The Student Room Group

Silly things you've overheard being said recently.

Go on, we could all do with a good laugh. Just post some of the daftest, most irrelevant, or just really odd-out-of-context things you've overheard recently.

I'll start with a few.


"I didn't think priests were allowed in pubs- doesn't that anger the gods?"


"Since Jesus wasn't conceived properly, technically he's kind of the first ever test tube baby"


"You can't give a baby a training potty for Christmas, that's so cruel. It's like you giving me toilet roll or tampons or something. Only difference is that I can already use tampons; I'm a big girl now, see."


"I used to be a bit of a perv, but then my Nan threatened to chop my bits off"


"I swear that bird over there is planning which of us to **** on. It has a look in its eyes. So I'm smiling at it so it'll aim for you."

"Is there actual ice in ice cream?"





I can't think of any more at the moment, I'll add to the thread when I remember any. In the meantime, would anyone else care to share amusing contributions? :biggrin:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
"I didn't realise Hendrix was black!"
Reply 2
I was in a queue and behind me was this elderly man, these boy racer type pull into the carpark right outside the shop and they had really loud music playing. The old man turns to the person who hes with and goes " i ever so much like their bongo drums" I was in hysterics :rofl:
Dunno if it's what you're lookign for but I was in the business school café a few weeks ago and behind me a chinese girl ordered 'chocolate bread' - the bloke corrected her (not rudely) by saying "No, it's not chocolate bread, it's 'Payn or chokolatt' (sic) - it's French!"

I had to turn away so they didn't see me laughing - maybe you had to be there to realise how funny it was :biggrin:
Reply 4
woofums
I was in a queue and behind me was this elderly man, these boy racer type pull into the carpark right outside the shop and they had really loud music playing. The old man turns to the person who hes with and goes " i ever so much like their bongo drums" I was in hysterics :rofl:




That's hilarious :biggrin:
Little kid, about 7: "Mum, if Indians come from India, do lesbians come from lesbia?"
Mum: "..."

Made me smile.
Reply 6
A little girl to her mum, I overheard on the Tube; "Why don't men get pregnant? They're the ones with the little sperm monsters, why don't they just keep them and get pregnant themself?"

Made me laugh a lot, especially the "little sperm monsters"...
Reply 7
"i thought islam was a country" - dumb blond from college
Reply 8
"Whats the film 'Kung Fu Panda' actually about?"

ok not the worst/idiotic thing i've heard but it made me lol
Reply 9
I walked into the kitchen the other day and my blonde sister was standing there in front of the fridge staring at a carton of orange juice. I asked her what she was doing and she replied "it says concentrate".

Sorry!! Bad joke.

I have heard some things in my time though but can't think of them at the mo..
Reply 10
'You know this posh christmas dinner thing - it's not just a piss up!'

My friend. Bloody funny.
Reply 11
"Was that thing from Armegeddon real? Cos if it was, I totally missed that!!"
Reply 12
"Was that thing from Armegeddon real? Cos if it was, I totally missed that!!"


:no: What's wrong with the world?
Reply 13
Too Drunk
:no: What's wrong with the world?


Lol. From the same friend a few months ago: "Stephen Hawking? He's the one who does the twinings adverts yeah?"

It's not as funny, that Armegeddon one will stay with me forever, but just to show that it wasn't a one off. She comes up with a real goodun once every week I should think...:tongue:
Reply 14
Kink
Lol. From the same friend a few months ago: "Stephen Hawking? He's the one who does the twinings adverts yeah?"

It's not as funny, that Armegeddon one will stay with me forever, but just to show that it wasn't a one off. She comes up with a real goodun once every week I should think...:tongue:


haha, my friend : " Ah Stephen Hawking..Isn't he lead singer for the darkness? " :biggrin:
"QUICK. Bergerac is on."

Never will I look at chavs in the same way, now I know they rush home on the bus to watch Jersey based 80's detective dramas.
Me and my dad were laughing at a little girl in a restaurant talking because we could hear every word, it was funnier if you were there but still:
"I've been put off going on cruises in the carribbean because I've heard stories about people being hijacked by pirates on them, actual REAL pirates..."

And this was a wtf moment:
"When we live together (her boyfriend) we're so close its scary. We've got no doors in our house at the moment and the other day I was cooking bolegnese and he used the toilet and came into the kitchen and showed me his **** on the toilet paper. That's how ******* close we are."
Reply 17
Botticello
Me and my dad were laughing at a little girl in a restaurant talking because we could hear every word, it was funnier if you were there but still:
"I've been put off going on cruises in the carribbean because I've heard stories about people being hijacked by pirates on them, actual REAL pirates..."

And this was a wtf moment:
"When we live together (her boyfriend) we're so close its scary. We've got no doors in our house at the moment and the other day I was cooking bolegnese and he used the toilet and came into the kitchen and showed me his **** on the toilet paper. That's how ******* close we are."


:eek3:
Botticello

"When we live together (her boyfriend) we're so close its scary. We've got no doors in our house at the moment and the other day I was cooking bolegnese and he used the toilet and came into the kitchen and showed me his **** on the toilet paper. That's how ******* close we are."


:eyeball: He did what??
Reply 19
Friend: "Arent you from vermouth"

Me "do you mean Vermont?"

i cried i laughed so hard :biggrin:

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