, who had passed away some thirty years before with their epitaph simply stating that time and tide await no one.
I told, my teacher, in my own words that since Yr. 9, the moment I saw him, all I could hold in my heart was him. I told him that I might be young, but at 16 I was sure this was what I felt and I was sure this was a feeling that time wouldn't change. He stated that when taking my Yr. 9 class he had picked me out as special, there being something connecting us, but had done nothing because he felt it was untimely to act. We held hands, with tears welling in my eyes due to emotion I hugged him. I told him I loved him and that I always would. We kissed. I have always regard this as my first proper kiss. It was intoxicating, every part of my nervous system tingled, my heart raced. It was perfect. I can still taste that moment now, his breath, his scent, the texture of his checks against mine. It must have been a good hour we spent, in the tranquility of that afternoon holding, caressing, kissing.
We walked on for another two hours, towards another rustic southern English village and into a back street lined with small Victorian terraced houses. This is where he lived, it was smaller and cosier than my parents house but inviting nonetheless. Inside his house, the lounge had all the toys of a single male: large TV, piles of DVD's, piles of books and magazines, radio controlled cars, game consoles. The dining room had piles of school science exercise books, including mine! The kitchen was simple, not messy, but I was already thinking how I would make it more homely.
I guess we both knew what we were doing was right, in the spiritual or human sense of the word. We embraced again, and lowered ourselves onto one of the large couches in the lounge. We kissed more insistently and unlike with my previous experiences it felt natural when my hands started to explore his body, and his began to explore mine. We undressed, slowly - I had no embarrassment, it felt totally natural. With his lips and fingers he bought me to orgasm, the biggest of my life, thus far - sensations I never knew were possible. I kissed him all over, he was, like me, totally naked, there was nowhere I didn't kiss and caress. This was very much a first time for me, but it was lead by passion. I took him into my mouth, and he climaxed there and I swallowed without a second thought. Having listened to some of the conversations of my friends in Yr. 11, I knew lots of things even if I hadn't tried them for myself. This wasn't a physical experience, however, it was more emotional, metaphysical. The collision of two souls.
As we relaxed in our mutual post orgasm repose, we talked. We discussed sex, I wanted to do it there and then, but he suggested we wait. I think he must have gathered, without me saying anything, that I was still technically a virgin. He felt it was something you only lost once and we had plenty of time and we should make it ultra special when it did happen. We also discussed how we should be. He told me, we mustn't get caught and it had to remain a secret for another 5 months. I swore not to tell anyone about this. Since I did appreciate the risks he was going to and that I had waiting all my early teens for this moment, to have it and hold it like this was, it felt romantic. We spoke about how at school he must still be the teacher, and we would have to find imaginary or secretive ways of expressing our love in public. For a moment, this covert love seemed a challenge, when compared to some of my class mates who spend every break time and some lesson time holding hands with their other half. Thinking about it there as I rested my head on his muscly chest, the furtive messages would actually be a lot of fun.
We took a shower together, and ate some food, then he drove me home. I invited him to speak with my parents, hesitant at first he relented. Over tea and cakes we talked about our walk and his collection of western DVD's (something he instantly had in common with my father) and school. Of course we didn't mention what we did on the couch, but we didn't need to; It was our moment in time. After my true love had left my mother and father both said what a lucky person I was. Later that evening my mother suggested she make an appointment for me to see the doctor, now that I was 16 and getting more independant I should be on the pill.
At school, with 3 months until the commencement of the GCSE's final exams all of Yr. 11 were working hard. On Friday and Saturdays I would often visit the one I loved. We would go hiking, then I would do my coursework for other subjects while he marked work or planned lessons. I even was taught how to mark exercise books. Not sure some of my friends would be pleased that I had first marked their work! We ate together, watch TV, played games, and got naked together. At school we found fun ways of letting each other know about our love. Sometimes we would have matching socks, or he would in my lesson use alternate colours of whiteboard pen for the letters in the lesson title, or try and mention the Great White Shark 13 times in a chemistry lesson. Only I knew why he was really doing this. I would often try and walk past his lab, even if it meant taking a detour when I went between lessons, we just found fun ways of secretly communicating what we felt. Probably more fun than being overt and letting everyone know.
During the Easter vacation, we had GCSE revision camp the first week - to which I went and so did he - more time together. In the second week, we went camping on the Isle of Wight for 4 days. Under the covers of a 3 season sleeping bag, in the mild dampness of early April, we made love for the first time. Waiting had been good, overlooking the beauty of Tennyson down, our bodies merged. For most of those four days we made love. The first time, was like I expected, somewhat painful, thereafter, when we were joined and he filled me with his warmth, I felt complete. I think with the magnetic attraction that was between us, my mother was wise to get me on the pill. Though honestly how I felt then, getting pregnant would not have bothered me. My man had a job, and income a house. I was infinitely better off that some of my girlfriends who had become pregnant by other Yr. 11's.
During the exam's in June, I slept at my lovers house the night before each exam. he would give me a lift into school, dropping me off in a side road so we didn't appear together. I was massaged and made love to the night before each paper. I was totally relaxed and prepared. The school prom was fun. We agreed it was the last big get together for all my friends and year group so I should have fun. My lover was also a very popular, teacher for all Yr. 11, it was also his chance to say goodbye to all. We danced and partied as a big group. Our love was still a big secret. By mid August when the exam results were out, we had two bits of good news: he had passed his NQT and I had got 10 A* and 2 B's at GCSE. This was far better than the school was expecting, but many in my lovers tutor group and science classes exceeded expectations. When pupils have the love, of the teacher, and there are many types of love and when the teacher has the love of the pupils great mountains can be moved. My man had inspired many to get C's in the their GCSE science or other subjects when they had been written off in years past. My parents were ecstatic, but had I not found this man in Yr. 9, what personally, would I have got; what would my outlook be?
In the September of that year I went to college, to study Biology, Chemistry, Physics and General Studies - with a little prompting from the one I love. He stayed at the school for one more term, so as to consolidate his teaching practise and teach without any helpful Year 11's around who can sort out unruly Yr. 8's. At Christmas he collected his Golden Hello (which paid for, among other things, our Christmas vacation to Paris and Rome) then rejoined the University so as to start a PhD in biological sciences. With a PhD student on hand, to help, my A Level's become good fun. I ended with two A's and two B's which were sufficient for me study medicine. That is where I am now, in the 3rd year of medical school, at one of the top UK universities, living with the man who I have loved since I was nearly 14, who has taught me as a Yr. 9, Yr.11, tutored me as an A Level student. Now I am a medical undergraduate he is even helping me in lab practicals for bioscience modules!
I am now 22, he is 29 and starting to lose his hair. I love him like no other. We plan to marry next year - I think some of the golden hello from his teaching even helped pay for the engagement ring! My parents adore him, his family love me. His PhD best buddy, has a girlfriend eighth years older than him. When we go out as a four, does age really matter in the grand scheme of things?
Had the letter of the law of the land, known and intervened, my man could be in prison, my world destroyed and I would most certainly not be where I am now, nor would many of my compatriots form school be achieving as they have been. I suspect the Principal of the school had suspicions, but said nothing because it was private and he was old-school. My parents were wise enough to see the virtue in this not the media induced fear. There are most certainly predatory males out there amongst teaching staff, but my man certainly wasn't one of them. I could not imagine life any other way, my story is probably unique but not unusual.
There is a folklore story from Japan, about life partners being connected by strands of red silk. Most people take a lot to unravel their destiny. How lucky am I, at aged 14 to find mine?
Trust you instincts, trust your heart and be single minded, there is love in the classroom.
(edited 13 years ago)
Wow - this thread brings back memories! My highschool was a bit too traditional to have teacher-student friendships. I remember one of the IT teachers buying my friend flowers and there were rumours going around about them, but it was the last year and none of us were entirely innocent by that point. I don't remember having any real crushes on teachers in highschool (I never got to know any of them well enough). I respected many of them or found them interesting and would have loved to hang out with a few as mates (I never really fit in with other teenagers and socialised with people in their 20s/30s mostly - I was more like a mother/aunt figure in school), but I doubt they would have considered it or viewed me as an equal. Teenagers seem quite young to me now and it's easy to forget how adult I was at that age. A few of the younger teachers were more friendly and would chat to the older students in the corridors outside of lessons, but unfortunately they didnt teach me so I rarely got to have a proper conversation with anyone. I'm sure with the amount of students they taught every day I was just another number!
The teachers in college were fortunately a bit more approachable (I took a gap year and started college at 17/18). Although I think by that point I was wary of getting too close due to the attitude I grew up with in highschool, so I wouldn't have thought to ask them to the pub or anything outside of college. It was awkward at times as I was on good terms with a few of them and didn't always know how far to take things (whether I could laugh and joke with them) and I worried about how they would take it (just being friendly rather than being nice to get higher marks). It was a weird situation and I sort of regret not keeping in touch with many of my teachers (both highschool and college) as they seemed like genuinely interesting people and I had far more in common with the adults than I did the other students.
I did however date one of my diving instructors when I was 19 (he was 28). It was completely consensual and although we live in different countries and he is now happily married, we occasionally email one another to catch up. In hindsight, the relationships/dates I have had with guys older than me have felt far more 'normal' than those with guys my age. I couldn't date students when I was in highschool (the closest I got was a university student, but even he seemed far too young for me). So my options were either a) pretend to be attracted to someone (I had several one night stands with this in mind), b) secretly date older guys that I had things in common with or c) live like a nun until I hit my late 20s/30s and could date guys my own age.
I chose b) and my parents still have no idea what I got up to back then. I think option c) would have been far more damaging in the long run and I don't regret or feel guilty about my decision at all. I was never forced to do anything against my will and a lot of the guys had no idea I was under-age as I didn't want to put them at risk or make them feel guilty.
My current partner is 9 years older and I still play the 'sensible/mature' role in the relationship (most of the time anyway).
Going back to the teacher question... I don't think many of my ex-highschool/college teachers are at the school now, so I wouldn't even know how to get in touch. I doubt they even remember me (20-odd students per class x several years is a lot of names), let alone wanting to 'hang out'. I would definitely stop and chat if I bumped into any of them now, but the odds of that happening are pretty small as I don't live that close.
When people complain about a teacher having a relationship with a student I don't jump to conclusions. Especially not if the student is a girl. I think I would have found highschool/college a very isolating time if I hadn't had anyone on my wavelength to talk to. If they get on as friends and have things in common then fine. If they end up dating later on then that's fine too. I haven't changed all that much since I hit 13 (aside from the extra frown lines and better skin) and knew exactly what I was doing back then. So good for you Lucy - I wish you both well!
The teachers in college were fortunately a bit more approachable (I took a gap year and started college at 17/18). Although I think by that point I was wary of getting too close due to the attitude I grew up with in highschool, so I wouldn't have thought to ask them to the pub or anything outside of college. It was awkward at times as I was on good terms with a few of them and didn't always know how far to take things (whether I could laugh and joke with them) and I worried about how they would take it (just being friendly rather than being nice to get higher marks). It was a weird situation and I sort of regret not keeping in touch with many of my teachers (both highschool and college) as they seemed like genuinely interesting people and I had far more in common with the adults than I did the other students.
I did however date one of my diving instructors when I was 19 (he was 28). It was completely consensual and although we live in different countries and he is now happily married, we occasionally email one another to catch up. In hindsight, the relationships/dates I have had with guys older than me have felt far more 'normal' than those with guys my age. I couldn't date students when I was in highschool (the closest I got was a university student, but even he seemed far too young for me). So my options were either a) pretend to be attracted to someone (I had several one night stands with this in mind), b) secretly date older guys that I had things in common with or c) live like a nun until I hit my late 20s/30s and could date guys my own age.
I chose b) and my parents still have no idea what I got up to back then. I think option c) would have been far more damaging in the long run and I don't regret or feel guilty about my decision at all. I was never forced to do anything against my will and a lot of the guys had no idea I was under-age as I didn't want to put them at risk or make them feel guilty.
My current partner is 9 years older and I still play the 'sensible/mature' role in the relationship (most of the time anyway).
Going back to the teacher question... I don't think many of my ex-highschool/college teachers are at the school now, so I wouldn't even know how to get in touch. I doubt they even remember me (20-odd students per class x several years is a lot of names), let alone wanting to 'hang out'. I would definitely stop and chat if I bumped into any of them now, but the odds of that happening are pretty small as I don't live that close.
When people complain about a teacher having a relationship with a student I don't jump to conclusions. Especially not if the student is a girl. I think I would have found highschool/college a very isolating time if I hadn't had anyone on my wavelength to talk to. If they get on as friends and have things in common then fine. If they end up dating later on then that's fine too. I haven't changed all that much since I hit 13 (aside from the extra frown lines and better skin) and knew exactly what I was doing back then. So good for you Lucy - I wish you both well!
(edited 13 years ago)
I'm wondering if anyone can give me some friendly advice..please be gentle.
I've had a crush on my media tutor for 3 years, he's about 26 years older than me, which sounds really bad! I never intended to become so obsessed with him, but I think of him all the time and look for any excuse to talk with him/text/email/be near him. He gives me a lot of attention in and out of class, whenever he makes a joke or finds something funny, he looks at me straight away to see if I laugh. I have never met anyone with such a similar sense of humour to my own. He's constantly looking out for me and praises my work all the time. He went to my Birthday party in town and bought me a few drinks, when he was on the train home he texted me of his own accord with "Have a lovely night Birthday girl, be good." Before college ended for the summer, I texted him with "Have a good summer!" and he replied with "Thank you, you too treasured student. Be good." He's not always that good with his replies mind, a lot of the time he doesn't reply! But I put that down to his professionalism and lack of time.
Mostly we talk about college stuff, TV, films, family and he always teases me (so do some of my other tutors, in a friendly way)... He confides in me all the time and asks for my help a lot. I can't tell if I'm in love with him or if I love him as a fatherly figure (I don't really get on with my dad, so it would make sense for me to see him as a dad). I can't really define what kind of love it is, which sounds stupid to be honest. Haha.
I went on a college trip abroad with just him and another member of staff and it was fantastic! A lot of suggestive jokes were made and we drank quite a bit of alcohol, but I know they wouldn't act on any of it. The staff member took a lovely photo of us, he told us to "get cosy" and my tutor did just that by putting his arm around me and resting his head on mine. My mum says the photo looks like we're a couple. I haven't told her about my feelings, I haven't told anyone. Everyone knows I'm close to my tutors though.
I leave college soon and I can't bare the thought of leaving him...I'm going to try my best to keep in touch, but I'm worried he won't return it. I don't know the rules of student/teacher friendships or relationships, but I know it's not as strict as school. So, do I tell him how I feel and risk having my heart broken + losing him, or do I keep my feelings hidden and continue being great friends? He's also married with kids which makes it much worse, but I don't think I could have stopped these feelings developing. I wouldn't want to take it further because I know it's wrong, I just want to know if he feels the same...
I've had a crush on my media tutor for 3 years, he's about 26 years older than me, which sounds really bad! I never intended to become so obsessed with him, but I think of him all the time and look for any excuse to talk with him/text/email/be near him. He gives me a lot of attention in and out of class, whenever he makes a joke or finds something funny, he looks at me straight away to see if I laugh. I have never met anyone with such a similar sense of humour to my own. He's constantly looking out for me and praises my work all the time. He went to my Birthday party in town and bought me a few drinks, when he was on the train home he texted me of his own accord with "Have a lovely night Birthday girl, be good." Before college ended for the summer, I texted him with "Have a good summer!" and he replied with "Thank you, you too treasured student. Be good." He's not always that good with his replies mind, a lot of the time he doesn't reply! But I put that down to his professionalism and lack of time.
Mostly we talk about college stuff, TV, films, family and he always teases me (so do some of my other tutors, in a friendly way)... He confides in me all the time and asks for my help a lot. I can't tell if I'm in love with him or if I love him as a fatherly figure (I don't really get on with my dad, so it would make sense for me to see him as a dad). I can't really define what kind of love it is, which sounds stupid to be honest. Haha.
I went on a college trip abroad with just him and another member of staff and it was fantastic! A lot of suggestive jokes were made and we drank quite a bit of alcohol, but I know they wouldn't act on any of it. The staff member took a lovely photo of us, he told us to "get cosy" and my tutor did just that by putting his arm around me and resting his head on mine. My mum says the photo looks like we're a couple. I haven't told her about my feelings, I haven't told anyone. Everyone knows I'm close to my tutors though.
I leave college soon and I can't bare the thought of leaving him...I'm going to try my best to keep in touch, but I'm worried he won't return it. I don't know the rules of student/teacher friendships or relationships, but I know it's not as strict as school. So, do I tell him how I feel and risk having my heart broken + losing him, or do I keep my feelings hidden and continue being great friends? He's also married with kids which makes it much worse, but I don't think I could have stopped these feelings developing. I wouldn't want to take it further because I know it's wrong, I just want to know if he feels the same...
Personally I dont see anything wrong with student/teacher relationships, if they're both consenting adults why should the rules and other poeples opinions get in the way. There are many teachers at my school that I see as friends before teachers that i'll stay in contact with after I leave. And yes, I am in a relationship with one of them, theres hardly even an age gap though because he's an NQT and recently turned 23 and i'm 18 soon so if he werent a teacher there wouldnt even be an issue, but since he is we have to keep the knowledge of our relationship to a select few :/ Although quite honestly how others havent noticed it is beyond me, I go and watch him play rugby every home game and we have lunch together every monday because I have his class before lunch then I help in his S1 class after lunch then he teaches our class again for the last period so it seems pointless me leaving just to come back again? But most blatently obvious of all, he said in his speech infront of the entire year group and most of the school staff that the school has made him feel very welcome and then he started saying things that he liked about the place, and he said that his class would be nothing without me! Admittedly there are only 5 people in the class, but no one seemed to bat an eyelid at what he was saying :L At the risk of sounding pathetic and cheesy, I know that I wouldnt be able to reach my full potential without him, he helps me with my coursework not just for his class but for others, and he helped me a great deal with applying to Uni and even went to an open day with me and he always tells me to believe in myself and cheers me up when i'm down just in the way that any other boyfriend would do, only difference is he's still my teacher so instead of walking around in public holding hands, i can count on my hands the number of people that know about us, actually no thats a lie 13 people know and i'm not a mutant :P
One of my mates got with his teacher on a night out, pretty heroic everyone treated him like a God for a while. It was like something out of American Pie haha.
Original post by Anonymous
I actually like my teacher at the particular moment, he's 24 and i'm 16. It is questionable whether he likes me back but would it be so wrong to get in touch with him when i leave, and perhaps eventually go out with him?
I've met my teachers who teach me still at pubs, had a few drinks with them, gone to poetry nights with them etc. It's not a big deal since I'm 18, I feel I can make a responsible choice about who I talk to. Teachers are human to and most at my school are usually around 23-29 so it's easy to relate I guess and just have a casual chat with.
Plus drunk teachers are amazingly fun <3
Plus drunk teachers are amazingly fun <3
I talk to my old History teacher on facebook.. but that's about it! She was a really good teacher and it's nice to let her know how I'm doing cause I do History at uni
Hi Lucy,
I'm not sure how often you use this forum, but I hope you get this message! I am working on a documentary for Radio 4 about relationships between pupils and teachers, and we are looking for examples of 'successful' relationships, which yours certainly seems to be! I wonder if you would mind getting in touch? It wouldn't commit you to taking part in the programme, and we can talk to you anonymously.
I hope to hear from you!
Best wishes
Sally
sally.heaven.01(at)bbc.co.uk
I'm not sure how often you use this forum, but I hope you get this message! I am working on a documentary for Radio 4 about relationships between pupils and teachers, and we are looking for examples of 'successful' relationships, which yours certainly seems to be! I wonder if you would mind getting in touch? It wouldn't commit you to taking part in the programme, and we can talk to you anonymously.
I hope to hear from you!
Best wishes
Sally
sally.heaven.01(at)bbc.co.uk
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