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Guys.. do you find other girls attractive apart from your girlfriend??

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    Ok i know the answer to this is probably yes... i just got very upset for a few days after i found a conversation between my boyfriend and his friend saying how fit and pretty a couple of girls at his work are. i've just about gotten over it now but it did hurt that he thinks that =( when i confronted he just said it's what guys do to show off to their mates about girls who fancy them :confused: he said he DEFINITELY doesnt find them fit at all but i've seen them and they are pretty so i dont know =( i know this is completely stupid!
    i also found a message on his phone (i know im nosy but i wouldnt know these things otherwise!! ) ...saying he missed one of them, and asking what she's up to etc.. he said it was because she hadnt worked in a while but i just want him to miss me!! =( i dont think he's ever had a social txt conversation that hasnt been about work etc..
    am i being too demanding? we've been together 2 years and i know he loves me and would never cheat, but i'm his first proper girlfriend, and vice versa. i just dont like the fact he finds other girls 'fit' when iii'm his girl i live at uni and i'm so good, he lives at home and hates it when i go so much as near a guy there! we both get jealous but i think i have a slight reason to be after that!
    Thanks
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    Doesn't sound too good, and I mean the relationship.
    There are some trust issues there that you both need to work on.
    And does he tell you he misses you? Or do you just want to feel missed?
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    he tells me all the time i know he really does miss me. he said the txt was perfectly innocent and i read the 'worst' one. nothing like this has ever happened before i just want to be enough for him.
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    i kind of want to hear that it's 'normal' for guys to find other girls 'fit' but have no feelings there at all. i just know he would flip if he found out i thought people at work were good looking and fit
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    I agree with the post above.

    Even though a guy may be in a great relationship, it's his instinct to think that other people are 'fit' but have no physical or sexual attraction to them.

    I get really annoyed when im in a relationship and I say that another person is 'fit' and that person may be a celebrity off the television or somebody in a film - im not exactly going to go off with them am I?
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    It is normal.
    Do you find any guys fit?
    And he misses you! You should know him inside out and if he says that the text was perfectly innocent and you trust him, don't worry about it.
    I know it's hard not to worry about something like this, but just think about how much you love him and miss him and vice versa.
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    er, yes its completely normal, do you want us to turn gay with you being the exception? you can't choose who you find attractive, its all about what you do with that feeling, which when you are in a relationship is nothing other than the thought, "oh, shes quite fit. nice rack" or whatever. is he allowed to find celebrities attractive?

    him flipping out if he finds out you find people attractive at work isn't justifiable either. wheres the trust girl... you both need to chill out.
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    thanks i know i know!i feel much better about it. i wouldnt mind so much if it was a model or celebrity he found attractive. i just feel a bit uncomfortable as i'm not there at his work with all those girls (he's practically the only guy lol) so i dont exactly feel threatened.. but almost! i know it's far too demanding to think i'm the only 'fit' one but it would be nice hehe
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    I know what you mean, however I think it's normal for a guy to find another girl attractive whilst in a relationship (unless he doesn't stop going on about it to her or his friends..then become slightly worried) but whether or not they act on that judgement is another issue. I know my boyfriend probably finds other women attractive, for all I know it could be girls on his course (only guy in the whole course) or his housemates etc but I don't see him as they kind of guy to cheat (well I hope not!) because he says that he loves me, and I would recommend not mentioning it unless you know his behaviour about these girls continue, got into an arguement with mine about a similar thing..not pretty, so I've just gotta take his 'behaviour with/opinions of' his house mates with a pinch of salt and just believe that he loves me. I don't think him finding other women 'fit' is too much of a worry
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    you can pass judgement over whether or not a girl is good looking or not - its if he takes it further than that you should be worrying.
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    you did said that you trust him right? so no worries right?
    I mean if he does loves you that much, he wont cheat over you.
    If this does not work, try to think about other possibilities, like, the girl was actually his friend, besides, he did not say anything beside he missed her or what she is up to right? So you're still his number one
    As long as his act doesn't change from 2 years ago, do not worry.
    Try to trust some more, but then again it's your choice, if you are still bothered by it, you could do some talking, since he doesn't like you being around guys so much and vice versa, yes?

    But then again the choice is in your hands, I'm only telling my opinion.
    Cyaz.
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    Yes it is completely normal, if any guy tells you or anyone else otherwise that is a lie. Monogamy is a social phenomenon, not a biological one.
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    He probably does find loads of girls attractive and is probably very flirty with them. It's not because he wants to shag or get with them, it's just nice to feel attractive and wanted.

    I really doubt he'd ever actually cheat, but you have to decide if you can put up with what he does now.
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    (Original post by KwungSun)
    Yes it is completely normal, if any guy tells you or anyone else otherwise that is a lie. Monogamy is a social phenomenon, not a biological one.
    I know I'm not attracted even a tiny bit to anyone other than my boyfriend. The thought of me getting off with anyone else really upsets me and seems gross.
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    yeah i agree, guys can't really help who they find attractive, and it may be that they find some girls more physically attractive than their gf - but as long as the relationship seems strong it shouldnt be a problem and they will know themselves if their interest for other girls has crossed a line... i know my girl's attractive but that doesnt stop my mind wandering sometimes even if I don't want to think like that!

    this seems to be different for girls, who seem to be able to cut off or at least reduce their attraction to other guys once they have a bf...
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    My boyfriend tells me that he finds nobody else but me attractive, and that he doesn't even like to look at other girls :yep:











    My boyfriend lies :indiff:
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    (Original post by Last Burns BEAST)
    yeah i agree, guys can't really help who they find attractive, and it may be that they find some girls more physically attractive than their gf - but as long as the relationship seems strong it shouldnt be a problem and they will know themselves if their interest for other girls has crossed a line...

    this seems to be different for girls, who seem to be able to cut off or at least reduce their attraction to other guys once they have a bf...
    I don't find any other guys attractive, being with my boyfriend has really reduced me looking at other guys, even if it's just for fun or giving a general opinion.

    But you are right, as long as the relationship is strong there shouldn't be an issue whether or not your boyfriend find other girls around him 'fit'
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    (Original post by katyscarlett)
    My boyfriend lies :indiff:
    hah, clearly

    I don't see why attachment would change anything. That's not to say they'd, say, want to go and have sex with that person, but I've never met a guy who only finds one person attractive.
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    thanks everyone it's helped a lot! i completely trust him just wasn't nice reading it! our relationship will be fine i know what you mean tho, it is nice to feel wanted and people interested in you, but im not really interested in even looking at other guys since i've got mine!
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    (Original post by OiaB)
    you can pass judgement over whether or not a girl is good looking or not - its if he takes it further than that you should be worrying.
    I agree with that. Anyway just because you say someone is 'fit' it doesn't necessarily mean you are particularly attracted to them. I don't know if anyone else thinks this way, but I can tell pretty easily if a girl is good looking/sexy/fit/whatever else you want to call it. But just because I recognise that they are attractive, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm personally that attracted to them. Just because I can tell someone is fit it doesn't mean I have any particular urges to think of them in a sexual way.

    It's like my brain has two rating systems. There's one fairly logical, predictable one that can just asses the way a girl looks and give a no nonsense answer of how attractive she is. Then there's the other one which seems random and unpredictable and is only very loosely correlated with the first and takes into account everything about that person, not just looks.

    So if I assume I'm not some amazing unique person in the way I think, a lot of other people must think this way.

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Updated: October 7, 2008
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