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help with prefect application

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    Hi, this is my prefect application and would really appreciate it if someone can have a look at it and give some comments on how to improve it. (my grammer is pretty bad so don't laugh )Thank you so much!

    I would like to become a prefect as I see this is a great opportunity to contribute back to the school from which I have taken so much. I believe I have the qualities required of a General Prefect as I am reliable, responsible and am prepared to carry out duties to the best of my ability. I am confident that I can set a good example to all students in the school, as I am sensible, mature and always follow our sixth form’s code of conduct. I have regularly helped out at parents evenings and curriculum evening, from which I have gained confidence in communicating with parents and visitors. I have also volunteered to be part of the Reading Challenge where I tutored a year 7 students with her reading, I have really enjoyed this and have developed valuable skills in interacting and motivating younger students. Outside of school, I am also committed to various volunteer works, such as caring for patients at a Marie Curie Hospice, helping out at after-school clubs for disabled children and being a member of St John Ambulance with which I offer first aid to people. All of these activities have allowed me to gain experience in interacting with a wide range of people, working as a team and develop a sense of responsibility and commitment. I believe I am prepared to take on the extra responsibility of being a senior prefect.
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    It sounds fine really, I've corrected a bit of grammar but your grammar isn't that bad!

    (Original post by bunzy)
    I would like to become a prefect as I see this is a great opportunity to contribute back to the school from which I have taken so much. I believe I have the qualities required of a General Prefect as I am reliable, responsible and am prepared to carry out duties to the best of my ability. I am confident that I can set a good example to all students in the school, as I am sensible, mature and always follow our sixth form’s code of conduct. I have regularly helped out at parents evenings and curriculum evening, from which I have gained confidence in communicating with parents and visitors. I have also volunteered to be part of the Reading Challenge where I tutored a year 7 students (should be the singular 'student') with her reading, I have really enjoyed this and have developed valuable skills in interacting and motivating younger students. Outside of school, I am also committed to various volunteer works (I would change this to 'voluntary roles'), such as caring for patients at a Marie Curie Hospice, helping out at after-school clubs for disabled children and being a member of St John Ambulance with which I offer first aid to people (This bit sounds odd, maybe try 'as a first aider'). All of these activities have allowed me to gain experience in (should be 'of') interacting with a wide range of people, working as a team and develop (should be 'developing')a sense of responsibility and commitment. I believe I am prepared to take on the extra responsibility of being a senior prefect.
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    thank you so much!
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    You have to apply to become a prefect?
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    (Original post by bunzy)
    I would like to become a prefect as I see this is a great opportunity to contribute back to the school from which I have taken so much.
    I think the whole thing is good, however instead of putting what you put above I'd advise:
    I would like to become a prefect as I see this is an excellent opportunity to contribute back to this school, which had supported me greatly.

    I think 'taken so much' sounds a bit like you've ravaged the place.
    And omg, you come from newcastle right? As in, Newcastle upon Tyne? Me too!
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    (Original post by HighSkies)
    I think the whole thing is good, however instead of putting what you put above I'd advise:
    I would like to become a prefect as I see this is an excellent opportunity to contribute back to this school, which had supported me greatly.

    I think 'taken so much' sounds a bit like you've ravaged the place.
    And omg, you come from newcastle right? As in, Newcastle upon Tyne? Me too!
    hehe thanks, yep im from newcastle, why? is it that unusual for newcastle people to go on TSR?
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    (Original post by bunzy)
    hehe thanks, yep im from newcastle, why? is it that unusual for newcastle people to go on TSR?
    You're the first person I've see nthats all. But I haven't been on TSR too long tho so I can't really say.
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    This link really helped me.

    realityisyourperception.blogspot .com/.../prefect-application-due.html

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