This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Why are we so scared of change?

let me give you a specific example to me.

a new flatmate moved in today. now i've known everyone else for a few months, so we all know where we stand with each other.
i wanted to make friends with this new flatmate, but i just "couldn't".

i dunno why, but i seem so scared of change.
its driving me nuts!

but the thing is if i do something new and it goes wrong, it will shatter my confidence, which is already very low. :mad:

Reply 1

Determination.

imagine how this new roommate feels, he/she has been shoved in a flat not knowing anyone. Even if you were neurotic i think theyd still want to make friends, it beats being alone.

Reply 2

bodmer123

OP

Determination.

imagine how this new roommate feels, he/she has been shoved in a flat not knowing anyone. Even if you were neurotic i think theyd still want to make friends, it beats being alone.

yeah but the thing is no-one else is going up to them.

suppose:
i go up to them and say hi etc, and then we don't get on.
every single time we see each other in future she'll be thinking what a weirdo i am.
also she'll probably end up being really popular and look down on me :frown:

Reply 3

bavink

11

Im not scared of change i voted obama haha

Reply 4

bodmer123

OP

bavink

Im not scared of change i voted obama haha

lol.
i wish i was as confident as obama

Reply 5

*Star*Guitar*

17

It requires some element of risk. Some people are more risk-taking than others.

Reply 6

bodmer123

OP

*Star*Guitar*

It requires some element of risk. Some people are more risk-taking than others.

but when i think about it, risk taking is stupid, you might as well stick to your comfort zone and be happy.

but thats the thing - something inside of me is a massive risk taker (my heart) but my brain always tells me not too, and usually wins.
Uhhhh!

Reply 7

*Star*Guitar*

17

bodmer123

but when i think about it, risk taking is stupid, you might as well stick to your comfort zone and be happy.

Well its also a risk to stay just as you are; because hindsight may end up showing you that it would have been better to move out of your comfort zone and may show missed opportunities. Staying where you are can breed familiarity and stagnation.
Ever since I came to Uni and really moved out of my comfort zone, its something I always strive to do. I love the fear of it in a weird way, I've done so many things that I wouldn't have done otherwise.
Just look at the film 'the Yes Man'.

Reply 8

HappyHupo

bodmer123

let me give you a specific example to me.

a new flatmate moved in today. now i've known everyone else for a few months, so we all know where we stand with each other.
i wanted to make friends with this new flatmate, but i just "couldn't".

i dunno why, but i seem so scared of change.
its driving me nuts!

but the thing is if i do something new and it goes wrong, it will shatter my confidence, which is already very low. :mad:

Most people are afraid of change - some just cover it up better than others. You've just got to go for it though - if you don't, you'll always be wondering what if (not necessarily in the example you've given but in life generally).

And if it all goes wrong, so what? You've not lost anything :smile:

Reply 9

strawberrywine_

3

Because sometimes it's not necessary.

Reply 10

PeanutButterJellyTime

I think people are scared of change incase things don't work out and the past ends up being better than the present.

Reply 12

annadancingirl

i dont know why change is scary, but it just is.
its scary not knowing what the future holds, but if you go up to this person and say hi, then surley that is makeing the future, and you know where you stand and what is going to happen?
so its less scary?

Reply 13

bodmer123

OP

annadancingirl

i dont know why change is scary, but it just is.
its scary not knowing what the future holds, but if you go up to this person and say hi, then surley that is makeing the future, and you know where you stand and what is going to happen?
so its less scary?

no because she might not like me

Reply 14

Haz313

13

Because you're a conservative? :p:

Reply 15

annadancingirl

bodmer123

no because she might not like me

but if she doesnt like you, you are no worse off, and at least you know where you stand?

Reply 16

Danielle89

14

Are you saying no-one else has gone and said hi to her? Go now! How would you feel if you moved into a flat and no-one spoke to you??? How rude are you and your flatmates?!

Reply 17

i_<3_you

just take the risk, it shouldnt matter to you if she wont like you, its not like shes some amazing person who everyone adores, and if she doesnt like you no one else will.. you wont lose anything either. And plus what harm is it going to cause if you be polite. Last time i checked by saying hi to someone and being polite and welcoming, it comes out with good outcomes not bad outcomes... who knows what will happen in the future, just take the risk, and be prepared
plus she must be feeling really lonely as noone has said hi to her, make her feel at home, atleast welcome her!
:smile:

Reply 18

bodmer123

OP

Danielle89

Are you saying no-one else has gone and said hi to her? Go now! How would you feel if you moved into a flat and no-one spoke to you??? How rude are you and your flatmates?!