Is oral sex a big deal?

my good god. Is this what girls read in cosmo? This is nearly word for word what my ex said...

its gotta be less intimate than sex... possibly less intimate than a kiss

Why would your ex say she needed to give a blowjob to get out of a sticky situation? This wasn't while she was with you at least?

Desperate guys dream of girls with a weak personality. At least they dream of finding one for a one night stand. A lot of girls hate confrontation so much that a little blowjob is no biggie. When the guys pretending he'd be terribly hurt and you'd be an awful person not to give in...
What's funny is that a guy will end up calling a girl a slut in that kind of situation if the girl doesn't give in, yet won't go out with a girl who gives in easily in that kind of situation because she'd be a "slut".

ummmm, when i say ex i mean current. and when i say 'in the past' i mean 'a month ago'

Hmmm that is really interesting.
I can kind of see where you are coming from in a way. I said this before but I think men receiving oral sex is a lot less intimate than a women receiving it. I dunno why I just feel that way about it.
Sex is a lot closer and emotional I would say, but me receiving oral sex is a lot more personal than having sex with someone, it's all to do with the exposure of it.

its gotta be less intimate than sex... possibly less intimate than a kiss

Did she cheat on you or was this just before you got together?

a few days before we became official, but after we had been seeing each other for a bit.

I personally wouldn't date any girl who did that while we were starting to see each other. But it's your choice. I might try to get over it but it would be on my mind incessantly and although, I'd be fine sleeping with her, committing would be difficult. But that's just my position...

mmm, certainly have lost a trust element. Fact is tho im (stupidly or not) nuts about her, and technically she did nothing wrong (did i mention that the guy in question is the most beer bellied obnoxious tw*t around), tho literally it felt like someone had ripped out my heart and stamped all over it for about a week afterwards. I'd say it has fooked thing up big time, but right now im focusing more on showing her just how stupid she'd be to do anything like it again through being the perfect b/f. become indispensible if you like. And in the mean time work on making sure i have more going for me in my life than just her, so if ever sh did pull another stunt, i would have some backups. (im talking more backup friends than lovers!)

There's something not right about thinking that way.
If you can't see the intimacy, it might be because you're not connecting with the person, which can't be a good thing. You should be seeing what you're sharing with that person, what they might be feeling and how they might be perceiving you doing the act. There's more than the actual action you're doing.
Oral sex on a woman is not more intimate. As a guy, I could think that when I go down on a girl, it's as intimate as licking an ice-cream if I just think about the act I'm doing and not the bigger picture of what I'm sharing with that person.

It is more intimate for me because I am a woman.
Not that i would - but I am more likely to give oral sex to a stranger than take it from a stranger.
But that's just me and I am entitled to my own opinion on the matter just as you are.
I think everything sexual is intimate if you are with the right person, if you are in love anything from cuddling to sex is veru intimate - whereas if it is just a one night stand it is not going to be intimate at all (well not for me it wouldn't be).

I feel your pain. I went through a similar thing with an ex a few years ago. I'm not going to bore you again with the story as I've probably mentioned it twice in posts above. It took away all respect and feelings I had for her. The worst part was that I tried to understand but I just couldn't.
Why a girl would accept or feel the need to do something like that when she's already met someone she likes beats me completely. It seems like something some girl desperate for affection and who's going about it completely the wrong way (behaving like that isn't going to get any girl respect or affection. She might get a guy interested in shagging her for a bit but that's it) would do.
I'd also watch out with these excuses. They could just be used to reassure themselves they had little to do with the whole thing (which in effect, doesn't make it any better).

It is more intimate for me because I am a woman.
Not that i would - but I am more likely to give oral sex to a stranger than take it from a stranger.
But that's just me and I am entitled to my own opinion on the matter just as you are.
I think everything sexual is intimate if you are with the right person, if you are in love anything from cuddling to sex is veru intimate - whereas if it is just a one night stand it is not going to be intimate at all (well not for me it wouldn't be).

dammit am i the only girl who agrees with foolfarian????

if i invite a guy to my room, maybe for a talk or a kiss then im only gonna go as far as i want to. if he started demanding blows etc i'd sure as hell say no if i didnt want to. and nothing he says will make it any different. im 5 ft 1 and i dont care.

there's no such thing as semi rape. there's rape and theres consent. if you are drunk but say yes, then you have to take responsibility for your actions. and to be fair, if i was drunk and my bf was horney i woulddnt take him to my room unless i wanted something to happen. so helen think before you talk. if you say no then mean no.

It is more intimate for me because I am a woman.
Not that i would - but I am more likely to give oral sex to a stranger than take it from a stranger.
But that's just me and I am entitled to my own opinion on the matter just as you are.
I think everything sexual is intimate if you are with the right person, if you are in love anything from cuddling to sex is veru intimate - whereas if it is just a one night stand it is not going to be intimate at all (well not for me it wouldn't be).