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Missing boyfriend..

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    My boyfriend left yesterday to go away for a month to Africa where he's kinda without any communication device. We've always had a really intense relationship and spend nearly all our time with each other.. I don't think I've gone more than 2 days without seeing him since he went away for a fortnight in April. That was hard enough and we weren't half as dependent on each other as we are now. The past 2 weeks we've been trying to see each other as much as possible so we've basically lived at each others' houses. So now I've gone completely cold turkey. Can't even ring him to say hi. He'll probably have just arrived and will be settling in and won't have had time to sit and miss me. Meanwhile I'm stuck at home getting more and more miserable. I went out last night with some girlfriends which helped to keep my mind off it but I'm already starting to get upset. Everyone keeps telling me he'll be back before I know it and I know he will be.. I just feel so pathetic to be getting so upset when he's hardly away for very long. It's the fact I can't even talk to him which is getting to me the most. I'm dying to hear that he's okay and to tell him I love him and miss him. He said he's going to try really hard to find somewhere to get on facebook or to give me a ring but since he hasn't got his phone and he's in a really rural area I don't know when he'll get a chance. People keep telling me to keep busy which is all fine and well but it's the times when you're sitting alone watching a DVD or lying in bed when it really hits. Most of my friends are away at the moment as well so I feel pretty isolated. Blah.

    I know I'm definitely not the first person to feel like this and that a lot of people on here cope without seeing their boyfriend/girlfriend for a lot longer but I'd love a bit of reassurance that I can make it through. It'll probably do us both a world of good in the long run - I can focus on my work for a few weeks and he can learn a thing or two about responsibility (hehe), and hopefully it'll make us appreciate each other a bit more. Someone tell me it'll stop hurting so much soon? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Flummox)
    My boyfriend left yesterday to go away for a month to Africa where he's kinda without any communication device. We've always had a really intense relationship and spend nearly all our time with each other.. I don't think I've gone more than 2 days without seeing him since he went away for a fortnight in April. That was hard enough and we weren't half as dependent on each other as we are now. The past 2 weeks we've been trying to see each other as much as possible so we've basically lived at each others' houses. So now I've gone completely cold turkey. Can't even ring him to say hi. He'll probably have just arrived and will be settling in and won't have had time to sit and miss me. Meanwhile I'm stuck at home getting more and more miserable. I went out last night with some girlfriends which helped to keep my mind off it but I'm already starting to get upset. Everyone keeps telling me he'll be back before I know it and I know he will be.. I just feel so pathetic to be getting so upset when he's hardly away for very long. It's the fact I can't even talk to him which is getting to me the most. I'm dying to hear that he's okay and to tell him I love him and miss him. He said he's going to try really hard to find somewhere to get on facebook or to give me a ring but since he hasn't got his phone and he's in a really rural area I don't know when he'll get a chance. People keep telling me to keep busy which is all fine and well but it's the times when you're sitting alone watching a DVD or lying in bed when it really hits. Most of my friends are away at the moment as well so I feel pretty isolated. Blah.

    I know I'm definitely not the first person to feel like this and that a lot of people on here cope without seeing their boyfriend/girlfriend for a lot longer but I'd love a bit of reassurance that I can make it through. It'll probably do us both a world of good in the long run - I can focus on my work for a few weeks and he can learn a thing or two about responsibility (hehe), and hopefully it'll make us appreciate each other a bit more. Someone tell me it'll stop hurting so much soon? :rolleyes:
    It will lessen - but only if you find things that keep you busy and you make yourself keep positive! Just be thankful that he didn't dump you before he went (which is what my last gf did before she left the country).
    #1

    Sounds awful.

    This sounds bloody ridiculous but Ive been on some dates with a guy and I think theres definately potential there. He has gone on a 4 week trip to china, and I miss him loads too. And he's not even my boyfriend, what the hell is wrong with me FFS. lol...
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    It's awful. I went nearly two weeks with NO contact from my boyfriend and I was really upset all the time It will be okay. I am a firm believer than absence makes the heart grow fonder!
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    don't worry, it will definitely get better.

    Maybe you could find something to do during the days - a job if you're lucky or voluteering somewhere. There's usually lots of kids holiday clubs & things that might want extra people to help. or learn to knit, thats what i did when i was bored over christmas :p:
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    Just look forward to seeing him again, a month will go just like that. You won't even realise it
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    I believe you have just described my relationship.. my boyfriend went away a week ago to Ethiopia to save the world etc and there's absolutely no contact until he gets back in a month. We also had been living in each other's pockets before he went to maximise our time together, and we live about 2 mins away from each other so we see each other every day usually.

    I think my coping strategy really has been filling my time with things that STOP me thinking - so if you're finding that DVD watching is filling your head with thoughts of him, just try to concentrate on the film, or maybe don't watch them at all if it's making you miss him! I've also just been blocking him out of my mind - so you could try not looking at pictures/videos of him.

    What I've been doing is loads of exercise as focusing on the physical exertion really blocks everything else from your mind - usually I am the laziest thing ever so don't worry, it doesn't have to be loads! It makes you feel good about yourself as well. I have also been teaching myself a new instrument and I've got involved in an amdram musical production because I'm into the music/drama thing. I've been working a lot at my job as well which helps, and in between just using the time to really catch up with the people I've put on the back burner because I was trying to see so much of my bf. Something else I do to ease the 'no contact' thing is write a little journal entry to him every night, telling him what I've done - then it feels like I'm talking to him

    Think of this as an opportunity to be an individual again, meet your friends, make new ones, do things on the spur of the moment without having to worry about when your boyfriend is coming round! If you think of the time apart in a positive way, it will go so much faster purely because you will be enjoying every second. And that enjoyment doesn't mean you're not missing your boyfriend - in fact I'd bet it's what he wants you to do - he wouldn't want you to be miserable!

    Good luck, feel free to PM me about it so we can share tales - and you could maybe pop into the LDR soc where we all share our tales of separation from partners!

    Hope this helped

    EDIT: btw how long have you been with your bf?
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    I become really upset as well when my bf goes away. I suggest buying a good DVD boxset.
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    Thanks a lot everyone! It's so nice to be told you're not being an idiot instead of trying to convince yourself :P Definitely going to be renting a fair few DVDs and getting books from the library to keep me going!
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    You're welcome to join us in the ldr soc! We're always happy to listen to people moan and to provide comfort and hugs!
    :hugs:

    I really feel for you; my bloke is in America for 10 weeks but we still have contact..I've jsut been on holiday and thought I'd have no contact for a week and was stressing (but I got a phonecall, bless him so it didn't come to that in the end)

    I know it's hard to beleive at the start, but the time will pass quikcly. Dont feel guilty if you spend the first few days/more crying and moping; it's normal and shows you care! In some ways it might help that you're not in contact, because I've found that my moods vary completely on whether I've managed to speak to him that day, or I'll turn down doing things in the vague hope I might be online at the right time. Just think, you've gotta keep your days busy so as to have wonderful stories to tell him when he gets back!
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    My boys in america for another week and a half ... I think. Hes been away for nearly 2 months we've barely had any contact-well he hasn't contacted me back. I'd prefer it if he couldn't contact me at all but he could of easily so I'm fed up.
    Seriously though you'll be ok, expect the first couple of weeks to be slow but keep yourself busy. Read, watch films etc before you sleep, thats the time I always feel the saddest. You could always do something you really want, I started running to take my mind off things so got healthy at the same time.
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    (Original post by Flummox)
    My boyfriend left yesterday to go away for a month to Africa where he's kinda

    I know I'm definitely not the first person to feel like this and that a lot of people on here cope without seeing their boyfriend/girlfriend for a lot longer but I'd love a bit of reassurance that I can make it through. It'll probably do us both a world of good in the long run - I can focus on my work for a few weeks and he can learn a thing or two about responsibility (hehe), and hopefully it'll make us appreciate each other a bit more. Someone tell me it'll stop hurting so much soon? :rolleyes:
    It'll be fine.
    my boyfriend went to africa for FIVE WHOLE MONTHS. and yeah it was hard, but if you're as happy together as you say you are it's fine.
    a month is no time.i'm not trying to say you wont find it difficult or you are being pathetic, but seriouslyyy how fast does a week go. summer's almost over and it's barely began. time goes soooo fast.
    just use it as a time to catch up with friends and stuff.
    it really isn't a very long time. and you'd definitely have to worry about your r-ship if you couldnt make four tiny weeks apart!.
    just think of how good it will be when he gets back.
    a good idea is to plan something nice you can both look forward to when he does. like a gig or something.
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    Remember its a month thats only like 28 days or so. Its not that long. Definately organise things to look forward to each week and it will go like that *clicks fingers*
    Then near the time hes coming back, organise something for him to come back to...and remember he IS coming back!!
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    A month?? Seriously come on, my boyfriend is going abroad for 6 months living in a village in central america with no communication opportunities, after that is working in belgium and has no plans to even come back to the UK other than to visit me (first time will prob be in about a year)

    So quit whinging over a MONTH. sounds like you see each other too much already and have become too dependant for your age. My parents regularly go travelling/away from each other for more than a month and have no problems.
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    I can't begin to understand how you feel, no communication!? I can just about cope not seeing my boyfriend but i text him everyday and call him most while i'm away. Just try and keep busy, do things that won't make you think of him. Go out with your mates, have fun. If you are doing stuff, the time will go quicker and he'll be back before you know it.
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    It's awful, but I struggle going for a week without my boyfriend - and we talk every day. I can't really understand the pain of what you're going through, and I'm not going to pretend I can - but I will say what my friend, who isn't seeing her boyfriend for six weeks, said would help her most - keeping her busy, but not pretending that her boyfriend isn't there - you're going to miss him, so don't pretend you're not - just accept it. Do things, keep yourself busy, talk to your friends - even plan things out for when he comes back. But try to have fun, try to still enjoy it, even though he isn't there.
    xx
    #2

    I wish I could feel more like this... I haven't seen mine since I went home for summer for a month ago, and I'm not going to see him for another six weeks because we're both off travelling. We don't have the type of relationship where we're dependent on one another, but I think this time apart is maybe telling me there wasn't much relationship there in the first place.
    #3

    Which country in Africa? I hope not Morocco...the women in Morocco are apparently beautiful!
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    (Original post by JazzyJo)
    A month?? Seriously come on, my boyfriend is going abroad for 6 months living in a village in central america with no communication opportunities, after that is working in belgium and has no plans to even come back to the UK other than to visit me (first time will prob be in about a year)

    So quit whinging over a MONTH. sounds like you see each other too much already and have become too dependant for your age. My parents regularly go travelling/away from each other for more than a month and have no problems.
    That's you...

    You're applying your own relationship framework to someone else's relationship.
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    (Original post by LaurenFah)
    That's you...

    You're applying your own relationship framework to someone else's relationship.

    but come on, a MONTH. in the whole scheme of life, thats really nothing.

    its not healthy to be so attached

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Updated: August 2, 2008
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