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Original post by Jellybean91
Exams is such a hard time :sad: :hugs: I know you want to take the high road but its a million times better you sit and talk to him about it calmly for half an hour than him saying something and you hitting the roof and spending hours sorting it out! Its your call, and obviously only bring up serious stuff like this close to exams if it just can't wait, but this sounds like it can't (make it clear to him that if it wasn't seriously important to you, you wouldn't be bringing it up, if you do decide to!) so whatever you decide to do :hugs:


Thanks for your advice Jellybean. It just helps me to have tsr :hugs:
Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus
Thanks for your advice Jellybean. It just helps me to have tsr :hugs:


Yeh don't worry, TSR has helped me on soooo many occasions!! Its great to have people around who understand what I'm going through in a way that my friends can't! I hope it all works out for you :hugs:
Original post by Jellybean91
:hugs: when do you find out when he goes? My fingers are crossed for you :smile:


We don't know :frown: grimmm.
Original post by rainbow drops
We don't know :frown: grimmm.


:hugs: how horrible for you both :sad:
Sooo advice. My gf is going away for a month or so. We aren't going to see each other at all in that time and the only way we can contact each other is facebook email ect. Im really worried that we are just going to drift apart. Some advice would be nice
Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus
Uhmmm, he's being difficult today :s-smilie:

He woke up and already I could tell from his email that he woke up irritated - has a major exam in three days. I went along with it and acted cool.
Earlier this evening he brought up two things that are really annoying for me, and I tried to keep my cool, and now something else..something in the way he speaks, or better yet some words he's using more and more often, that gives me worry that he might have met some girl he might like... paranoia -.-'
I want to be good today, I want to take the high road and just avoid conflict, but I feel like a time bomb...one more comment and I'll hit the roof!! :frown:


Hmmm it really does sound like hes trying to provoke a fight. More than likely so he has justification to take his stress out on someone. Give so much but only so much, your his partner not his verbal punchbag. Listen and be supportive but if you have tell him to stfu and cop himself. Theres supportive and then theres being used.

However i wouldnt take it to mean hes cheating on you. that could well be just your mind working overtime

Original post by Anonymous
Sooo advice. My gf is going away for a month or so. We aren't going to see each other at all in that time and the only way we can contact each other is facebook email ect. Im really worried that we are just going to drift apart. Some advice would be nice


A month? and your worried your going to drift apart? Is your relationship really new or stale or something? A month shouldnt make any difference to a strong couple.

However - your still going to be in touch even if it is only fb/email. Do you both have smartphones? Download something like skype or fring so you can chat - text without it costing the earth.
Original post by silverbolt
Hmmm it really does sound like hes trying to provoke a fight. More than likely so he has justification to take his stress out on someone. Give so much but only so much, your his partner not his verbal punchbag. Listen and be supportive but if you have tell him to stfu and cop himself. Theres supportive and then theres being used.

However i wouldnt take it to mean hes cheating on you. that could well be just your mind working overtime



A month? and your worried your going to drift apart? Is your relationship really new or stale or something? A month shouldnt make any difference to a strong couple.

However - your still going to be in touch even if it is only fb/email. Do you both have smartphones? Download something like skype or fring so you can chat - text without it costing the earth.


Been together 6 months. We are really close but she was really worried we would drift apart because it happened to her in a previous relationship so it sort of started to worry me as well. I guess your right it does seem sort of silly to worry that much about it.
ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

women i cant fathom you

So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here
Original post by silverbolt
ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

women i cant fathom you

So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here


I'm just as confused as you tbh :lolwut:
Original post by silverbolt
Hmmm it really does sound like hes trying to provoke a fight. More than likely so he has justification to take his stress out on someone. Give so much but only so much, your his partner not his verbal punchbag. Listen and be supportive but if you have tell him to stfu and cop himself. Theres supportive and then theres being used.

However i wouldnt take it to mean hes cheating on you. that could well be just your mind working overtime


Thank you, Silverbolt :smile:
It was OK in the end. I don't think he wanted to provoke a fight. I am very sensitive about that topic, it reminds me of a rather sad part of my life. I've never talked about it with him, and I really doubt his ability to "read betweed the lines" T__T

I know, I genuinely don't have no reason to think he'd be cheating on me…even though he's been cramming for exams, he talks to me everyday and acts normal…but i struggle a lot with my mind's tendency to work overtime, and i feel that i have to learn to control it, or i could ruin good relationship with a guy who loves me. it's just so so hard T__T
Original post by silverbolt
ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

women i cant fathom you

So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here


Maybe she wanted you to buy it for her but didn't want to ask you outright because of how she might come across :smile:
What's important is that she was happy with what you did :tongue: and now you have a nice moment with her to look forward to :tongue:
Original post by Jellybean91
I'm just as confused as you tbh :lolwut:


oh good so its not just me. Im just lost.

Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus
Maybe she wanted you to buy it for her but didn't want to ask you outright because of how she might come across :smile:
What's important is that she was happy with what you did :tongue: and now you have a nice moment with her to look forward to :tongue:


assuming she actually does like the idea and i havent just wasted my money buying her something she likes the idea of fantasies but wont wear in real life. I really thought she'd like something like that no im really unsure.

I dont want her wearing it cos she feels she has to. I want her wearing because she wants to and like the idea of it.

i reitterate bloody women
oh dont mean the "bloody women" part that literally. Just rather confused (and bit hurt truth be told) as to what if where ive gone wrong and how by buying her something where she gave a pretty strong hint at
Original post by silverbolt
ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

women i cant fathom you

So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here


I don't think she meant anything bad by it. Sounds to me like she reacted a little jokingly/awkwardly because, as she said, she's not used to being bought sexy presents by guys. She called you the sweetest guy she's been with and said she's lucky to have you, so she's obviously grateful!

It sounds like you have a really nice new relationship, so try not to overthink things so much, seriously :tongue:
Original post by silverbolt

Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog


Really enjoyed this part :smile:

It sounds like she's just a bit nervous about enacting a fantasy, and it certainly could be a bit strange if it's the first time you two have done something like this. Just talk her through it and make sure she's relaxed etc etc

All the best!
Did any of you start off your relationships long distance from the very beginning? Ie, meeting online or some other means? How did you cope and make it work?

There's a guy I really like who I met online but it's hard of us to date and form as relationship because of the long distance. I feel very down about this and don't know what to do. We live about 3 hours train ride form each other, and train tickets would build up expensive over time. I've tried forgetting about him but nothing works :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
Did any of you start off your relationships long distance from the very beginning? Ie, meeting online or some other means? How did you cope and make it work?

There's a guy I really like who I met online but it's hard of us to date and form as relationship because of the long distance. I feel very down about this and don't know what to do. We live about 3 hours train ride form each other, and train tickets would build up expensive over time. I've tried forgetting about him but nothing works :frown:


I did. I met my boyfriend on here, and we met up at a uni open day, after having PMed constantly and then MSNed for hours at a time every single day. After a load of complications involving us getting together and then breaking up, we got back into contact (again MSNing for hours, Skyping) and got back together. Recklessly, even, as we had no idea when we would see each other. We just knew that we'd fallen in love and would be happiest together. There wasn't really another option tbh.

Did I mention he lives in Germany? Yeah. So it wasn't like we could say "Okay in two weeks' time, let's both hop on a train and meet up in London" or something; when we see each other we basically have to clear an entire week, sort out college/work months in advance, book flights, sort airport travel, book a hotel/check with the family, and it usually costs a good few hundred pounds. We see each other roughly every two months.

Yeah, it's weird when we think about it, that we've only ever been long-distance (in total, in seven months of a relationship, we've spent just under two weeks together in person). We email (i.e. text, just email is better for us because it's free and the equivalent of texting because we do it from our phones, and it's nicer because we email every hour/few hours and it's usually a longer message while texts can be a few words long) every single day without fail, we usually Skype twice a week for a couple of hours, and for me the relationship works beautifully. Don't get me wrong, we've had a LOT of teething problems especially in terms of working out time spent on/with each other and so on, lots of problems and arguments and tears, but overall the relationship works really well. It IS possible and you do build up that foundation just as well as if you were a street away; you just need to make sure you never run out of things to say to each other, because a large part of your relationship will just be talking. PM me if you need any more advice:smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Did any of you start off your relationships long distance from the very beginning? Ie, meeting online or some other means? How did you cope and make it work?

There's a guy I really like who I met online but it's hard of us to date and form as relationship because of the long distance. I feel very down about this and don't know what to do. We live about 3 hours train ride form each other, and train tickets would build up expensive over time. I've tried forgetting about him but nothing works :frown:


Like the post above, I met my OH on TSR as well, so we have always been at least 2 hours apart, and then, 2 months after meeting him, I had to disappear for a year abroad making our distance even further... I don't have a lot to add to her post, except it can most definitely work if you both want it to and are willing to put in the time and effort for each other :smile: Make sure you book trains in advance and maybe look into coaches too if you live in/near a city/big town because while they take a little longer, they cost a hell of a lot less!
Reply 7998
Original post by Anonymous
Did any of you start off your relationships long distance from the very beginning? Ie, meeting online or some other means? How did you cope and make it work?

There's a guy I really like who I met online but it's hard of us to date and form as relationship because of the long distance. I feel very down about this and don't know what to do. We live about 3 hours train ride form each other, and train tickets would build up expensive over time. I've tried forgetting about him but nothing works :frown:


I also started off living 2 hours away from my boyfriend (we also met online), but we have gone on to do international long distance, and now I am looking forward to being only 2 hours apart again in September!

Long distance isn't a reason not to get into a relationship, if both people want to, it can work. It does take time to find your feet regarding time, money and communication, but I think LDRs are the most rewarding kind of relationship because you really value every moment you spend together, and it's hard work, but if it's right it will be worth it.

such_a_lady and jellybean91 were already spot on, but that was my two pence anyway. All the best :smile: You've got nothing to lose by giving it a try!
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Did any of you start off your relationships long distance from the very beginning? Ie, meeting online or some other means? How did you cope and make it work?

There's a guy I really like who I met online but it's hard of us to date and form as relationship because of the long distance. I feel very down about this and don't know what to do. We live about 3 hours train ride form each other, and train tickets would build up expensive over time. I've tried forgetting about him but nothing works :frown:


i initially met my girlfriend on a night out with some old friends when i was home in Ireland we then met a couple of times more whilst i was over there. However that was it until for about two months until we got together in January.

You can do it. Hell if such_a_lady, kat jellybean (i think it is early and ive only had one coffee) and myself can do it when our other halves live in other countries - you can manage a few hours on a train. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

Its not easy but as was said it makes the time together so much sweeter. Just plan well ahead (may seem daunting now but give it time and it becomes second nature to book train tickets two months in advance) and it can be done. Trust me