[Anonymous]

(Anon because friends may use this and I don't want to expose the person in question).

Hi everyone,

I'm seeking advice about how to help someone suffering from severe depression. One of my closest friends has been extremely depressed recently (she's been on medication for mild depression previously but it's never been this serious before) and obviously I want to support her. However, having never suffered from depression myself I feel as though I can't fully understand her condition or the best way to help her. Unfortunately I live several hours away from her during uni holidays, and so cannot easily literally "be there for her". At the moment I'm just resorting to phoning and texting her frequently and listening to whatever she might need to talk about..but I fear my advice/responses are probably inadequate. I've made it clear that I'll visit her whenever she might want me to, but she's evidently exhausted at the moment and I don't want to be an imposition so am unsure what I can do beyond staying in touch...I'm trying very hard to help her by empathising as much as possible..too many of her friends (and boyfriend) seem to think that depression is something she should be able to snap out of or cure with frivolous materialism, and are even telling her she should stop taking medication. The main difficulty is that she's completely indifferent to her surroundings/relatives/friends and doesn't seem to be able to care about anything...how can anyone introduce any sense of significance into her life?(she's suicidal atm)

So...what else can I do? If you've ever been severely depressed or supported a friend with depression please give me some advice...what helped you/how did you help someone else? Any suggestions much appreciated.

[tami]

tell her to go to her GP. she might need to get the dose of her medication changed (or the medication itself changed depending on what the GP suggests). Clearly what she's taking at the moment isn't helping her enough. she should also ask her GP if she can see a psychologist/therapist. being suicidal should make her a higher priority for this.

if she's sucidal this a matter of some urgency. she should be very clear to her GP that she is suicidal so that the GP treats this with an appropriate level of seriousness.

It's a shame her other friends and boyfriend don't understand the way severe depression works. this isn't something she can snap out. she needs help. it's great that you're such a good friend to her. you are doing all the right things -- listening to her/empathising etc. keep it up. make sure she knows that she can always call you if things get really bad.

[Lithium]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

(Anon because friends may use this and I don't want to expose the person in question).

Hi everyone,

I'm seeking advice about how to help someone suffering from severe depression. One of my closest friends has been extremely depressed recently (she's been on medication for mild depression previously but it's never been this serious before) and obviously I want to support her. However, having never suffered from depression myself I feel as though I can't fully understand her condition or the best way to help her. Unfortunately I live several hours away from her during uni holidays, and so cannot easily literally "be there for her". At the moment I'm just resorting to phoning and texting her frequently and listening to whatever she might need to talk about..but I fear my advice/responses are probably inadequate. I've made it clear that I'll visit her whenever she might want me to, but she's evidently exhausted at the moment and I don't want to be an imposition so am unsure what I can do beyond staying in touch...I'm trying very hard to help her by empathising as much as possible..too many of her friends (and boyfriend) seem to think that depression is something she should be able to snap out of or cure with frivolous materialism, and are even telling her she should stop taking medication. The main difficulty is that she's completely indifferent to her surroundings/relatives/friends and doesn't seem to be able to care about anything...how can anyone introduce any sense of significance into her life?(she's suicidal atm)

So...what else can I do? If you've ever been severely depressed or supported a friend with depression please give me some advice...what helped you/how did you help someone else? Any suggestions much appreciated.

Hey, sorry to hear about your friend. You've done all you can do yourself per se, and coming to realize that there is nothing more you can do yourself is an important step in this relationship

The next thing for you to do is to get her (perhaps the word "get" is a bit authoritative here) some professional help. It's true that some depressive moods can be merely transient mood changes which can be dealt with by close friends etc...

But clinical depression is more serious. It needs the help of professionally trained people and perhaps a new treatment plan. So, IMO, the best you can do for her now is getting her some professional help (or getting her to get it) and being there for her the way you have been

Hope your friend gets to feeling well soon. And you might want to talk to her other close friends as to make them aware of what is REALLY going on.

[Easykill]

I completely agree with tami and lithium in that she needs more/different professional help.
Her friends need to understand that depression is a very serious illness of which she has no control.
It sounds as if you are doing everything you should be doing for her. I would only suggest that you talk to her friends and boyfriend about their attitudes with her. Phoning her regularly and letting her know she is cared about will help greatly, try boosting her self esteem by showing her how great she is.
I hope she gets better soon, and kudos on your loyalty