Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months now, we're both 20, had relationships before though he's a virgin and i'm not.
I know he's shy, and so far all we've done is kiss and a little bit of feeling around but always over clothes. Now it's not about having sex that's the problem, its just general closeness and intimacy that i seem to always have to initiate.
What i want to know is, do you think it is a sign that maybe he doesn't like me like that, or as much as i like him, because it is always me who has to initiate things first, be it holding his hand, kissing him or anything. Whenever i do though he's fine after, but i always have to start it, and i never did with past relationships so its a big thing for me actually doing it.
What's annoyed me (i know its stupid) is that a few times the past few weeks we've found a few hours where there's noone in at his house, so i'll go over, and unless i give any kind of sign or initiate anything, he wont do anything. Therefore the past 2 times now i've not done anything at all, and leave without even touching him the whole time we're there because he never takes the lead.
(also im getting a little aggrevated by the fact that i'll spend a while getting ready for him, spend hours there and nothing happens, not even a hug, so im wasting time when i could be revising for my exams that'll start next week..)
Basically how can i hint to him, without actually initiating anything, and without asking him or talking to him outright about it because i just cant i love spending time with him, but a little closeness would also be nice..
He's so lovely on texts and things, saying he always misses me and cant wait to see me, so i think, ok it seems like he does like me, but he never shows it when we're together. And yes, i understand he is shy but it is always going to carry on like this?
Does this happen to other people? Guys do you generally take the lead sometimes or are there other girls where they always have to encourage the guy to do anything?!
Blehh.. sorry this is long, its just getting me really down.
Okay well its deffinitely obvious that he likes you... and that hes just shy. You said that hes really lovely on texts right.. he says nice things.. thats becuase its so much easier to say them over texts than anything else and thats a sure sign that he is really shy. Its not that he doesnt like you .. it just seems like becuase hes a virgin he may not have much experience and hes unsure of what to do and he thinks he might do something wrong.
Seriously.. the best thing you can do is talk to him.. it might be hard but just say it nicely .. let him know that you are getting confused because he is not showing you much effection and you are just wondering if there is a problem or if anything is wrong?
My friend is going through the exact same thing righ tnow .. she likes this guy and he is SOOO shy.. when they are together he doesnt show that he likes her which makes her have second thoughts.. but when he calls her or texts her hes so much more open and tells her he misses her. She just opened up and asked him why he doesnt show anything in person.. well first she asked his friend. He said that he is suppperrr shy and doesnt know what to do with a girl in that way.
So ya.. just talk to him about it.. thats the only way everything will be straightened out. Communication is key!
been in the situation myself from the guys point of view. it was my first relationship (albeit i was 17 and not 20) and at the start of the relationship i was too shy to really initiate anything, unless she gave me signs or initiated herself.
it really just is a case of shyness, i, however overcame it sharpish and it got the point where i was initiating almost everything.
in your case it seems that he is REALLY shy, but he does like you a lot, so if you can bear, try and talk to him about it, as this seems the only way to get anywhere tbh...
i know how you feel
i've been seeing a guy for a bit
he's really shy - i've been told by a friend that she doesn't think he's ever had a girlfreind before..and when i started seeing him i'd just come out of a 10 month relationship
but the problem is is that i'm really shy too, in the early days with my ex (before i got really really comfortable with him) i always relied on him to initiate things..so now i'm sort of stuck, we spend loads of time together..but we just sit there talking
I honestly thing the best thing to do is just talk to him. It's clear he likes you and you are comfortable together, so a talk shouldn't be too hard, as you can just ask him what's going on and maybe reassure him that it's ok for him to touch you; he doesn't have to wait to be asked. Maybe he's shy but also very polite? Doesn't want to seem too forceful so just isn't at all.
i was like he was - teeeeeerribly shy and awkward and really scared of what people thought of me. they'd have to initiate it because i'd be too scared. and then i'd still be terrified. i was always the fat kid and that reaaaally got me down, felt like they were just taking the piss.
i'm better now, though. it was because i was so insecure, i think. don't accuse him of being uncaring 'cause that'll just upset him. you'll really just have to make him feel comfortable :] keep initiating it until he's ready himself. if this doesn't work, you may have to sit him down and say something. good luck, he sounds like he really likes you, so don't let this little thing get you down :]
Thanks so much for all the replies (except the one above..) i guess it is to do with the shyness, though with his previous relationship he did everything but sex (which i asked while quite tipsy.. i only seem to be able to talk about anything like that with him while drinking hmm) though i don't know if it was him or her initiating it.
I just don't understand why he's that shy and he can't be too insecure because he's so good looking, done a few modelling things and he's such a sweetheart.. yeah i'm just going to have to talk to him about it somehow, i find talking about these things so so hard
Thanks so much for all the replies (except the one above..) i guess it is to do with the shyness, though with his previous relationship he did everything but sex (which i asked while quite tipsy.. i only seem to be able to talk about anything like that with him while drinking hmm) though i don't know if it was him or her initiating it.
I just don't understand why he's that shy and he can't be too insecure because he's so good looking, done a few modelling things and he's such a sweetheart.. yeah i'm just going to have to talk to him about it somehow, i find talking about these things so so hard
In my experience, many models are very insecure about there bodies, every little flaw is picked over, and they have to be almost perfect for their work.
I think he's probably worried about initiating something, then you not recipricating or being offended. Talk.
How is this to do with sexual health?! I said it's not about sex.. pff.
You know what, a while back my friends and i thought he may have been gay as he never mentioned any girls ever, but then i found he'd had a gf etc, but you never know, i could have been that bad that i've turned him gay... great.
He's far too polite, im getting to point where i just want him to jump on me. But i guess that won't happen untill i talk about it, again, great.
Sounds like he's just shy and nervous about initiating things,maybe let him know its ok? Failing that, you could get him drunk, might lower his inhibitions?
I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months now, we're both 20, had relationships before though he's a virgin and i'm not.
I know he's shy, and so far all we've done is kiss and a little bit of feeling around but always over clothes. Now it's not about having sex that's the problem, its just general closeness and intimacy that i seem to always have to initiate.
What i want to know is, do you think it is a sign that maybe he doesn't like me like that, or as much as i like him, because it is always me who has to initiate things first, be it holding his hand, kissing him or anything. Whenever i do though he's fine after, but i always have to start it, and i never did with past relationships so its a big thing for me actually doing it.
What's annoyed me (i know its stupid) is that a few times the past few weeks we've found a few hours where there's noone in at his house, so i'll go over, and unless i give any kind of sign or initiate anything, he wont do anything. Therefore the past 2 times now i've not done anything at all, and leave without even touching him the whole time we're there because he never takes the lead.
(also im getting a little aggrevated by the fact that i'll spend a while getting ready for him, spend hours there and nothing happens, not even a hug, so im wasting time when i could be revising for my exams that'll start next week..)
Basically how can i hint to him, without actually initiating anything, and without asking him or talking to him outright about it because i just cant i love spending time with him, but a little closeness would also be nice..
He's so lovely on texts and things, saying he always misses me and cant wait to see me, so i think, ok it seems like he does like me, but he never shows it when we're together. And yes, i understand he is shy but it is always going to carry on like this?
Does this happen to other people? Guys do you generally take the lead sometimes or are there other girls where they always have to encourage the guy to do anything?!
Blehh.. sorry this is long, its just getting me really down.
Sounds exactly like me I don't mind it, I enjoy it, but I worry too much about the consequeces. Like if I kiss her am I doing it at the wrong time? will she leave because of this?
Sounds exactly like me I don't mind it, I enjoy it, but I worry too much about the consequeces. Like if I kiss her am I doing it at the wrong time? will she leave because of this?
see what i'm getting at?
I do understand, because that's why i've stopped initiating things, i think he doesn't like it so i don't wanna put him through something he doesn't want to do. He seems fine when we are but again, it's always me starting things so maybe he doesnt like kissing as much as i do.
Not that i want to, but i think one glass of wine may help me to open up a bit more and actually mention something about it sometime. I'm trying not to drink so this isn't useful, but ahh well.
Does he cum on your face? That's a sign of affection for most boys (or so they tell me LOL) It's happened to me 5 or 6 times now, mostly by strangers, so I guess it's pretty normal.
Haha, this is how a guy probably used to feel about me.
I always waited for him to initiate things because I was suffering from very low self-esteem and couldn't imagine that anyone in their right mind could possibly want to kiss me, let alone do anything else... so when he did, it was kinda like proof that he did.
Maybe it's something like that?
Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
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He doesn't kiss me/hold my hand..anything
i love spending time with him, but a little closeness would also be nice..
Re: He doesn't kiss me/hold my hand..anything
