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Boyfriend's Ultimatum.
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Yeah, tbh, I think you need to find someone with the same morals/religious beliefs as yourself so that this kind of thing doesn't happen. There's nothing wrong with what your boyfriend is asking of you- it's completely normal to have sex with someone you love. I think it's unfair to deny him this. He obviously doesn't share the same views as you on it, and either way, one of you are going to end up unhappy. You will have to undermine your values to give him sex. Or he will have to give up that intimacy and sex if he stays with you. No one will win and it isn't fair on either of you, especially him, to do this. I know relationships are about compromise but sometimes, it can be a lose-lose situation.
p78edu
You can't expect to be with a guy for 2 years who's slept with someone and think he'll just give it up. Get real.
Why not? I gave it up for my current girlfriend, after being in a previous relationship where I had sex. Sex isn't the world to everyone, sometimes other things are more important.
Sounds like he's being perfectly fair and honest with you, why are you asking for advice? Nobody here is going to be able to tell you which decision is right for you, i'm afraid you have to make up your own mind.
How would you feel telling your boyfriend that you based your choice about possibly the single most important thing in your relationship with him on what a bunch of people on the internet said? You probably already know yourself what you're going to do, you're just seeking validation, so if it helps at all, there is no God, so you're decision has relevance only to you, and the consequences either way will be pretty short term and very worldly.
How would you feel telling your boyfriend that you based your choice about possibly the single most important thing in your relationship with him on what a bunch of people on the internet said? You probably already know yourself what you're going to do, you're just seeking validation, so if it helps at all, there is no God, so you're decision has relevance only to you, and the consequences either way will be pretty short term and very worldly.
It works for some, but in general I think it can be quite hard for people with different religions to be together - it usually implies quite a different way of thinking about things...
Anonymous
Why not? I gave it up for my current girlfriend, after being in a previous relationship where I had sex. Sex isn't the world to everyone, sometimes other things are more important.
Just curious, but why did you have to give up sex for your current partner?
Stick to your principles...not a lot of us have those anymore
Emmsiewoo
He's obvusouldy not worth it. My boyfriend waited 3 years...and then it was my choice. He obviously found it frustrating at times but if he truely loves you he wouldn't even TRY pushing it.
Not judging you or your boyf but that guy must have balls of steel and one arm much bigger than the other!
Sooze.™
I Have A Man And We've Been Going Out For 2 Years And A Bit. Even Though I'm Young, I'm Not Stupid Or Naive And I Know This Isn't The Kind Of Relationship I Can Stumble Across Anytime Soon. He Is So Lovely, Beautiful, Intelligent And Such A Funny Guy. He Is Very Respectful, There's Only One Problem - Sex. He Had Been Sexually Active Before We Started Going Out But When We Got Together He Stopped. He Understands That I Don't Want To Rush As I Am A Christian. I Know Its Love, That's Undeniable But He's Been Saying It's Been 2 Years And He's Been Patient. So He Gave Me Time To Make A Decision, We Do It Or We Break Up, Since He Doesn't Want To But He Claims He Is Getting Impatient. I Love Him So Much But Should Sacrifice My Values And Morals For Him?
Tbf sex in a relationships for blokes is important, tbh if youre not comfortable, break up because its a big part of a relationship. Im surprised he lasted 2 years.
titanomachy
Just curious, but why did you have to give up sex for your current partner?
She's a virgin and wants to remain so until married. I love her very much and realise that whilst we don't necessarily agree on religion (she's Christian I'm atheist), there are more important things than sex. We get on perfectly like bread and butter, and I doubt very much i'd be able to find another like her (going on past experience of multiple partners). If giving up sex before marriage means I get to be with the most caring & loving person I've ever met, then it's a very small price indeed.
DO NOT sacrifice your beliefs. It is totally unfair for him to do this, emotional blackmail is what it is.
Dump his ass and stay a virgin. You won't regret it. You are more likely to regret sleeping with him.
Trust me, this is experience talking!
Dump his ass and stay a virgin. You won't regret it. You are more likely to regret sleeping with him.
Trust me, this is experience talking!
Emmsiewoo
He's obvusouldy not worth it. My boyfriend waited 3 years...and then it was my choice. He obviously found it frustrating at times but if he truely loves you he wouldn't even TRY pushing it.
I agree with this.
IMHO, putting pressure on someone to have sex is not really acceptable, and in the OP's case her boyfriend is basically saying 'if you want the relationship to continue, have sex with me'. Yes, 2 years is a long time, but if he's coped this long, what's stopping him now?
He has no right to give you such an ultimatum imo...it puts a lot of pressure on you
Go out with someone who has the same beliefs. Anything else will simply not work. You have to ask yourself which you value more. Personally I think you need to realise sex isn't a big deal and shouldn't be a big deal. That being said, you're young. Guys will come and go. Why worry?
AugustGold
DO NOT sacrifice your beliefs. It is totally unfair for him to do this, emotional blackmail is what it is.
Dump his ass and stay a virgin. You won't regret it. You are more likely to regret sleeping with him.
Trust me, this is experience talking!
Dump his ass and stay a virgin. You won't regret it. You are more likely to regret sleeping with him.
Trust me, this is experience talking!
^ This.
My ex was a christian also. Sex is not needed to have a good relationship.
I guess he wants something more from the relationship? You can make it up in other ways apart from sex.
Either that or dump him.
Your boyfriend sounds like a right douchebag.
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