Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
If your on a date and a guy pays for you (buys the meal/tickets/whatever it is your doing) does it make a BIG difference to whether you like the guy or not (I gather that going on a date with someone kind of implies you like them anyway) but does the buying things for you help with that?
AND
are there any things that guys do on dates that makes you girls just cringe like, put you off completely? (you know, except the obvious)
(I realise I'm generalising a bit here, but hey.. I'm a general kind of guy)
umm. I like the guy to make the effort but I never actually let them pay for me. Its always nice though if they offer. It doesn't make a huge difference to me though. Just an added bonus.
Awkward silences. If a guy can sit there and not try and break the silence, then thats it. No second date.
Also chewing with your mouth open, or talking when your mouth is full. Thats just gross.
It is nice if he offers to pay, but I would always pay for something else e.g. in cinema he pays for tickets so I pay for all the overpriced snacks. If paying is a make or break thing, you're dating the wrong sort of girls. It shouldn't matter. I don't think men should be expected to pay for everything all the time.
Awkward silences are awful...bad hygiene (e.g. bad breath) would immediately kill a date. I once went on a date that was so awful, the guy just kept talking about himself to the point that I literally just wanted to fall asleep. Be attentive, and interesting, and if you're feeling a little bit nervous, tell her rather than just act like an idiot or clam up and say nothing. That's far more likely to break the ice.
In my opinion if a guy asks me on a date then he has to pay. Its just manners really.. and I mean I dont care if my date is rich or poor, I wont be disappointed if we just go and have a chat at the park or whatever rather than going out for dinner if he cant afford it.
Well silence is a big off putter, also no manners as in like eating with your mouth open, not opening the door for me etc. if he arrives late for the date without a reasonable explenation and talkingabout ex girlfriends lol.
Be attentive, and interesting, and if you're feeling a little bit nervous, tell her rather than just act like an idiot or clam up and say nothing. That's far more likely to break the ice.
True words. I once went out with a lad and the first thing he said to me (other than hi) was "Okay I'd better tell you that I'm nervous", which I appreciated, it was honest, self-deprecating and gave us something in common.
I would expect him to at least offer to pay, it's just manners. Call me old fashioned, but if a guy didn't offer I would be a little put off, but I s'pose it depends how much you like him initally
If a guy asks me out on a date, I think it's nice if he pays. I'll suggest we split the bill and I'm fine with doing that, but if he seems very keen on splitting the bill I'll think that's quite petty of him. Also, turn off your phone when you're on a date.
It is nice if he offers to pay, but I would always pay for something else e.g. in cinema he pays for tickets so I pay for all the overpriced snacks. If paying is a make or break thing, you're dating the wrong sort of girls. It shouldn't matter. I don't think men should be expected to pay for everything all the time.
Awkward silences are awful...bad hygiene (e.g. bad breath) would immediately kill a date. I once went on a date that was so awful, the guy just kept talking about himself to the point that I literally just wanted to fall asleep. Be attentive, and interesting, and if you're feeling a little bit nervous, tell her rather than just act like an idiot or clam up and say nothing. That's far more likely to break the ice.
I think he should pay. Anyone ever seen the movie Shopgirl with Claire Danes? Its about this girl and she works in a shop and meets two guys, one of them is old and rich and pays for her and everything and the other is young and doesn't have a lot of money and he takes her on a date to the cinema, so she thinks atleast, they end up sitting infront of the cinema and having a chat because he hasn't got enough money to invite her. Sounds stupid but its really cute in the movie.
But why? I agree it is nice to be offered, and even for him to insist sometimes, but would you really be put off if you split it sometimes? Or are you talking strictly first dates here? With a first date, I think it depends if you already knew the guy. The less I know the man, the more I would expect him to offer to pay for everything. But I still probably wouldn't want him to, I can pay my own way and otherwise I feel as though I owe him something.
Itt: Women who want equality yet are too stingey to pay half of a bill.
Never date a nigerian girl then. She will take you for all you are worth. My goodness, I detest dating girls of my own country. They really drown all your cash. They want to be taken to the nicest restaurant in town AND YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
The main thing that affects how I see someone is their manners. How they eat in particular - food to mouth, not mouth to food and chewing with mouth closed not open! I also generally expect the guy to offer to pay - it's gentlemanly. I never let them pay though unless they're taking me out for a birthday meal or something like that. Normally I go halves. Never EVER adding up the cost of my meal and the cost of yours and what did you have for pudding and I had X to drink so that = X for me to pay and Y for you to pay - that drives me nuts!
Location: Bristol for uni, West London when at home
Posts: 571
Re: Dates.. (for girls i guess)
My bf pays for most things and when I offer to he doesn't like it. He says this is coz he works full time and I'm a student, living on my own etc. On a date I'd like him to pay, but I randomly pay for little things like cinema tickets, tickets for days out etc.
But why? I agree it is nice to be offered, and even for him to insist sometimes, but would you really be put off if you split it sometimes? Or are you talking strictly first dates here? With a first date, I think it depends if you already knew the guy. The less I know the man, the more I would expect him to offer to pay for everything. But I still probably wouldn't want him to, I can pay my own way and otherwise I feel as though I owe him something.
Because for me its just manners. If I go out with a friend ( A boy) then I'd obviously pay for myself but when its a date he has to pay. I can't help it, if its our first date then yeah I would be put off. Im not saying after a few dates, If Im going on like the 4th date withthe guy then I would be different, but for sure first dates have to be payed by the guys. I now that I can pay my own way and I dont need to prove it to anyone, and I wouldn't see it as owing something to the guy, I didn't force him after all..
Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
Useful Resources:
Dates.. (for girls i guess)
