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What you should not have/do in your Oxbridge application

OK, many people focus too much on the positives - "yes you got that", "it's ok, maths is respected" etc. Well, I for one think that we need to focus on the negatives - what you should NOT have/do in your Oxbridge application.

Go!

Reply 1

hobnob

14

Well, there are several things which spring to mind...
1. Submit a personal statement written entirely in text speak.
2. Throughout your PS, gush about the wrong subject.
3. On your admission test, answer every question with "Yes". If it's multiple choice and the alternatives don't include "Yes", assume that it's a trick question, cross them out, replace them with "Yes" and then tick them all.
4. For your written work, send in a piece of creative writing which describes in 12,000 lines of iambic hexameter how much you enjoy shooting squirrels from your bedroom window.
5. Threaten to burn down your first-choice college if they don't offer you a place.
6. There is NO rule six.
7. Go to the interview wearing nothing but bodypaint.

Reply 2

Lilliesha

hobnob

Well, there are several things which spring to mind...
1. Submit a personal statement written entirely in text speak.
2. Throughout your PS, gush about the wrong subject.
3. On your admission test, answer every question with "Yes". If it's multiple choice and the alternatives don't include "Yes", assume that it's a trick question, cross them out, replace them with "Yes" and then tick them all.
4. For your written work, send in a piece of creative writing which describes in 12,000 lines of iambic hexameter how much you enjoy shooting squirrels from your bedroom window.
5. Threaten to burn down your first-choice college if they don't offer you a place.
6. There is NO rule six.
7. Go to the interview wearing nothing but bodypaint.

Definitely this.

Reply 3

im so academic

OP

15

hobnob

Well, there are several things which spring to mind...
1. Submit a personal statement written entirely in text speak.
2. Throughout your PS, gush about the wrong subject.
3. On your admission test, answer every question with "Yes". If it's multiple choice and the alternatives don't include "Yes", assume that it's a trick question, cross them out, replace them with "Yes" and then tick them all.
4. For your written work, send in a piece of creative writing which describes in 12,000 lines of iambic hexameter how much you enjoy shooting squirrels from your bedroom window.
5. Threaten to burn down your first-choice college if they don't offer you a place.
6. There is NO rule six.
7. Go to the interview wearing nothing but bodypaint.

Nice idea! :tongue:

Reply 4

cpchem

14

How about 'do you know who i am... im so academic from teh interwebz'

That'll impress admissions tutors. Guaranteed.

Reply 5

Teebs

16

I've always heard posting stupid questions on TSR is a good way of getting yourself rejected.

Reply 6

jw366

7. Go to the interview wearing nothing but bodypaint.

I guess Oxford is way uptight but half the people at Cambridge don only a single layer of the college colours in body paint and I hear the fellow are all very flattered by their loyalty and devotion.

Reply 7

hobnob

14

jw366

I guess Oxford is way uptight but half the people at Cambridge don only a single layer of the college colours in body paint and I hear the fellow are all very flattered by their loyalty and devotion.

It's not so much the uptightness as the fact that it leads to very awkward situations when people are being interviewed by more than one college (which is usually the case). Unless they're lucky enough to be sent from one navy-and-white college to another, but that rarely happens.

Reply 8

eulerwaswrong

13

hobnob

Well, there are several things which spring to mind...
1. Submit a personal statement written entirely in text speak.
2. Throughout your PS, gush about the wrong subject.
3. On your admission test, answer every question with "Yes". If it's multiple choice and the alternatives don't include "Yes", assume that it's a trick question, cross them out, replace them with "Yes" and then tick them all.
4. For your written work, send in a piece of creative writing which describes in 12,000 lines of iambic hexameter how much you enjoy shooting squirrels from your bedroom window.
5. Threaten to burn down your first-choice college if they don't offer you a place.
6. There is NO rule six.
7. Go to the interview wearing nothing but bodypaint.

^^^this - end of thread.

Um personally i think the big thing is is to have a good interview - my module results at as level werent anything special, i have very few extra ciriculars and charity work, theres not all that much i do have. But i went into the inteview relaxed and just enjoyed myself - i even told a joke, laughed at one of my mistakes to the question, "said what a shambolic schoolboy error" - they had a little laugh aswell - i came out thinking i had quite enjoyed the last 2 hours but think it went dreadfully - i told them "i dont know" about 20 times.

But i think they liked me, could see i was quite good at maths, and that i was confident enough and wasnt shy even in one of the most important interviews of my life.

Reply 9

Good bloke

19

im so academic

OK, many people focus too much on the positives - "yes you got that", "it's ok, maths is respected" etc. Well, I for one think that we need to focus on the negatives - what you should NOT have/do in your Oxbridge application.

Go!

From sig:

omdz, could Good Bloke be either an Oxford or Cambridgea admission tutor?

Interesting sig. I'm certainly not a Cambridgea admissions tutor; I don't even know where it is unless, like so many things posted on TSR, it is a figment of your imagination.

Reply 10

nuodai

17

Teebs

I've always heard posting stupid questions on TSR is a good way of getting yourself rejected.

As much as I think most if ISA's posts are bull, this one could actually be useful for potential applicants :p:

I think the only ways to really get yourself rejected are:
- Doing obvious, stupid things like in hobnob's post
- Pretending to know everything about your course before you're even on it
- Having no enthusiasm for the subject you want to study there

But these apply to all unis, not just Oxford/Cambridge.

Reply 11

hobnob

14

Good bloke

Interesting sig. I'm certainly not a Cambridgea admissions tutor; I don't even know where it is unless, like so many things posted on TSR, it is a figment of your imagination.

I thought a cambridgea was a type of flower (sort of like a hydrangea, but more prestigious)?

Reply 12

Good bloke

19

I've googled and found that cambridgea is a genus of spider found in New Zealand - the sheetweb spider. http://www.maorishowbands.co.nz/TePapa/Maori/CollectionsAndResearch/CollectionAreas/NaturalEnvironment/InsectsSpidersAndSimilar/SpidersWeb/What/Sheetweb.htm

Cambridega Academica is particularly interesting. It prowls the interweb seeking admissions tutors and then sinks its fangs into them in the hope of successful admission to their lair, where it will quickly cause depredation by eating their babies.

Reply 13

Dijobla

17

hobnob

I thought a cambridgea was a type of flower (sort of like a hydrangea, but more prestigious)?

Well, I lol'd.

Reply 14

jw366

It's not so much the uptightness as the fact that it leads to very awkward situations when people are being interviewed by more than one college (which is usually the case). Unless they're lucky enough to be sent from one navy-and-white college to another, but that rarely happens.

Ah, I see. Well 'im so academic' should consider this important point when he's figuring out which of the two Universities he's going to wow with his brilliance and well-preparedness.

Reply 15

D-Day

10

Teebs

I've always heard posting stupid questions on TSR is a good way of getting yourself rejected.

I'm pretty sure that posting stupid responses to stupid questions is also a no-no.

Reply 16

cpchem

14

D-Day

I'm pretty sure that posting stupid responses to stupid questions is also a no-no.

Doesn't especially matter when you're already here, though :tongue:

Reply 17

necessarily benevolent

14

Teebs

I've always heard posting stupid questions on TSR is a good way of getting yourself rejected.

This man speaks the truth. :wink:

Reply 18

Teebs

16

D-Day

I'm pretty sure that posting stupid responses to stupid questions is also a no-no.

As cpchem generously pointed out, my admission to Oxford University is not in question.

Reply 19

im so academic

OP

15

Good bloke

From sig:

Interesting sig. I'm certainly not a Cambridgea admissions tutor; I don't even know where it is unless, like so many things posted on TSR, it is a figment of your imagination.

Are you suggesting you are a Cambridge admission tutor? :eek:

Crap...

What you should not have/do in your Oxbridge application

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