I don't have friends. In fact, I find it extremely difficult to make friends. Apart from the fact that I never ever go out and meet people, I feel that if I give too much of myself to someone I can no longer possess myself.
It is the same with work. I find if I give myself too much to work (i.e working long hours) I feel like I am no longer my own. Remember that Nietzsche quote?
No price is too high for owning yourself.Anyway, whenever I do try and meet people, make friends, they don't last very long. I think the longest friendship was 3 weeks. I seem to have this natural urge to move on. As soon as I meet people I find myself slowly drifting away from them. At one time it would hurt me. I felt upset that I couldn't make friends. But now, I've excepted my fate.
I am always moving on and this is reflected in the fact that I cannot settle in any place, in any town or city anywhere in the country for more than a year or two. After two years I get that urge to move again. I don't know what it is.
I find it easy to strike up a convo' but anything else proves difficult. I just cannot make meaningful friendship no matter how hard I try. The problem is deeply rooted within me. I find that my idols are loners and misanthropes. My interests, like my dreams, are obscure.
I am not alone, I presume. Are you like me?