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My mom wont accept my brother being gay :(

well it must be weird having a gay kid lol... end of the family tree and all that....
its a shame programs like hollyoaks are portraying being gay as normal in my opinion

Reply 21

running_with_scissors

1

Wow, that's tough, but you can't really blame her. It's a big revelation, especially after 25 years. She would have had dreams of your brother having kids etc. and for those to disappear in one instant so suddenly must be tough.

I don't know the type of person that your mum is, OP, but she may never really accept your brother. Who knows, she may just need time to let it all sink in and will be able to accept it later on. But be prepared that she may never accept it, it's harsh, but it could happen. Just be there for both of them and give it some time.

Reply 22

4G_dollars

Anonymous

Hi everyone, iv never used this before so here goes.

I'm 17 and my brother is 25 a few weeks ago he told me he was gay which i accepted as he's my brother and have no problem with this but he didn't want to tell our parents until he was ready (our parents are separated, we both live with our mom)

My dad txt me yesterday afternoon saying he nos about my brother, and he is happy and accepts it.

BUT...

I got home from college yesterday and my mom totally blanked me so i asked what i had done and she started screaming at me saying i should have told her about my brother and that its "sick and disgusting", i told her that it is not my place to tell her and that there is nothing wrong with my brother liking men and not woman but she got really angry with me. My brother came round today but my mom said she would only let him in if he is there to collect his things as he is no longer welcome. I'm so angry with her! I don't understand how she can be so selfish and just cut her own son out of her life! I don't no what to do as she gets angry with me when i mention him and it is really upsetting me
Any suggestions about how I can get her to talk to him etc?
Help anyone... :frown:

This might come across as nasty.
Firstly, how dare you insult your mother? The very woman has brought you up, who has given birth to you and you just slapped across with the face with an insult like that.
Secondly, it might be shocking, for once just look at it from her point of view; who can blame her? Perhaps like many in this country, she finds the idea of homosexuality incomprehensible. She gave birth to brother, took care of him, guided him, and she feels that his choice of homosexuality is a slap on the face. Who can blame her? Like many parents, they have dreams I suppose is the word here, of what their children future will be like, perhaps she wanted to see her son have children.
I would do the very same, if I had a child (at the moment I don't) who turned out to be gay.

Reply 23

Annie72

17

OP I"m sorry your mum is behaving like this, but perhaps she is in shock. Also how did she find out, was it from your dad?. It could be that she is feeling upset because she would have preferred your brother to tell her himself. I have already told both of my sons that if they were to come out as gay would still love them because they are my children. I"m their mother and I love them unconditionally......I dont care if they have sex with men, women or both as long as they are happy.

Theres nothing wrong with being gay.

Reply 24

ADREAM

11

4G_dollars

This might come across as nasty.
Firstly, how dare you insult your mother? The very woman has brought you up, who has given birth to you and you just slapped across with the face with an insult like that.
Secondly, it might be shocking, for once just look at it from her point of view; who can blame her? Perhaps like many in this country, she finds the idea of homosexuality incomprehensible. She gave birth to brother, took care of him, guided him, and she feels that his choice of homosexuality is a slap on the face. Who can blame her? Like many parents, they have dreams I suppose is the word here, of what their children future will be like, perhaps she wanted to see her son have children.
I would do the very same, if I had a child (at the moment I don't) who turned out to be gay.

Reply 25

Ben Curnow

5

4G_dollars

She gave birth to brother, took care of him, guided him, and she feels that his choice of homosexuality is a slap on the face.

Why do you think that it's a choice?

Reply 26

starcarton

10

Well I think its a bit of a cheap excuse for all those saying she probably imagined him getting married and having kids, its the end of the family tree etc. He isn't her only child, the OP is his sister/brother, the OP can still have kids (if that's their choice).

You've a right to be angry here OP, and you should be able to expect a hell of a lot more from your mother. However, the person that will need support here is your brother. I'm sure he feels absolutely heartbroken being disowned by his mother and so try to talk to him, and make sure he is ok. Hopefully in time your mum will come round, yes it is a bit fo a shock, but its no excuse for her response. Good luck for everything, I hope it all works out.

Reply 27

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

This is why I'm afraid to come out. Heterosexual people take their sexuality for granted, in my opinion. Most can't understand what it's actually like to be 'in the closet'. You have to pretend to be something you're not every single day, you can't have a relationship with someone you want, at least only a secret one, and you are constantly worried about being found out because you're parent(s) could throw you out the house or your friends could disown you. It's a really horrible time of your life.

I"d certainly like to think this isn"t true now. One of my friends has come out to all his friends and no-one batted an eyelid. He hasn"t come out to everyone yet (this will be anonymous as a result) but I"d like to think that apart from a couple of jokey comments he wouldn"t get any problems at all.

I think our generation is really pretty accepting of gay and lesbian orientation. Almost complete acceptance now. Having said this, I go to a fairly middle-class school and unfortunately don"t wanna say this but I think this would make a big difference :s-smilie:

sad but I think true.

But yes older generations tend to come out with comments that just shock me so much. Particularly people over 50 or 60. They can appear nice and civilised until they come out with something unacceptably homophobic. :dontknow:

guess that"s progress for you.

Peace x and good luck with everything :smile:

My mom wont accept my brother being gay :(

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