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Other girl trying to steal my boyfriend :(

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Post on TSR and win a prize! Find out more... 10-04-2014
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    I'm in a really difficult situation regarding my boyfriend and another girl.

    Ive been with my bf for about a year and a half. We got together in our first year of uni and things have been great ever since. Last year he joined an athletics group and got really into it. Although it meant seeing eachother less, I was ok with it and there were no problems.

    Recently though its been difficult. This year, he got promoted onto the athletics committee. Since then hes been literally obsessed with training all the time and going out on socials with the team (LOADS of girls). I wouldnt mind this but I'm a bit uncomfortable about how close the president of the society is getting to him.

    She was never a problem before but shes caused a few arguments between us lately. I first met her a few weeks ago. She came up to me in a club and said "I think your bf is really great, i like him A LOT. well done". I thought this was a bit weird for her to say, especially as she knows we're going out :confused:

    Then I was out with him and she text him saying "i just saw you and can see u now! xxxx" which I thought was a bit weird and stalkerish. The most worrying thing happened when he went clubbing on a social with them and pics appeared on facebook the next day with her literally all over him - her arm round him etc - they actually looked like a couple and it made me really upset.

    I've spoken to him about it and he says hes not interested in her and he loves me. The thing is, there's going to be an athletics competition soon which is being held in a town a few hours away. He'll be staying in a hotel overnight in between the competitions and going out clubbing with the team in the evenings. As shes president, she'll def be there and I'm really not happy about him going. I know its his life, but the thought of her staying overnight near him when I'm not there is making me feel sick.
    Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.

    I dont know what to do. This problem with her has suddenly popped up from nowhere and shes really getting on my nerves. I just want her to leave my boyfriend alone. Its making me so miserable I've spoken to him about it but he just keeps saying nothing is going to happen as he likes me - yet she wont back off. What shall i do?
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    Tell her to **** off and leave your bf alone next time you see her. You have to trust him though, hes said hes not interested in her and loves you soyou should be satisfied with that.I'd confrnt her though!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my bf for about a year and a half. We got together in our first year of uni and things have been great ever since. Last year he joined an athletics group and got really into it. Although it meant seeing eachother less, I was ok with it and there were no problems.
    people can do things away from thier partners

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recently though its been difficult. This year, he got promoted onto the athletics committee. Since then hes been literally obsessed with training all the time and going out on socials with the team (LOADS of girls). I wouldnt mind this but I'm a bit uncomfortable about how close the president of the society is getting to him.
    your insecure

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She was never a problem before but shes caused a few arguments between us lately. I first met her a few weeks ago. She came up to me in a club and said "I think your bf is really great, i like him A LOT. well done". I thought this was a bit weird for her to say, especially as she knows we're going out :confused:
    your insecure - she said your bf is great big bloody deal, i said my gfs mom was great didnt mean i was after her

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then I was out with him and she text him saying "i just saw you and can see u now! xxxx" which I thought was a bit weird and stalkerish.
    your insecure - thats a funny text FRIENDS would send each other its niether wierd nor stalkerish

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The most worrying thing happened when he went clubbing on a social with them and pics appeared on facebook the next day with her literally all over him - her arm round him etc - they actually looked like a couple and it made me really upset.
    your insecure - friends actually made bodily contact oh no we must inform the parish elders. Are they kissing or groping each others privates? No - didnt think so

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've spoken to him about it and he says hes not interested in her and he loves me.
    your insecure - try listening to him

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The thing is, there's going to be an athletics competition soon which is being held in a town a few hours away. He'll be staying in a hotel overnight in between the competitions and going out clubbing with the team in the evenings. As shes president, she'll def be there and I'm really not happy about him going. I know its his life, but the thought of her staying overnight near him when I'm not there is making me feel sick.
    Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.
    Your insecure - and you want him to give up his passion to play nursemaid to your wet blanket obsession delusions

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont know what to do. This problem with her has suddenly popped up from nowhere and shes really getting on my nerves. I just want her to leave my boyfriend alone. Its making me so miserable I've spoken to him about it but he just keeps saying nothing is going to happen as he likes me - yet she wont back off. What shall i do?
    how about you back off? Hes done nothing wrong and do you actually ahve any proof that shes after him or they are just as he claimed friends. Why dont you actually believe him before your paronia actually drives him to do the thing your most afaid of. Your determined to hate a girl who has nothing more than dare to be friends with your boyfriend

    you need to grow up a abit
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    people can do things away from thier partners



    your insecure



    your insecure - she said your bf is great big bloody deal, i said my gfs mom was great didnt mean i was after her



    your insecure - thats a funny text FRIENDS would send each other its niether wierd nor stalkerish



    your insecure - friends actually made bodily contact oh no we must inform the parish elders. Are they kissing or groping each others privates? No - didnt think so



    your insecure - try listening to him



    Your insecure - and you want him to give up his passion to play nursemaid to your wet blanket obsession delusions



    how about you back off? Hes done nothing wrong and do you actually ahve any proof that shes after him or they are just as he claimed friends. Why dont you actually believe him before your paronia actually drives him to do the thing your most afaid of. Your determined to hate a girl who has nothing more than dare to be friends with your boyfriend

    you need to grow up a abit
    Its not just my 'insecurity', my boyfriend has noticed it too and has even said so. Dont slag me off when you don't actually know me - I'm upset about a situation that is actually real and not just me being 'delusional'..
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    It sounds like nothing. I'm afraid I agree with silverwing. She says she likes your boyfriend - she's his friend. She texts him - she's his friend. She's got pictures of them hugging - she's his friend. Calm down. I know it's hard when your boyfriend spends a lot of time away from you, but you've nothing to fret about from what you've reported here. If you keep bugging your boyfriend about it he'll start getting annoyed with you. Seriously; he says nothing is going to happen even if she does like him (which from what you say sounds unlikely anyway) so unless you're insecure in your relationship you shouldn't be concerned in the slightest. I've had a girl chase my boyfriend before, very obviously and shamelessly, but it didn't bother me then because I know he loves me.

    In short; trust your boyfriend.
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    @ Anon 1: there's nth much u can do other than let him go, and trust him. If you want to confront her why not ask your bf to go along with you too. Just so that she knows your bf is at your side, and it'll not be as scary.
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    Trust him. He says he loves you, therefore he wouldn't let anything happen. If anything does happen, boot him.
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    He sounds like he is really enjoying his time at uni and doing well at his chosen sport. I can't beleive you don't want him to go to a competition he has probably been looking forward to for a while!

    Great, pat yourself on the back! Your boyfriend is desirable to other girls! I don't see a problem with the text as I would probably text my male friends the same thing and not even think anything of it.

    There is one part of the puzzle you are missing- Your boyfriend loves YOU! He doesn't want this other girl, but if you keep on at him about her you will just drive him straight into her arms.

    Enjoy your time together and don't fret about this girl, others will fancy your boyfriend, these things happen. It is just whether he will do something about it, and as he loves you he probably won't.

    Just for the record- I let my boyfriend take the girls team on a weekend sports team trip away and wasn't half as bothered as you are over this. If you trust someone then you trust them UNTIL they do something to warrant that trust being taken away.
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    Go straight up to her face, and say, whilst spitting all over her, "have you seen the film misery? well, touch my boyfriend and I will put a block of wood between your ankles and hammer them in, so you'll never walk again, you cheap, dirty little rat."

    Preferably do this whilst downing a pint of Stella. Burp.
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    I dont think you should tell the girl to back off because she will feel sort of insulted and will most likely end up hating you, which might end up making things ten times worse.(she might even start to get close to your bf just to piss you off)

    I guess what you can do is tell your boyfriend that you dont like it when he gets too close to her and that he wouldn't like it if you allowed guys to get too close to you. But you have to say this without sounding insecure and controlling.

    As hard as it might be just try to not let it bother you and have a bit more trust in your bf.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive told him my concerns but he says he wants to take part. Part of me is upset because if the situation was reversed, I'd put his feelings over some stupid competition.
    if you was my gf, and you started going on about "it's only a stupid competition". I would probably break up with you then get with the president chick.

    So don't say that.
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    (Original post by Metropolis)
    if you was my gf, and you started going on about "it's only a stupid competition". I would probably break up with you then get with the president chick.

    So don't say that.
    Damn right. He's probably been training for months. Have some sensitivity and support your boyfriend's interests, for goodness' sake.
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    the only part i didnt like was you saying in role reversal youd choose your bf over a stupid competition, to your bf it very likely isnt stupid and will mean alot. so he should go.
    hes made it clear he loves you, so you will have to learn to deal if she makes a move, kick her ass =p but really you just have to bare with it, and trust him
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its not just my 'insecurity', my boyfriend has noticed it too and has even said so. Dont slag me off when you don't actually know me - I'm upset about a situation that is actually real and not just me being 'delusional'..
    i said you were insecure - hardly a slagging off i could have said far worse. And of course i dont know you i have only that which you have written wich is insecure childish (stupid competition) drivel. This situation as you have described is not realy its your head blowing it all out of proportion. THis girl has done nothing wrong it is you thats making an issue of it including causing arguements with your bf and simply becasue he has explained to you that hes not interested and you wont believe him. and dont even try to say you do cos if you did then you wouldnt even be posting here about it

    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    It sounds like nothing. I'm afraid I agree with silverwing.
    i think you meant silverbolt

    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    In short; trust your boyfriend.
    good advice
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    (Original post by silverbolt)

    i think you meant silverbolt


    good advice
    Apologies and thank you, my dear :top2:
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    He says he loves YOU - he's still with you for a reason, and not with her. Don't worry about the competition (invite girls round and drink lots of wine while he's gone) and have a lovely time imagining her looking all kinds of stupid if she tries it on. Because he loves YOU. If she tries anything (which tbh she's had plenty of opportunity to by now and hasn't, so probably won't) then he's going to turn her down.

    Don't stop him going, and don't tell her to back off. If you stop him going he'll seeth about it forever, and telling her to back off will only make her dislike you.
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    Im sorry ur being insecure. HE LOVES YOU! He calls you his girlfriend. Not her! He kisses you not her! Im sorry but get over it. Get some activies of your own to do and fill your time up with somehing else rather then worrying about IF you bf is gonna chaet when he has showed no signs of it!
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    Just be careful! Jealousy is an ugly emotion and can actually encourage the very thing you've been dreading to happen (speaking from personal experience here)
    You just have to trust him and try not to let her get to you. Just carry on with your relationship as normal.
    Why don't you go with him to the out-of-town thing and be waiting in his hotel room in sexy underwear when he gets back from the night out?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its not just my 'insecurity', my boyfriend has noticed it too and has even said so. Dont slag me off when you don't actually know me - I'm upset about a situation that is actually real and not just me being 'delusional'..
    Well that just goes to show then, that your boyfriend is fully aware of the other girls behaviour and chooses not to 'distance' himself from her or politely let her know that they are strictly friends.

    Again we have another thread where the girlfriend blames the 'other woman' instead of looking at her boyfriend instead.
    Your actually saying that he has noticed it too, AND he knows how much it is upsetting you, and yet he chooses to let 'it' (whatever it, i.e this situation is), go on, hmmmmmm...
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    Just need to point something out - I'm friends with a lot of guys and a lot of things you've mentioned in your post apply to me, I always text people when I can see them and stuff - yet I'd never actually be interested in any of them. So er...chill out. Nobody's trying to steal your boyfriend.

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