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My boyfriend hates it when I cry

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    I don't know why but ever since I met my boyfriend I have become really emotionally reliant on him. Like, for example,the night before an exam I'll panic to the point I just want to crawl into his bed and cry. Or for example if I have something on like a presentation rather than prepare it and get confident I'll block it out and spend time with my boyfriend. Then I'm a wreck the night before and just end up crying.

    I never used to be like this before but since I've met him I can't seem to get a grip. I get depressed when he turns off his phone at night cause it means I can't contact him if I start panicking. I text him all the time because I feel lonely. I know he feels suffocated and fed up but overall we have such a special time together so he is happy.

    I think what hurts the most is every time I cry he thinks I'm being pathetic and weak. I swear his reaction is making me cry even more. When I am on my period he thinks my mood swings are psychologoical and says he can't handle people who cry. I don't know what to do because I am just being myself.
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    I am in this situation too...aside from the exams and stuff... Its not nice
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    Do you have any close friends? I feel you should try to develop yourself away from your boyfriend a bit more. However, his being mean when you cry isn't really on.
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    you're just sensitive he should understand that. don't worry if he shruggs it off but if he keeps doing it too much it may be a signal
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    (Original post by end_it_on_this)
    I am in this situation too...aside from the exams and stuff... Its not nice
    Yeah. I think I just want him to respect me like he used to. It feels like since we have been together he takes me for granted. Think I might give him some space for a while. Ps I'm from Leicester too
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    You sound like a very bad match. He seems very unemotional, and you seem very emotional. You're always going to feel like a burden to him and he's never going to give you what you want. I say end it before it gets worse, but doubtless you won't, so I'll just recommend that you try to build more confidence and self-esteem.
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    (Original post by Diaz89)
    you're just sensitive he should understand that. don't worry if he shruggs it off but if he keeps doing it too much it may be a signal
    He is really sensitive and emotional too so sometimes I think he wants someone strong rather than me. But then, I feel the same way too
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    Toughen up, bitch.
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    (Original post by tetrahydrocannabinol.)
    You sound like a very bad match. He seems very unemotional, and you seem very emotional. You're always going to feel like a burden to him and he's never going to give you what you want. I say end it before it gets worse, but doubtless you won't, so I'll just recommend that you try to build more confidence and self-esteem.
    I was about to type this, almost word-for-word.
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    (Original post by tetrahydrocannabinol.)
    You sound like a very bad match. He seems very unemotional, and you seem very emotional. You're always going to feel like a burden to him and he's never going to give you what you want. I say end it before it gets worse, but doubtless you won't, so I'll just recommend that you try to build more confidence and self-esteem.
    It's actually the opposite. He gets really depressed too but has always admired people who "just get on with it". We both tend to over-analyse things, panic and get depressed about trivial things so I guess turning to each other for support is not really productive. Though despite everything, I feel I support him way more than he does me. It just hurts that he can't do the same, but I know he loves me. I think he genuinely can't bear crying and stress.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah. I think I just want him to respect me like he used to. It feels like since we have been together he takes me for granted. Think I might give him some space for a while. Ps I'm from Leicester too
    Really...I hope its not the same guy , he keeps telling me he wants space...so I havent seen him all week. Seeing him tomorrow for a last talk and if it doesnt work then its over
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    (Original post by burninginme)
    Toughen up, bitch.
    Lol, I'm trying.
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    (Original post by end_it_on_this)
    Really...I hope its not the same guy , he keeps telling me he wants space...so I havent seen him all week. Seeing him tomorrow for a last talk and if it doesnt work then its over
    Aww don't worry he isn't cheating on you. Me and my boyfriend are each other's firsts.
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    (Original post by tetrahydrocannabinol.)
    You sound like a very bad match. He seems very unemotional, and you seem very emotional. You're always going to feel like a burden to him and he's never going to give you what you want. I say end it before it gets worse, but doubtless you won't, so I'll just recommend that you try to build more confidence and self-esteem.
    This is good advice, I need to do this too
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    My poor boyfriend has had to put up with me being an emotional wreck over the last few days! I'm lucky he handles it quite well when I'm having one of my moments =) I think its wrong that your boyfriend isn't being entirely supportive when you're upset however i do think maybe it's a good idea to rely on other people too. Don't get me wrong when i'm upset the first person i want is my boyfriend but i know hes not always around so i make sure i have friends and family around too. If you rely on him too much he might see it as being needy and it might cause arguements between you both. Maybe you could try talking to him? Tell him why you rely on him more than anyone else? Maybe then he'll understand a bit better. Good Luck =) x
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    I just wish I could meet a patient, caring guy who would see me through all my problems without making me feel like a burden. I used to cry when I'd read those stories in magazines about the husband who stuck by his wife with cancer for the last 6 years of her life. I know my boyfriend loves me but he just doesn't show it in the way I want and need him too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aww don't worry he isn't cheating on you. Me and my boyfriend are each other's firsts.
    Ah right, hes been out with like 3 or 4 people before me, hes my first though...maybe thats why we are like this...I think thats the reason I'm so emotionally dependable on him...because hes my first bf, I havent experienced anything like it. Something you and I both need to learn is that we dealt with things ourselves before we met them this is just someone thats come into your life and is "giving you the time of day" but when they are gone or rather IF they are gone, then life still goes on...if you understand?
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    (Original post by end_it_on_this)
    Ah right, hes been out with like 3 or 4 people before me, hes my first though...maybe thats why we are like this...I think thats the reason I'm so emotionally dependable on him...because hes my first bf, I havent experienced anything like it. Something you and I both need to learn is that we dealt with things ourselves before we met them this is just someone thats come into your life and is "giving you the time of day" but when they are gone or rather IF they are gone, then life still goes on...if you understand?
    Totally. Were you stronger before you met him? I hate the fact I become weak when I am around him and cling onto him whenever I'm feeling low. I guess it's cause I feel I can't talk to anyone else about my problems so he is always the first person I turn to. He always refers to this girl he knows when I cry, saying her father died and she has 3 jobs and she is so strong unlike you. It stings so much I am being compared to her and I wish I was stronger but I feel worn down and fed up most of the time.
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    Do you have any close friends? I feel you should try to develop yourself away from your boyfriend a bit more. However, his being mean when you cry isn't really on.
    I have one close friend but I have grown apart from her and find it hard to confide in her. Though when I used to confide in her she would make me feel better like no one else in the world. Since she left uni I have struggled to find that in anyone else.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Totally. Were you stronger before you met him? I hate the fact I become weak when I am around him and cling onto him whenever I'm feeling low. I guess it's cause I feel I can't talk to anyone else about my problems so he is always the first person I turn to. He always refers to this girl he knows when I cry, saying her father died and she has 3 jobs and she is so strong unlike you. It stings so much I am being compared to her and I wish I was stronger but I feel worn down and fed up most of the time.
    Hmm, you sure it isnt the same guy? Haha yea my bf thinks I am weak now. Im glad you posted this thread. Kind of made me realise somethings. When I met him I was such a stronger person and that is what he liked about me believe it or not. Now I'm just weak and cry and stress all the time, and if he doesnt show he cares I cry even more and feel worthless. Its pathetic but really, if he was nicer and stuff when Ive cried for the millionth time that week I think it'd make me EVEN more emotionally dependable. I'm not putting all the blame on me though, theres a lot of things hes done and said that should be left unsaid.

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Updated: December 4, 2008
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