[manc]

Here is a list of genuine quotes from letters to the DHSS in Manchester. No real point to this, but personally I think that if you'd written this then you shouldn't reproduce, let alone get benefits.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.

I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.

The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared. The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path as my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp and we have two children and we would like a third so will you please send somebody round to do something about it.

Would you please repair our toilet. My son pulled the chain and the box fell on his head.

Mrs. Smith has no clothes and has had none for over a year. The clergy have been visiting her.

I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to masturbate his food.

In reply to your letter, I have cohabited with your officer with no results so far.

I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is dead.

Mrs. Adams has asked me to collect her money as she is going into hospital to have her overtures out.

Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children - one of which is a mistake as you will see.

My husband is diabetic and has to take insolence regular but he finds he is lethargic to it.

Unless I get my husband's maintenance money soon I shall be obliged to live an immortal life.

The children have been off school because there is a lot of measles about and I had them humanised.

Please forward my money at once as I have fallen into errors with my landlord and milkman.

You have changed my little boy into a little girl. Will this matter?

Mrs. Brown only THINKS she's ill, but believe me she is nothing but a hypodermic.

In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

I want my sick pay quick. I have been in bed under the doctor for a week and he is doing me no good. If things don't improve I shall get another doctor.

I do not get any money from my son. He is in the army and his regiment is at present manuring on Salisbury plain.

Milk is wanted for my baby and the father is unable to supply it.

Re your dental enquiry. The teeth on top are alright but those on my bottom are hurting dreadfully.

I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born.

I am sorry I omitted to put down all my children's names. This was due to contraceptional circumstances.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

The lavatory is blocked. This is caused by the boys next door throwing balls on the roof.

This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand?

[harr]

How are morons meant to survive if they don't get benefits?

[manc]

'Unless I get my husband's maintenance money soon I shall be obliged to live an immortal life.'

She's not worried

[harr]

But we don't really want immortal morons.

[SpiritedAway]

thanks for the laugh.

[rnd]

Originally Posted by manc

I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is dead.

This one seems quite intelligent to me.

[SpiritedAway]

i don't get why this one is stupid though :P

Re your dental enquiry. The teeth on top are alright but those on my bottom are hurting dreadfully.

[Magnum Opus]

Originally Posted by rnd

This one seems quite intelligent to me.

indeed, i thought it funny but true

[Nath_england]

I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.

The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared. The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.

This has made my day

[Magnum Opus]

Originally Posted by SpiritedAway

i don't get why this one is stupid though :P

do you have teeth on your bottom then?

[Ché Cubano]

LOOOL this really is funny - In reply to your letter, I have cohabited with your officer with no results so far.

stoopid.

[kiki28]

this has made me laugh alot . . . especially

'I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born.'

[Oswy]

Genuine? Or just made up so that the (partially) educated can look down their noses at their social inferiors? What is the OP suggesting anyway - that access to medical care should be based on formal grammar skills or coherent conceptualisation? Being poor often also means being poorly educated, so what do you expect?

[manc]

Genuine I'm afraid

And they're not inferior to me - they're just dumber

How about next time I find a list of stupid things that rich people have sent to their country clubs so no-one needs feel bad about this

[Oswy]

Originally Posted by manc

Genuine I'm afraid

And they're not inferior to me - they're just dumber

How about next time I find a list of stupid things that rich people have sent to their country clubs so no-one needs feel bad about this

Genuine because you say so? This is the internet, you can claim whatever you like.

'dumber'? Nah, you're just looking down on people and having a cheap laugh on the basis that some haven't acquired the same level of formal education you have.

How about next time you don't offer up such an immature post?

[harr]

I'd be inclined to say that they aren't genuine as well. It's not that I don't believe that people would say that sort of thing, but that I've seen the same list attributed to several different places and that it's just as easy to make this sort of stuff up as to collect it all together.

Oswy's jump from the original post to the suggestion that the author believes uneducated people shouldn't get medical care seems a bit of a slippery slope to me. I read the post as more light-hearted than immature. This is not really much different from the character Baldrick in Blackadder; something I've never heard anyone object to.

Edit: Now that there's a poll, I'd like to select both options. IMO it is typical-looking-down-nose behaviour at the same time as being harmless fun. I went for "harmless fun" in the end.

[tommm]

I lolled.

[Tinkerbee]

Originally Posted by harr

How are morons meant to survive if they don't get benefits?

They don't.

Natural selection.

Bring back the workhouse I say

[inksplodge]

Aww Poor people. Bet the people reading them had a right laugh.

[Wangers]

Originally Posted by Oswy

Genuine? Or just made up so that the (partially) educated can look down their noses at their social inferiors? What is the OP suggesting anyway - that access to medical care should be based on formal grammar skills or coherent conceptualisation? Being poor often also means being poorly educated, so what do you expect?

Poor? Not really, most students might be 'poor' but they're not poorly educated. Indeed, however much we moan, we have the best free education and healthcare systems in the world. Hardly anything to look down on really.